Hot Chocolate
by robin daggers
Summary: Robin Scherbatsky isn't the type of woman who thinks that just because her uterus decides to work, she is entitled to a baby. Then again, hot chocolate and Barney might make her come around to the idea. /post-wedding swarkles
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hello…._

_This is my first how I met your mother fanfiction (and first fanfiction that I have written since February) , and I'm hoping for it to be pretty long. It will mainly be fluffy, hence the nauseatingly fluffy name- mainly cute moments of Barney and Robin going through pregnancy (whoops, spoiler alert). Of course, the first few chapters will be a bit more feeling-y (it's a word), but I have some pretty sweet ideas that I want to use. Please, please, please leave a _**_review_**_ to tell me if you like it…- I'm well aware that my writing sucks, and the pregnancy storyline is pretty cliché, but I couldn't resist writing :)_

_(also, I apologize for my English spellings, and any words I use that aren't particularly American. Some words will probably have American spellings, since that's how autocorrect works, so sorry for the inconsistencies)_

_do leave a review so that I know whether to continue. Thanks! *edit- I had to upload + quickly delete this before re-uploading; the formatting was really messed up*_

* * *

"So I guess it's kind of stupid" Robin finished, accenting the word 'stupid' with a swallow. Nervously, she used both hands to brush hair behind her ears before putting her hands awkwardly onto her knees. She swallowed again, blinking to compose herself, before smiling at the doctor: the sort of shaky smile that she gave when pretending to be okay.

The room was silent, and after spending about an hour there, Robin was eager to leave. Frankly, the whole place made her feel _nauseous_. (Then again, that wasn't something new.) Once the Doctor clicked his pen, the place seemed noiseless again, and the only real sound was her boots clicking against the plastic seat she was perched on. That, and the jittery little breaths she was making.

She hated that there was a tiny part of her that was still _hoping_, and that even her ridiculous denial issues couldn't shut it down. She hated feeling so exposed. To Robin, it felt like weakness. Glancing up at the clock, then to the doctor again, she bit her lip nervously. "Maybe I should just go…-"

"No, no. Your test results won't be long, Mrs…" he paused to check is clipboard, then raised his eyebrows almost disbelievingly as he said "_Sparkles_"

Robin nodded. Drumming her fingers on the side of the chair, she tried to prepare herself for the worst. That was a technique she had learned growing up; if you set your expectations low, you were less likely to be disappointed. Trouble was, a strong competitive streak made it difficult for her not to aim high, which left her feeling disappointed quite a lot. Actually, very often.

This was different though. After today, it wouldn't just be her that was affected; Barney would be too. Barney. She was almost regretting not telling him about this. Of course, she couldn't, not when she was so scared of the results. It wouldn't be fair to heap pressure on him, make him feel like he has to be okay with what happens. After all this isn't the sort of challenge that you can 'accept', or strategically plan, or use crazy lies and costumes to get what you want.

Today depended on Robin's _body._ And a part of it that she has no control over.

She shook her thoughts away from the fact that she had a _problem_, Robin let her mind cast back to a month earlier, letting herself at least remember how she got here. Anything to stop her from speculating the outcome.

* * *

(About a month earlier)

It was Barneys lips that woke her up, gentle kisses tracing her slope of her cheekbones. Robin smiled, and then groaned with tiredness, screwing up her face and rubbing her eyes. She could feel that Barney was sat up, straddling her, moving his mouth down her neck, and pulling her into a hug. Upon feeling the duvet slip away from her, she made small snorting noises in protest to getting up. In response, her husband shook his head with a little smirk; generally, Robin was pretty damn good at waking up early, having become accustomed to the obscure sleep patterns that came with her old 'get up new york job'. She was usually she was pretty unfazed by early starts.

Recently, though, she had been feeling oddly fatigued. The fact that she and Barney hadn't managed to get a whole lot of sleep done that night, or _most_ nights for that matter, was no help.

(Nor was the fact that their silk sheets were ridiculously smooth, and Barney's fingers on the nape of her neck made her want to keep them there for the foreseeable future.)

She flexed her hands, and stretched out her arms, placing them comfortably on her husband's shoulders. Barney moved his arms down to her waist, palm resting on her lower back. He lifted her so that she was upright; all the time, she was kissing him. She briefly broke it off so as to move his hands further upwards, where he could touch her _properly_, and then resumed.

Barney laughed a little as he felt his hands being dragged up. His right hand left her body and moved up to her hair, clasping a handful of soft brown. Their morning make-out sessions were one of his favourite activities, he would readily admit.

"G'morning" he mumbled to her mouth, slipping his tongue past her teeth. They leaned deeper into the kiss, both with closed eyes. Barney made a noise as he moved his tongue against hers, which was warm and _perfect_.

A few minutes passed. Robin began to move her hands from his back into his hair, running her nails through the sides and wrapping the other around the top part of his shoulders. Barney moved to kiss down her neck, his tongue immediately finding that _spot_ around her collar. Lightly, he brushed his lips over it, and Robin responded with a fond "g'morning Barney."

Against the side of her chest, she could feel his thumb stroking, and she remembered that it was a _Saturday_, and that they had _all morning_ together. She grinned to herself, and smoothed her hands across his chest, loving the way her fingers slid over his abs.

"You wanna help me wake up properly?" she asked softly, an air of seduction creeping into her tone. Here she he pressed her hips closer to Barney's, unbuttoning her shirt and lowering herself onto him. He cocked his eyebrow and leant forward to meet her lips again, his reply of 'totally' barely audible over the rustling of sheets.

* * *

"mmh" Robin sighed "who was that from?"

She peered over her husbands back in order to read the text he had just received; their spooning session had just been interrupted by a smug 'ping' from Barney's phone. Robin found this _most_ displeasing. Her leg gave him a little kick; their legs were tangled up in the sheets, and Barney was subconsciously playing footsie with her. Weirdly enough she actually enjoyed it. Marriage had allowed them to grow very sentimental. As a rule, Robin disliked most forms of intimacy, always finding it awkward. Plus, she knew for a fact that Barney would have a girl reeling backwards on the 'hoe-be-gone sleep system' before he would consider _cuddling_. Sickeningly enough, love had made her like it. Nestling into Barney's shoulders, or being held by him, were the times she was happiest.

She nudged his shoulder with her chin. His arm snaked itself around her, pulling her closer whilst the other one held up the where she could see.

It read:

_I need you and Marshall at the bar. _Now_. Having a girlfriend crisis. –Ted_

Robin gave an amused sigh. "Ah, Teddy boy." She burrowed closer to Barney, signalling for the phone so that she could read the message again.

"What do you think the crisis is?" she questioned after scanning it, getting rid of the text and smirking at Barney's screensaver before she locked the phone.

It was a picture of her (looking royally pissed off) in a large American hat, with Barney grinning manically next to her, native flag in tow. A pretty low point for her… a result of losing a Barney-bet.

"-and you should really change that picture."

"hey," said Barney, holding his hands up mockingly. "you asked me not to have the lingerie photo. So I changed it." He traced the side of her cheek on the photo with his thumb.

"although _I_ prefer the way you look in this one." He performed a few quick taps on the phone, producing the picture of his wife in not very much black and pink lace. "Certainly a lot more skin on show…" he added promiscuously, leaning towards her. Robin slapped his face away playfully.

"I'm _not_ going again until I've had breakfast." She informed him, deadly serious. "I swear I haven't been this hungry since" she paused in order to produce a good example "since that time a few years ago, when Marshall was burger hunting."

"yeah… and you finished your detox early?" added Barney, remembering. Then his expression turned

"And you tried to eat garbage."

"a- hey there," Robin acted indignant, "I hadn't eaten in days." She said dramatically, trying to justify herself. "Besides, It was in the wrapper, and mhf-"

Her complaint was cut short by his lips on hers again, a quick peck on her mouth, then nose, before moving away to finally get up. At about noon.

Barney swung his legs out of the bed, and extended his arms in front of him, clicking his joints before standing up. Robin watched the muscles move in his back. Despite the fact that they she had spent most of the morning gripping them, she really wanted to touch them again.

As he stood up, he felt a tugging on his arm.

"Are you _actually_ leaving me for Ted and Marshall." She said, a tiny bit grumpily, whilst he walked over to the suit room to grab a pair of pants. Never had Robin been the clingy wife who never let her husband see his friends, on the contrary- after years of denying her feelings, she was well equipped to spent time apart from Barney. But she was enjoying the snuggling, and actually wanted to continue.

"I have to go" he told her noticing the distaste in her voice, and finding it endearing,

"It's a _crisis."_ His tone went up on crisis, as he sarcastically cocked his head. Robin shook hers with that slightly entertained sigh-smile that she always responded to his jokes with. Next to her, she realized that Barney's pillow was no longer in use, so she reached over to steal it, and use it to prop herself up against the bedframe.

Noticing, he muttered "You didn't need a pillow earlier",

He knew to dodge out of the way as Robin aimed the pillow at him; he was incorrigible, she thought. Nonetheless, she decided to divert the topic back to Ted. Their pillow fights never resolved _easily,_ (you could say). And she really was way too hungry for any more of _that _until later.

"What do you think it is this time" she asked, and Barney shrugged with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Ever since Ted began dating Tabatha, an uncanny trend of calling his friends for hugely mundane advice had begun. The whole gang loved Tabs, and the fact that Ted finally found a relationship in which the girl was equally couple-y.

"Do you remember that time when I got a call at 3 in the morning asking what the best type of maple syrup for brunch was."

Barney made a face to show that yes he did recall that event, because he too was woken up. He started to speak in his almost cartoonish voice, one that he reserved specially for making fun of others.

"Gee, I don't know what this one is going to be about…- maybe he doesn't know how many roses and chocolate boxes and marching bands are too many in one day." she laughed, which only prompted him to continue "or- _or_... maybe he wants to know if gingerbread and honeynut scented candles would be too overpowering for a romantic evening,"

"Or" butted in Robin, "maybe he's wondering why his friend Barney isn't at the bar."

She got up out of bed to walk over to her husband, who had darted into his en suite suit room to select a tie.

"Well, I'll be there in about 20 minu-" barney stopped mid sentence as he stepped out of the suit room, tie half tied and collar sticking out.

"you are wearing a sheet." He stated bluntly, raking his eyes over his wife, who was binding the sheet around her as revealingly as she could.

"yes" she nodded, raising an eyebrow. "and you are late"

"but- _body_" he told her incoherently, gesturing to her very much on display figure.

"yes Barney, it's a body"

"hot body"

"yes"

"_touch_ body?"

She smacked at his arms, waving him out of the room. "go",

He licked his lips, not showing much sign of going.

"Seriously, l_eave_, go help Ted."

Knotting his tie and grabbing a jacket from the chair Barney made for the door. "Sounds like somebody is trying to get rid of me."

"Only so I can get you back sooner," she admitted, not caring in the slightest about the cliché. She ran her hand over his now suited-up chest, feeling her fingers grasp around the tie. She shook herself.

"go." She reiterated, pressing her palm against his front to smooth out his shirt, kissed him again, and then batted him off.

"Later, _sweetie_" he called sarcastically as he left the room. Footsteps made their way to the door before it slammed, clicking automatically to announce that it was locked.

She chuckled "_idiot"_ under her breath.

* * *

Now fully showered and breakfasted, Robin wandered through to the kitchen. She leant back against the surface and pressed the button on the kettle, which began a familiar rumbling as the water began to boil. Reaching up to the mug cupboard, she chose her favourite Canadian flag mug. For a while, she just held it in her hand and thought about the morning she and Barney had had. A blissful smile spread over hear face as she rotated the mug in her hands and looked down at; it sometimes still surprised her how happy she was, and in a relationship of all things

She, Robin Scherbatsky, was married, and would actually enjoy spending lazy Saturdays planning a surprise for her husband, and to hell with anybody who told her I made her any less independent and awesome. She just felt really damn _happy_ with Barney. Plus, the surprise was going to be far from innocent; she was thinking of breaking out the French underwear that she had been saving for his birthday, but screw waiting- it was hot, and she felt like having a really _legendary_ evening.

Although, on the subject of going out, she just didn't really feel like it at the moment. Shopping with Lily, or spending hours hanging out at the bar had been really tiring her out recently. She couldn't really find an explanation for it, but since it's probably just work, or not drinking enough water or something, she stashed the idea to the back of her mind.

The low hum of the kettle jilted to a halt, at which point Robin made the decision to treat herself to a cup of hot chocolate.

Over the years, it had kind of become a guilty pleasure of hers. Robin Scherbatsky was the type of girl who hated to conform to cutesy rituals; normally she liked her coffee black, and her scotch neat.

There was something about hot chocolate, though, that enticed her. She would never admit it, she almost felt she was betraying her personality, but she liked hot chocolate as sweet as it came, with whipped cream and all that crap.

It _was_ embarrassing. Yes, she could concede that she enjoyed a Minnesota tidal wave, and sip the swirly straw somewhat ironically. But she really didn't feel like telling anybody that she liked to curl up and drink cocoa. Everything about the 'warm milk' based drink screamed twee.

However, she still drank it, even now. She remembered days as a kid, when her Dad was ignoring her, or being particularly detached. One time specifically, she had been given a brand new blue party dress from her Mom. Obviously, dresses were rare, so she had felt kind of like a princess wearing it. She had rushed to show her Dad, but he told her off for being a 'pansy'.

She had cried, and the only thing to console her was a cup of cocoa, made quickly by her mother, before an argument between her parents (over the dress) ensued.

The chocolate had felt comforting, it's heat flowed down her throat like security.

Blinking, Robin drifted back to reality, feeling something wet hit her hand, and she realized that she was actually crying. She bit her lip hard. Why the hell was she being so _emotional_?

_Not cool, Scherbatsky_, she told herself firmly, wiping the tear away with a swift brush of her forefinger.

Forcefully putting the cup down, she shook sweet powder into the bottom. For a while, she deliberated the sugar to mixture ratio. As she became content with the amount, and was about to pick the kettle up, she felt her stomach jump, and then her legs were running her to the bathroom.

Suddenly, she wasn't pouring out cocoa any more. She was clutching the cold plastic rim of the toilet as her head lurched forward, mouth suddenly bitter. She didn't have Barney to hold back her hair or hold her as she threw up, which scared her more than she would have expected.

* * *

(back at the hospital)

Robin told the doctor that she needed to go to the bathroom, and swiftly departed the room. She genuinely considered leaving right then and there, but of course she couldn't.

She wanted answers. About a month ago, she had been cheerfully oblivious to the fact that she had missed her period. It was throwing up in the bathroom for the first time that began to tell her that something might be wrong. Or, perhaps, that something was right? She wasn't sure. Frankly, she was just confused. Confused about what she wanted, and very confused about what she was letting herself want.

Slowly, she got up and walked over to shove a quarter into the hospital coffee machine. She watched as it rumbled and dispensed an unappetizing looking liquid into a brown paper cup. At the same time as she pulled it out of the metal gripper, she heard her name being called.

Such a lot had gone on since that day. Part of her wanted to just go home, because she was feeling the panic set in, along with her natural instinct to divert herself from problems and emotions.

Ah, the panic. Life as a married woman had taught her how to reduce it, but not stop it entirely. She snapped her eyes shut for a second, and pictured one of the many mornings she had been woken up with hugs and affection. Upon opening them again her bottom lip quivered a little, as if she expected Barney's to be resting on it.

Her eye line dropped to the mid-brown liquid. It was lightly foamy and still swirling around after being wrenched, a little _too_ soon, from the machine.

She gulped air before bringing the cup to her mouth. The texture of the cup felt horrible against her lips, and the first sip burnt her tongue, then the back of her throat. It was weak and fairly tasteless, but the familiarity of the drink gave her the courage to re-approach the room. _Man_, she wanted to pray for good news, only she wasn't entirely sure what good news _was._ Except she knew that she was tightly clenching the cup, letting the warmth seep through to her fingers.

It was the best substitute for Barney's hand whilst she found out if she was pregnant or not…


	2. Chapter 2

It was 4am, and once again, she had been violently woken up by the churning of her stomach, and the unpleasant taste of bile rising in her throat.

The upper part of her lip felt numb, and her inhalation was shallow. She was scared of moving; she didn't want to be sick again.

Her fingernail traced the rim of the toilet seat.

Untangling herself from Barney to go and throw up was possibly the most miserable task she had ever had to undertake. She was having getting used to it, though, as it was becoming a regular occurrence.

As she tapped the lid with her forefinger, she realized that she was shaking. She wanted to get up to leave, and cuddle up into Barney's warmth again, but the minute she pushed herself up to standing, her knees where giving way, and she was hurling again.

She wiped her mouth. This had been happening for weeks now.

She reached out her hand to grab a towel from the rack and wrapped it round herself, careful to stay close to the toilet. She was still shivering as she pulled it across her shoulders. The towel in question had been heated by the radiator, so it had a bit of warmth to it. She clung to the warmth, wishing she were underneath her duvet, next to her husband. She wanted it to be _his _warmth, his skin next to hers. When she closed her eyes, she could pretend it was.

But this wasn't the time for pretending anymore.

Robin knew she was _late_.

Yes, it had been almost a month since she should have had her period. Normally, she was never so much as a day late (as she had said before, it was a pride thing).

If it hadn't been for that fateful week in winter 2011, when she had found out about her infertility, then she would be screaming at a copy of 'what to expect' by now, going into overdrive about being late. A missed period always meant pregnancy, to her mind. Then again, she had thought that last time, and it had only ended with tears and eggnog.

So she had waited. A day. A week. After 2 weeks, it became clear to her.

At first, she had experienced a little leap of emotion in her throat, horror and confusion and _excitement_. But she had scolded herself, refusing to go there. She could not _be_ pregnant. It was not possible.

Her wonky uterus had made sure of that. Robin Scherbatsky _was_ infertile- her body was just as equipped to carry a baby as her personality was to raise one.

And, as she repeatedly told herself, she was fine with that.

_Absolutely fine: _It's not like she even wanted kids.

But although she was entirely _fine_, she was not an idiot.

All her life, she had been astute, often good at picking up on signals. She always knew when her Mom and Dad where fighting, and she always knew when they were going to take it out on her. Problem was, as good as she was at recognizing these problems, nobody had ever taught her how to deal with issues.

Generally, she just left them. That way, she wouldn't get hurt.

Emotions hurt her a lot. Ignoring them was the easy way out- she had done so for years in her relationships.

Of course, she knew that she wasn't able to have kids.

But she also knew the basic symptoms of pregnancy.

Missed period, throwing up, aversions to food (she had scathingly rejected her favourite plum duck last time they got Chinese food. And ribs. She had turned her nose up at _ribs_, for god's sakes).

She was almost _sure_ that she was pregnant, despite having been told that she would _never_ have a baby.

It was an iron clad, irreversible, and unambiguous _never. _

Never didn't mean that it would be unlikely. Never, meant _never_, never in a million years would she ever have a baby in her belly.

It didn't bother her. Not unless she saw Barney cuddling little Marvin. Then it perturbed her, making her doubt herself for a second. What if Barney had lied when he told her he was okay with not having a family. What if one day, he woke up, looked around and saw all his friends with children. And all he had was a wife with a womb that didn't work.

Sometimes it took her a lot of scotch, but she always shook the feeling off.

Which was why pregnancy was so worrying. She couldn't be pregnant, and yet she _was_. Her period, the vomiting, and the food- it all added up. If she hadn't known about the infertility, she would be halfway through a full-scale freak out, terrified of the commitment of a baby.

Thing about Robin was that she always wanted what she couldn't have. She couldn't have a baby, ever. Which meant that an irritating part of her subconscious was going to dump crippling inadequacies, along with a dollop of desperate-to-be-a-mom complications, on her possibly pregnant head.

She wasn't _ready_ for that.

Robin did not believe in miracles. They were stupid, made up _crap,_ devised to give the gooey-eyed dreamers of the world something to spur them. She did not believe in miracle babies, some magical wish, or prayer that would plant a fertilized egg in your baby garden.

However, she did believe in freak medical occurrences. And she had been forced to endure enough mushy movies with Lily and Ted to know that apparently, inexplicable miracle babies popped up here there and everywhere in the world of the Netflix romantic comedy section. Plots in which couples desperately want a baby, but can't have one. Yet when they stop trying, and reach contentment in their lives, they find themselves miraculously expecting.

And at the end, the baby always ends up with a stupid virtue name, like Hope, Faith or_ Love_.

Ted and Lily would coo over the beautiful symbolism of the name, explained in a passionate speech by the mother, as she clutched her newborn.

In turn, Robin would snort, twiddle her thumbs and not want to say that those names where _tacky_, and sounded like strippers.

Watching them after she found out about her infertility, though, she sometimes wondered what it would be like to hold her own baby. She would get mad at her self for thinking it. And would have to vehemently remind herself that she hated babies, and that they are _sticky_.

She'd rather die than acknowledge that a twisted, deviant, extremely unRobin-ish part of her wanted that, wanted to know if _her_ baby would feel _warm, _warm when she cuddled it.

* * *

Barney rolled over in bed, arm flailing onto the right side of the bed.

It was empty.

It was also cold, which meant Robin had been up for an hour, at least.

This had been happening for the last few weeks, and he couldn't really conjure up an explanation.

Robin kept saying that it was a bug, but Barney honestly wasn't buying it, because she gave him a shifty little look, and a nervous giggle as she spoke that told him she was _lying_. Or, at least, hiding something.

He hated to see her ill. Over the years, his awesome policies decreed that nobody should be ill, ever, and that illness was a totally non-awesome phenomenon that would not affect him, thank you very much.

She was strong. Frankly, he struggled to recall seeing her ill; she always reminded him that he had Canada to thank for that.

When colds were going round in winter, Barney would begin to arrogantly declare that he never got ill. After all, his awesome levels did not allow room for pathogens.

To this, Robin would slowly creep her arm around his shoulder, lean in to his ear and whisper '_Canada'_, with an impish grin.

Reminiscing those occurrences made him smile. He pushed the door to the bathroom open, only to see Robin curled up like a little cat by the side of the toilet. Her back was slumped, and she looked uncomfortable as well as tired.

He cupped her face in his hand, and was as tender as he could be as he picked her up and carried her through to the bed. Laundry had to be kicked out of the way as he wandered through; he wanted to be carful not to stumble and wake her. Robin liked to feel independent, and he didn't want her to feel weak when he was carrying her. He plopped her down, as gently as her could manage, on her side of the bed, pulling the covers haphazardly over her.

Then he crawled back into bed himself, spooning her from behind as she slept. Her back was cold, and she was trembling slightly in her sleep. He planted a kiss on her shoulder, and yanked the duvet further over her, using both it and his own body to protect her from the cold.

For a short while, he watched her sleep. He hated that he was creepy enough to do that. It was such a Ted thing to do, but she really did look gorgeous when she was sleeping. And he liked looking at her. He liked knowing that she was his to hold. The two of them had spent years pining after each other, and sometimes, it was nice to just see that she was t_here_.

A sort of half-yawn, half sigh escaped her lips, and she rolled over in his arms so that her face was inches way from his. She licked her lips in her sleep. He could feel her breath on his face, and could absolutely not resist taking it and kissing it, first on her lips, then on the bottom of her nose. Just the way he had done when they first got engaged.

Feeling this, she made a little grunting noise and opened her eyes. At first she looked confused, but the softness of his lips on her made her feel safe.

"Where am I?" she grumbled, blinking her eyes shut.

"You fell asleep in the bathroom. I think you threw up again… you weren't in bed when I woke up. I found you in the bathroom getting close and personal with the toilet." He raised his eyebrow. She groaned, rubbing her face and clicking her muscles, which were obviously tensed from her time on the bathroom floor.

"What's the time?"

"About 6?"

"_Crap_" she moaned, starting to reposition herself to get up. Barney immediately pressed her back down.

"Nope."

"I have _work,_ Barney. And so do you."

"Call in sick… It would be true."

"Yeah, but- what about you?" she looked at him earnestly, tracing his stubble with her thumb; he clearly hadn't had time to shave last night.

"I can be late." He whispered into the side of her hair. She gave a sort of satisfied smile, closing her eyes and pushing herself nearer to him, finding a slice contentment in the intimacy: the heat of his arms around her waist.

She moved her hands to play with his hair. Her eyes flickered open to admire her handiwork. She cackled to herself sleepily, similar to the way she laughed when she was drunk.

"You have bed hair."

Barney gave her a monotonous expression.

"Bed hair Barney." She giggled uncharacteristically, raking her hands through the untidiness. She loved seeing him raw, in bed with her. No hair product, no flawless suit, no bravado.

Just _her Barney. _

Her Barney Scherbatsky. (He didn't enjoy the fact that that nickname had stuck)

"You look very handsome." She murmured, tired, eyes barely open as she continued to pat his hair. By now, she was drifting off. She was barely aware of Barney's lips on hers again, probably in a futile attempt to prevent bed-hair Barney from becoming his new alias.

Whilst she snuggled with him, she felt okay again. It was always that way. Doubts seemed to plague her, but when she was actually with her husband, they weren't there anymore.

It was a bizarre emotional set up, one that 8-years ago, Robin wouldn't have believed herself capable of.

Yet when she was with him, he was her security blanket. She felt like having fun, and being stupid, and not like worrying about her infertility, or the fact that she might actually have a human being growing inside her right now. And she didn't even know if she was capable of keeping it, let alone wanting it.

She felt scared. Again. Even after feeling deliriously happy for about 5 brilliant minutes.

So she hooked a leg around Barney and pecked his cheek. She settled her chin onto the pillow, so she could fall asleep looking at him.

And as repulsively sentimental as it felt, it worked.

* * *

Robin woke at about 10. Instantly, she leapt out of bed, regardless of her aching muscles. She knew that she had overslept, and was anxious to get to work. After all, she wasn't the type of woman to miss a day of her job because she was 'under the weather'.

On top of the dresser sat a note from Barney. She noticed it as she was about to grab some clothes.

_Hey Scherbatsky. _

_If you are reading this, then you are probably trying to go to work. _

_Don't._

_I already called in sick for you. No complaining, you've been spewing like a fire hydrant for the last few days. Stay home. Shower. Watch TV. Relax or something. _

_Get better please. I don't want my wife to cheat on me with the own bathroom again. _

_Barney_

_PS- I love you _

Amused, she set the note down, laughing internally at the Robin Sparkles (or, more precisely, _daggers_) reference. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to take the day off. She did feel like death warmed up, and a nice shower might just be the thing to fix that. And maybe a nap; she felt ridiculously tired still from last night.

She guessed that it might be pregnancy.

Stepping out of her night shorts didn't take long, and soon she was twisting the knob of the shower, watching as the water spritzed from the head in sharp jets.

As it hit her skin, it bounced off in patterns, making the hair on her arm visible.

She picked up the shampoo bottle and squeezed out a large glop of lemon onto her palm, and started lathering it into foam. Tilting her head back, and letting it seep through the roots of her hair, was what she needed. Water ran down her head, and she closed her eyes tightly to make sure no bubbles got in.

It reminded her of about a month previously.

* * *

_She had walked into the apartment straight after work, planning to meet Barney there before heading to the bar. She tossed her keys down, and shrugged out of her coat. _

_Then she realized that she could hear singing. _

_Coming from the bathroom was a vocally flawless version of summer nights. Straight away, she identified the voice as Barney's. With a wry smile, she had leant back down to her coat pocket to retrieve her phone. Some recording was in order._

_She held the phone out in front of her, tiptoeing across the living room to get to the bathroom, stifling her laughter as she approached. _

_The bathroom door was open, beckoning her in. To her delight, Barney was singing into a shower gel bottle. _

Oh, Stinson_. She thought to herself_, I will _never _let you forget this.

_His back was to her, soap running down the left side of his back; he had seemingly missed it when showering the bubbles away. His hair was wet, and flattened down by the water, losing some of its usual volume. Robin wanted to run her hands through it. Weirdly enough, not in a sexual way._

_In a sort of _I-love-you-so-damn-much-because-you-are-a-naked-id iot-singing-grease-in-the-shower,-and-because-we-a re-actually-married…-and-seeing-you-warble-into-a- bottle-of-papaya-peach-passion-scrub-makes-me-want to-tell-you-just-how-horrendously-in-love-I-am_ way._

_That, however, could not be said. _

_She settled for filming him, actually having to place her hand over her mouth to stop herself from erupting in yelps of laughter. He was delightfully unaware of her presence, and… oh god he was _wiggling along_ to the 'tell me mores.' _

_Then he was doing the final note of summer nights, and he used that typical Barney expression that he made whenever he sung (or said the word awesome with a startlingly high pitch). _

"_Yes! Got it!" Robin exclaimed aloud, finally able to make a noise. She snickered as she pressed the button to end the video. "Oh my _God_ I can't believe I got the whole thing" _

'_wah- Robin?" _

_Barney whipped his head around, surprised. "How long have you been stand-"_

_Then he noticed the phone. His eyes zipped from her, to the phone, and back to her. He shook his head, slowly at first, then more rapidly, brain in motion, imagining all of the awful blackmail situations. Considering the embarrassing videos he had of her, she really was in need of media-based revenge. _

"_No." His eyes widened. "No" "g-…gimme the phone" He was stilted, hand making a grabbing gestures. _

"_No way." Robin retorted, grinning broadly. "this" she waved the phone teasingly. "is staying with momma." _

"_Gimme the phone" he wined, voice growing childlike as he continued the snatching motions. His wife simply shook her head, eyes glinting as she slid it along the bathroom cabinet. _

"_Gimme the phone!" he yelled, brow furrowing, frustration rising in a manor that he intended to be threatening, but Robin found completely endearing. _

"_Oh my _god_, this is the best day ever." _

"Worst_ day ever." _

"_I'm so happy right now!" _

"_Robin." He began pleadingly, holding out his hand. Suspicious, she took it, only touching him tentatively, incase he decided to try any funny business. _

_That was a mistake. _

_He was pulling her into the shower, fully clothed, soaking her as he twisted the shower nozzle so that it directed at her face. _

"_You _bastard!_" She shouted, grabbing the showerhead and spraying it messily in Barney's direction, not hugely bothering to see that it stayed inside the shower area. _

"_Robin… no… my SUIT!" _

_On the chair by the shower it sat, utterly drenched, red tie a rather maroon-ish shade from the water. Barney scowled._

"_You are a _monster_," he told her as she bent the shower back, putting it back in its clasp. "a total mo-"_

_She took her completely wet dress off. Water was still beating onto them, cascading down her front. _

_He looked at her, eyes glinting at the way the droplets ran down her chest._

"_A beautiful monster." He conceded._

_His voice was quieter than before. She started slithering her fingers over his abs, and raised her eyebrows._

" _I know."_

"Minx_" _

_He kissed her, deep and immediate. Her hair became tangled in his hand as his mouth engulfed hers, making her legs tremble promptly. A small moan of pleasure escaped her lips before she broke it off to mumble into his neck. _

"_This changes nothing. The footage is mine." She paused, searching for something naughty to say. "_Danny"

_As playfully as she could muster, she winked. It was difficult when he was so heavily _touching_ her._

_She wondered how he would react to the Grease reference. Lips parted, she waited. _

_He simply stroked one hand around her boob, slowly moved his lips back onto hers, and purred, again, "_minx".

_Her leg was wrapping itself around his waist as she arched her back into the side of the shower. In the process, she knocked off about 6 bottled products, but she didn't even notice. _

_Because now her fingers were finally in his hair, grasping handfuls at a time as he moved his kisses to her neck. His tongue swept rapidly over the spot right on the side of her ear…_

Bliss

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, she smiled at the memory. Every part of the apartment had snippets of nostalgia.

She sighed.

Even the towel that she was currently using to dry herself had memories. Of last night. Falling asleep in the bathroom.

She gripped the sink as she inspected her face, checking for blemishes. Then she squinted at her reflection, leaning closer.

It looked… _fuller_?

No. It _couldn't_. At this point, she was just searching for signs of pregnancy. Which was, stupid, because it couldn't ever happen.

And she needed to just accept that.

Miracles do not exist, not in this version of reality. Her body didn't work like normal women's bodies did. It sucked. She would admit that now. Not having a baby wasn't the problem, it was the fact that she couldn't. The fact that she couldn't, even if she did want to.

She had been making some decisions of her own, lately. She had almost _decided _that she was going to be pregnant. Like it was just something that could be chosen. And she wasn't worried about it. She was not freaking out.

Her reflection stared blankly at her.

_Why wasn't she freaking out?_

Perchance, it was because a niggling voice kept telling her that maybe, just _maybe_, being a mom wouldn't be such a bad thing. Even though she has never wanted it- more than that- had been stubbornly against it, for most of her life, she thought that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to wake up to the kisses of Barney…- _and _a miniature version of them.

She took a large breath. Mirror Robin looked sad, her eyes blurred slightly from tears forming in them. Robin looked away.

This wasn't what she wanted.

It just couldn't be.

Because she couldn't have it, and damnit, motherhood is not even something she'd be cut out for.

She nodded at this idea, agreeing with her inner monologue. Babies and her did not mix. She doesn't want this. Which is good, because it can't happen.

What could happen was Barney. A warm smile crept across her face, and she didn't have to hide it.

_Barney. _

Her and Barney, goofing around in the shower. Barney who would pick her up, and carry her back through to her bedroom after she had been throwing up.

That is _absolutely_ all she needs.

She looked at herself again. The thought of Barney seemed to have been infectious; the smile had spread to her eyes, and she was looking _glad_. Her brain gave her another little glimpse of the grease moment in the shower, making her chortle.

Luckily for her pride, the camera did not catch her singing 'you're the one that I want' with him later that day.

She padded through to the bedroom again, and picked up her phone from his locker, and began sorting through her pictures and videos, eager to relive the moment again.

As she scrolled, her finger hesitated over an photo.

It was of her and Marvin. Barney had taken it, shortly after she had overcome her baby holding fear. Marvin was gurgling happily, and Robin's hands were fully supporting him as they smiled to the camera, young and older faces pressed close together.

Her thumb tapped their faces to enlarge it. Guiltily, she stroked the image of Marvin's face.

_Damnit. _

She_ gotsta_ know.

Without stopping to think, she exited her images and brought up her contacts. She went through them, and it didn't take long for her to find the one she wanted.

_Please can you come round. Don't bring the others._

Tabatha was the only one she can really go to; all of her close friends were too heavily invested in her life. She couldn't deal with the impending optimism, and overbearing care of Lily, Marshall or Ted.

Or Barney.

She could not bear to get Barney's hopes up.

Tabatha, on the other hand, was new to the group. Robin liked her, but didn't really know her well enough to feel like Tabby would judge her.

(Besides. It was the only option other than _Patrice.)_

Pulling a face at the thought, she typed out another sentence.

_Bring a pregnancy test. Please_

She gulped as she looked at it. Her finger dithered over the send button.

She wanted to get rid of the message, and to go on with her life like this wasn't happening. More than anything, she wanted to feel Barney holding her, secure and tight. The feeling of peace she gets when they are together were some of the only times when she could totally dismiss her worries, and just be _her_.

The text remained, bold and undeleted, ready to be sent.

What if Barney was holding _their _baby? She knew straight away that he would hold it secure and tight, too.

Images flashed, and they hurt Robin so much, even to imagine.

She was kissing a baby. Barney was tickling a baby. He was smiling, wider than Robin had ever actually seen him smile.

_Barney stroking her swollen tummy during pregnancy, his wedding ring bumping her belly button as he kissed her gently. _

She pressed send.


	3. Chapter 3

Waiting for Tabby to arrive made every minute seem excruciatingly long.

Robin watched the clock, pupils intently following the hand as it made its way around the circuit. She could tell that her shoulders where shuddering, and it was all she could do to not get up and rip the clock apart, forcing time to move a little faster.

Tabatha took about half an hour to get there.

She had been at the bar with Ted when she got the text, and they had been halfway through a heated discussion about Yoda.

Her eyes were instantly drawn to the line:

_Bring a pregnancy test._

_Weird_, she thought.

Being totally truthful, Tabby felt uncomfortable doing this. She liked Robin a lot, only, she didn't know her very well. Of all the group, she was least close with Robin, which made it odd that Robin had chosen her to bring a pregnancy test. It seemed such an intimate thing, that she would presumably be doing with Barney, or even Lily.

She knew from Ted that Robin didn't want kids, and was always very against having them. And that she was infertile.

Robin didn't want a baby, and Tabby knew that many women didn't. She respected that. But she herself adored babies, and couldn't wait to have one of her own. And even if she hadn't wanted one, she was sure that finding out she couldn't _ever_ have one would hurt.

The only thing that might hurt _more_ would be false hope.

Which was why she really had no clue what to anticipate as she pushed the already ajar door of the Stinson apartment open, to find a very shaky Robin sat on the couch, looking over to her nervously.

* * *

"So now we wait." said Tabatha, placing the box on the side, having read out the instructions to Robin through the bathroom door.

"Now we wait." Robin echoed, faintly. She emerged from the bathroom looking ghost white. Worries were bombarding her mind, and she was already terrified to find out the results.

"Are you okay?" smiled Tabatha sympathetically, putting a comforting hand on Robin's shoulder.

The taller woman shrugged it off, making her way over to the couch.

_I have never been less okay in my life. _

She sat and stared at the stick for a while, lip quaking.

Part of her willed the minute to go by, so she could get it all over and done with. Another part, though, didn't want the minute to end. As long as she didn't know, she could at least kid herself that there was a chance. A faint chance that perhaps, this could happen.

Her eyelashes were fluttering quickly, obscuring her sight. She didn't want to look at the blue and white plastic stick in her hand. Pursing her lips, she set it down on the table. Now, she didn't even have to hold it, or have it make her palms sweat around the clammy plastic.

Tabatha sat down next to Robin.

"Do you want to…? I don't know," she paused, seeing the way Robin's fingers were juddering, and her head was down. "Talk? I promise, no judging. I'll just listen."

"I don't wanna talk."

Her voice was dry, and cracked over the word '_talk_'. She closed her eyes, wanting to be somebody else.

Maybe if she shut everything out, she wouldn't have to think about this.

_That wouldn't work._

(It never had done.)

For such a long time, Robin had tried desperately to avoid problems, assuming that if she didn't talk about something, it would go away.

More often than not, it didn't. Shying away from issues had only ever brought Robin more heartache. But it was her default mechanism: avoid the things that are most important to you. Because they hurt the _most._

For this reason, Barney was the last person she had told about her infertility. She cared about his reaction more than anybody else's. Telling him scared her. So much.

Blinking, she started to relive her thought process of telling him. It had been not all that long before their wedding day.

She had known, known with more solidarity than anything in the world, that he loved her. That didn't stop the fear of him leaving her. A niggling sensation, which could probably be traced back to childhood, kept telling her that she _wasn't good enough._

Because Kevin had loved her, too. Kevin, who was so stable and kind, had been so assured of his love, and even he couldn't stay with her once he found out.

Losing him had been painful. It had wounded her so much to know that her inability to provide children meant that she had lost her partner.

But losing _Barne_y.

That wasn't even worth imagining.

The mere suggestion of not having Barney to be with her, to love her, to kiss her every morning for the rest of her life, was _unthinkable_. Finally, after all the drama, she had found something worthwhile. A proper relationship, where she didn't feel like she was faking love, or that she didn't love the other person enough.

She and Barney…- Barney and her- they were _concrete. _

At last, they could actually be together. Timing had favored them. She had actually been ready for marriage, for walking down the aisle in the pretty white dress, towards a man. The fantasy that she had never allowed herself to have, had never _been allowed_ to have, was coming true.

She knew that it would be him waiting at the end of the aisle, just as scared as she would be. She knew that he too would find what he needed in a pair of blue eyes.

In their relationship, they loved each other perfectly equally.

And Robin had been panicked that she could mess it up by divulging the fact that she could never carry their children.

* * *

(The day Robin told Barney)

1am in New York wasn't all that dark, Robin noted.

Normally, if she was out at 1am, she was in the bar, or in a cab, or too blind drunk to notice anything that was going on.

That day, though, she was up on the roof with Barney.

The two of them were slouched against the cement walls, sat down swigging beer from the bottle. It was late, and they had gone up there in the early evening for some _awesome_ rooftop lovin'.

Instead of going back down, they had somehow found themselves uneager to leave. Barney had cracked open the six-pack of beer that they brought up at about 7pm, and they were down to the last 2 bottles.

Robin was staring at the sky. She had always expected it to be really _dark,_ if you sat and concentrated on it, but it wasn't. The lights from the city itself were barely visible over the smog that clouded the stars, which certainly couldn't be seen. Her hand was in Barney's, rested on the place where their knees met, and she was slowly stroking her thumb along his.

It was one of those rare intimate moments that she didn't often have. As she constantly stated, she was not a touchy-feely type. Neither was Barney- _god_, he'd been known to fake a seizure to avoid snuggling with one of his hook-ups. But he was here, and he was holding her hand. They didn't say anything, just watched the sky and sought comfort in the touching.

She adjusted her head to lean onto his shoulder, and he relaxed his on top of her hair. It was soft on his cheek.

"I used to stargaze when I was a kid,"

He spoke dreamily, looking at the bleary sky rather than directly at Robin. She couldn't help smiling at this piece of knowledge. Her brain pictured a little Barney Stinson, all blonde curls and a goofy smile.

"I had this telescope in my room." He continued, still watching the night, "I would look out of it all the time. It kind of reminded me of star wars. My Mom used to watch them with me, sometimes. We'd just sit and look at the stars, and she'd tell me about the constellations and stuff. I get that it's lame… but I sometimes think about what a good Mom she was."

He took a breath, as if hesitant.

"I..- I always said that if I had a kid, I'd buy them a telescope."

Silence.

Robin didn't say anything.

She allowed the quiet to be filled by the noise of the city. People bustling about, the whining of a siren, and a faint sound of some woo-girl, partying into the night.

She took a deep breath and swallowed. Her eyes were on the verge of tears, and she knew that if she said what she was about to say, then they would be in extreme danger of tipping over.

Robin sucked on the rim of her beer bottle. Then she looked at Barney. Who had basically just admitted that he wanted kids someday, kids that had telescopes and an amazing mom. She knew him well enough to pick up on the fact that he was telling her that he thought _she _would be an amazing mom.

An amazing mom to his…- no, _their_ children.

The children they couldn't have. Couldn't even dream about having.

He deserved to know. If he was going to marry her, then he deserved to know everything. Before, she had presumed that he liked kids, and wouldn't mind having one, but didn't actively plan on it happening. That was okay with her. She could deal with that. But this was different. He had just informed her, in his own, Barney-ish way, that he wanted babies with her.

"I'm infertile."

_Infertile._

She didn't want to sugar coat it, or give some emotional truck about 'not being able to bear a child.'

_She was infertile._ As in, something was _wrong_ with her.

She wasn't like other girls. Possibly, he wouldn't want to get married to her after he found out that she was incapable of giving him a family of his own, a way of proving that he could be a good father, like his dad had failed to be.

She didn't doubt that he loved her, or cared for her. She knew that she could rely on him. But that _voice_ of her father, that always told her how inadequate she was, wouldn't stop bothering her. It shot her images of a life where Barney wouldn't be _her_ Barney anymore. And he wouldn't kiss her like he did now.

(What if he didn't kiss her ever again?)

"Say something," she whispered, looking at him pleadingly. Anything. It wouldn't have mattered. She simply needed some reassurance that he was _there_.

He turned to face her, staring into her wet eyes. Her lip was trembling as she looked at him, imploring him to tell her that he loved her, that he wanted her still.

"You can't have a baby." He stated bluntly. He didn't try to hide the pang of hurt that was weaving across him. His face displayed that blank look of disappointment that he sometimes gave, that look of hurt. She hated that the universe was doing this to him.

To _them_.

Why, damnit, could she not have a functioning womb.

"No," she confirmed, breaking to a whimper. She swiveled so that her whole body was facing him. She gripped his hand.

"I'm sorry."

She was crying now, very real tears trickling down her face. She nuzzled her head into his suit.

"I'm so, so _sorry_." Her face was crumbling.

"Sorry for what?" he questioned, tone more delicate.

Shooting him an indignant look, she let it out. The truth, how she really, truly felt about it.

"Sorry because," She smudged a tear away from her cheek "…because I love you. And if I'd told you that I was pregnant, you would have grinned and kissed my stomach. You'd and told me you loved our baby. You_ would_. Even if you were scared." She had to stop to swallow the blubbing.

"And I'm_ sorry_ that I can't ever give that to you."

She looked so defeated as she said the last line. It killed Barney to see her like that. Absolutely killed him.

"Don't ever be sorry, Scherbatsky." He ran a hand through her hair, and wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. "Ever." His thumb brushed away the stains of her crying.

"We're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together." She was barely even speaking, as she confessed, "_what if you didn't want me any more_."

The look of pure vulnerability on Robin reminded Barney of how insecure she really was. Underneath the hard exterior, of strength and_ badassary_, Robin just needed somebody to love her.

And she'd been feeling like _she_ wasn't good enough for_ him_?

Every day, he felt amazed at how fortunate he was to have landed a woman like her. A woman so stunning, so intoxicating. He felt amazed at how easy it had been to leave single life behind, when it meant that he could wake up to her weight on him, and her soft snoring into his ribs.

He hated himself for all the moments that he had talked about other women in front of her, or told stories about old plays.

"I will always want you, Scherbatsky." His gaze darted over her, over her utter, uninhibited self-exposure. "I will always love you."

He heard a tiny, tearful laugh escape her lips, so he added a firm:

"_Always."_

He took her and pulled her into his arms, so that she was sat in-between his legs on the roof floor; he was wrapped protectively around her. He kissed all down her hairline, and grasped her as tightly as he could.

She turned to face him, still shaky. Still crying.

"Hey…-_hey."_ He attempted to comfort her, rubbing her shoulders and looking directly at her, and smiling through his own discomfort.

"I'm right here."

"Promise?" she asked, fearfulness evident.

"Challenge _accepted_."

She clung to his shirt, folding her arms around his waist and staying there, breathing in his scent as the last part of the crying leaked out.

Barney knew what Robin needed. Sometimes, people needed to talk. Ted always thought that people, especially Robin, needed to talk their feelings out until everything was on the table, sorted. But Barney knew better. Talking wasn't always the best way. Like in this situation, where Robin was snuffling into him, shallow sobs draining into the early morning.

Today, Robin just needed to be held.

He held her close, using his physicality to keep her tight against him.

Barney realized that perhaps he did want children, now that he couldn't have them. Maybe some day, way down the line, one kid would be okay. He would like that.

Robin was right. Had she told him she was expecting, he would have been freaking petrified.

And it wouldn't have stopped him from kissing her belly.

He kissed her lips.

"I'm never going away." He pledged as a single tear formed in his left eye. He prayed that Robin didn't see.

"Hold me please."

To Barney, it was an instruction.

They were the legendary couple. The couple that didn't do feelings. That preferred to play laser tag, and smoke, than watch a romance film.

However today, they were the couple sat on the roof crying over something they didn't even want.

It was like a mourning period after a relationship. Even though the relationship isn't something you wanted to be, you still cry because it's a _loss._

A plane flew over their heads, and made a low hum.

"Let's stargaze," one of them said.

Which is how they came to spend the rest of the night trying to find constellations in the lights from skyscrapers. Robin sat and let Barney guide her hand to point out shapes, holding her all the time.

Despite the cold, she felt warm and heated. Because she had her Barney around her to keep out the cold, and she didn't need to pretend anymore. She didn't have to be strong and alone, so independent and un-reliant.

He wasn't _going_ anywhere.

Robin recognized that everything was going to be okay. The two of them, Barnman and Robin.

He would always be there to hug her.

That felt nice.

It felt _loved._

They fell asleep in each other's arms, beer abandoned, with a cold chill sneaking around them.

* * *

"Time to look." Tabatha interrupted Robin's train of thoughts.

Oh right. She had to look.

She snapped her mind away from that night. It had been one of the scariest things that she had ever done. Barney was the thing that had made it all okay.

She wanted Barney with her right now.

The stick contrasted wonderfully with the dark table. It was a bold white, screaming at her to notice it, to look at it.

But it wasn't just a stick. When she looked at it, she would know. She would know if she was pregnant.

Yet she was so_ confused_. She really had no idea what she wanted.

On one hand, she did not want kids. She did not want to give up her job, and her body, and her sex life to look after a baby. That had always been her policy, and just because she was married and in love, the policy wasn't necessarily going to change.

Most women wanted children, and Robin did not. She had always felt like she was wired wrong, because when she had to babysit, she never felt that overwhelming urge to protect. She lacked the maternal instinct, and maybe it was because she was infertile, and the universe was screaming at her that she would _not_ make a good mother.

But when she held Marvin for the first time properly, it really did feel exhilarating. Because she was doing it, she was holding the baby, and she wasn't dropping him or hurting him. Marvin had been content in her arms, and had happily stayed there for the rest of the evening.

That was when she discovered that she was capable of it. Yes, she wasn't a maternal person. But she could do it.

(She wasn't sure if she was talking about her ability to hold a child, or to raise one.)

If she held _her_ baby for the first time, one of her own flesh and blood, that had come from her and Barney, then just how exhilarating would it be.

It might be worth losing her perfect figure, and perfect slot on prime time TV for.

"Do you want to look?" Tabby asked tentatively. Robin gathered that she had been silent for a while.

"Yes." She said firmly, almost disbelievingly. As if she was appalled that Tabatha could even _suggest_ that she didn't want to look. "no…- I don't know."

Robin looked desperate. Then a thought occurred to her.

"Could you do it?" she asked, apprehensively, the same way she had asked Mike Tyson to pick Marvin up for her.

Because she was too afraid to do it herself.

"Sure." Tabby smiled awkwardly, not entirely sure if it was appropriate, but she didn't know Robin well enough to insist that she looked for herself.

Pressing her fingers together, Robin watched Tabatha attentively, trying to read her expressions.

"Shall I tell you?"

"_No_."

"Bu-"

"I don't want to know. I don't think I can know, because if I find out, and it's not what I want to hear, then I'm going to freak out. Look, I can't have kids. I know that. I don't need some stupid test to tell me that. Barney and I don't want kids, and that's that. I can't get _pregnant_. Taking this test is just fooling myself."

Tabatha glanced at the test again, battling to prevent a smile from creeping across her face.

"Are you_ sure_ you don't want to know?"

"Positive."

_Oh, the irony_…

"I don't want to be pregnant." Stated Robin, adamant in her stance. She took the test from Tabby's hand and walked over to the window.

"I don't want to be pregnant," she swore, to nobody in particular. Her eyes were shut as she threw the stick out of the open window.

"Then why are you crying?" Tabby said quietly.

"I'm not crying," Robin's voice wobbled, and she feverishly smeared the tears away from her eyes. Then she kept speaking.

"It's not like…- it's not like I want some perfect _miracle baby_ with blue eyes and little ringlets… for me and Barney to tuck into bed every night and count the stick on stars on their nursery ceiling…"

Her voice was high pitched. "pfft- _the worst_."

Luckily, Tabatha didn't recognize Robin's truth voice.

She moved over to the window, and gently hugged Robin. It didn't take a genius to tell that Robin wanted to be alone, or with her husband.

"I'm going to go. But ring me I you want to talk." She smiled earnestly at Robin, who snuffled before thanking her.

The second the door swung behind Tabby's yellow jeans, Robin let herself cry.

Similar to that night on the rooftop, she permitted tears to cascade down her face. Ugly and wet.

She flicked the kettle on and waited for it to warm up. Wishing that she had the courage to ask Tabatha what the results were. Yelling internally for not just looking at the test, and seeing if she was pregnant or not.

She wiped her face using both hands, and focused on a random spot in the kitchen to prevent any more tears from falling.

It was going to take one hell of a hot chocolate to smooth out _this_ day.

* * *

On the way out, Tabby saw Barney walking back to his apartment to see his wife. He almost didn't see her, as he was far too engrossed in the shoulder pad of his suit jacket.

"Hey Barney,"

"Oh… Tabatha, hey!"

"What's up with your suit?"

His face became more animated, and he angrily gestured to an area of material.

"It's pilling!" he explained mournfully, caressing the tiny thread that was coming out. "And all because some crazy girl in this building threw a pregnancy test out window."

Tabatha took a slug of breath, eyes slightly worried.

"Do you know who?"

"No." he said sulkily. "But Magnus here is _vintage_."

He pushed his door open, and muttered a goodbye to Tabby whilst entering the living room.

"Hey Robin,"

She immediately composed herself, checking her reflection in the microwave door to make sure her eyes didn't look too bloodshot. Once she deemed her reflection acceptable, she turned around to smile at him.

"Hey,"

He was _home_. She resisted the urge to run into his arms and weep, and managed to walk calmly over, and kiss him. His lips were friendly and familiar, making her feel surprisingly better already.

"You would not _believe_ the day I've had."

"Same here," Barney kissed her cheek again, not able to hold in the piece of affection.

"I mean," he began, in a way that agreed to be the start of a 'Barney story,' "a positive pregnancy test just wrecked _Magnus!"_

She froze, hand in his hair.

_Positive._

He hadn't noticed her joltily stop mid hair stroke. She could hear him talking, complaining further about the trials and tribulations of a destroyed suit. But she wasn't taking in the words; all she was thinking was positive, _positive_. The mantra repeated itself, filling her up until she could no longer contain it. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't.

She also couldn't tell Barney. Not yet. Not before she was _sure_. She needed confirmation, some solid proof that this was really happening. Tests were often wrong… Lily and Marshall's false alarm verified that. She refused to accept this as news, good or bad, until she had seen a doctor.

Even so, she had to kiss him. Her emotions were running unhealthily high after today and she _had_ to force her tongue against his, deep and frantic. She needed to feel their noses to knock as they made out, and to smile into the kiss. Because, for the first time in years, she was letting herself place a small amount of belief in hope_. _


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Thank you for all the awesome reviews! Please keep reviewing, because reading them really makes my day and inspires me to keep updating; hope you like this chapter._

* * *

The next morning, Robin had left immediately for the hospital.

She hadn't really wanted to tell Barney where she was going… and she hadn't even left a note to say where she was. In retrospect, it was selfish and unfair- just another thing that made her feel bad as she signed in under a fake name, Robin Sparkles.

Using that instead of her genuine name felt safer, somehow. Like any pain caused by the visit would be less _real_ if she didn't use her own name. Almost as though Robin Sparkles would be the one dealing with a possible pregnancy, not her.

And she still didn't know what she wanted.

The night before, she had felt hopeful, properly hopeful that she was pregnant. With Barney's protective arms around her, she seemed ready.

But sitting in the hospital chair and explaining to the stony faced doctor about her infertility, and the symptoms she had been experiencing, she just felt terrified and nervous.

(And in denial. _Always _in denial.)

She told him "So I guess it's kind of stupid."

It felt like the most serious thing she had ever experienced.

Absently, she stared into the cup of coffee-machine hot chocolate, trying to collect her thoughts. She reminisced a few occasions from the past month, when she was called back into the room.

Her feet trembled horribly as she took simple steps back to the room. She pushed the door open with her hips so that she could keep both hands around the cup; the heat from it kept her steady, and the mildly chocolate aftertaste was something to focus on. Better than thinking about sitting on that bench in 2011, clutching eggnog, rather than cocoa. It was funny how she always had a drink as her lifeline.

It wasn't a male doctor anymore. A pretty, redhead woman, in her mid twenties, stood smiling over a clipboard.

"Hello Robin, I'm Jill, and I'm going to be your doctor for the rest of today." She spoke kindly, in an accent Robin noticed to be Canadian.

She didn't say anything, though. Frankly, she was still too agitated to engage in normal conversation. More than anything, she just wanted to get back to _ordinary_ Robin, who hadn't been around much, recently, and was happy, made jokes., and would certainly have addressed a fellow hoser. Ordinary Robin didn't care about feelings, and _absolutely_ never thought about them. All the same, the past month or so, feelings were the only thing she seemed to be considering.

"So, am I right you are aware of your fertility issues."

Robin nodded. _How could she not be?_

"According to your files, and information from my colleagues, you were diagnosed by a hospital which didn't have a particularly reputable fertility specialist."

"Um, I don't know." She began, voice slightly raised. "I had a pregnancy scare a few years ago. My friend was pregnant anyway, so I just went to her doctor."

"And you weren't pregnant, you were falsely informed about your fertility."

"Yeah. It wasn't a great week for m- wait, _falsely_?" Something in Robin's throat gave a little leap.

"I'm sorry you were told you would never have a baby. I'm fairly confident those were the exact words you were given. See, as professionals, we never say the word _never_. I have to apologize on her behalf for that. She _should_ have told you that an unfortunate mixture of a slight genetic abnormality, along with inconsistent hormone levels, would make it extremely difficult for you to conceive."

_So it _could _happen, then?_ A voice in Robin's head piped up. She scorned it to shut up, tightening her grasp on the cup.

"What are you saying?" She tried not to be blunt, but she could barely help but sound rude and harsh.

"That under the right circumstances, pregnancy would not be impossible for you. It would be unlikely, so unlikely that we would have to tell you that you would _probably_ never carry a child naturally."

Her eyes flashed. Could she, or could she not have a family.

"_Probably,_ not definitely. Most hospitals share the policy of not telling a patient never, as there are often situations in which a couple are very lucky. However we do like to warn them that it isn't liable to happen… and discuss the other options. It was very poor judgment of the situation on her part to not talk to you about hormone treatments, and other ways we could help you to have a baby."

"I don't want a baby," she said quietly. She wasn't even sure she believed herself when the words left her lips. They were supposed to be strong, but even to her own ears, they felt meaningless.

"Well then, I'm not sure how you're going to feel about the next piece of news we have for you." Jill slicked a strand of ginger behind her ear, and flipped a page of her clipboard.

"You're pregnant, Mrs Sparkles." The young nurse smiled at Robin.

_Pregnant?_

She was going to have a baby.

It was _real_, it was actually happening.

Her insides were doing something funny, reacting with something Robin wasn't sure how to place. A sort of mixture of elation, and total fear.

She considered all the times she had been adamantly anti-baby. The times she had tried to convince Lily not to get pregnant. Or every, _single_ time she had shied away from holding an infant, or that time she let a baby _sniff _her because she thought she might get bitten.

Already, Robin felt like a bad mother. Because the women in those lifetime movies (which Ted and Lily merited,) were always _thrilled_ when they found out that they were pregnant. Robin had often found herself baffled by the look of utter delight on their faces- in her opinion, incongruous to the situation.

Now, she hoped she had one. She was sure that her current expression did not mirror such happiness. Did that mean that she was a bad mother, even now? Was she letting her baby down _from the freaking get go?_

"I..- I _can't_ have a baby," Robin's tone was flat. One of the last times she had said those words, they had been a desperate plea. Crying for help as she explained that there was no way in _hell_ that her life could factor in a child.

Then, there was another time. When she had sat in a pale trench coat, face motionless, processing the loss of her future children, as she was told never, _never_ would she have one of her own.

She gazed into the lukewarm brown liquid in the cup. She swirled it round and looked up, shaking her head.

"I don't think I can be a Mom!" It was an exclamation, but Robin said it almost silently.

Maybe the reason she had been feeling pregnancy was what she wanted was only because she wanted something unavailable to her. The only time she had ever really pictured herself with kids was after she had been told she couldn't have any. Now that she no longer wanted something she _couldn't_ have… she wasn't so sure if she wanted it anymore.

All the arguments she had ever made for why she was never having kids came flooding back.

You need to give up your body for them. It's not the gaining weight that bothered her- she thought that she could actually pull off the stomach that came with pregnancy. What bothered her were all the other things: swollen feet and fingers, puffy ankles, stretch marks, constant exhaustion. And it would surely affect her mentally, too. Lily had spent half her pregnancy confused, and the other half crying over next to anything. Robin didn't think she could_ stand _becoming so irritable that all her friends would hate being around her in the later months.

And her career. Her career has always been the most important thing to her. She can't be expected to just abandon it, but how can she possibly deliver the news with pregnancy brain, and a belly too big to fit behind her desk? Babies mean putting your life on the back burner. Your dreams, and your ambitions have to be put behind you. Robin didn't want that, at least, not _yet._

Even if she had always wanted kids, and had planned them, she certainly wouldn't be having them_ yet_. She would want to wait for a few years before trying- she and Barney had only been married for a few months anyway.

Then there was Barney.

In the midst of everything, she had almost forgotten about Barney. Shouldn't he have some sort of a say in this. The fact that right now, she was sat ignoring the important facts that she was being told, and instead focused on the foam patterns of her drink on the side of her cup, as she debated what she wanted.

She felt so selfish that it almost burned.

"So as I have explained, those are the options available, that I advise you look into. However, there are, of course, ways to cope with unwanted pregnancy. We are affiliated with many adoption agencies, clinics."

That pulled Robin out of her stupor.

"No." She looked up immediately, eyes wide and shocked. She had already put the drink down.

Give it up?

The notion was like a stab to Robin.

Adoption? _Abortion?_

Sure, she was allowed to be unsettled. After all, having never wanted kids, she was going to be frightened, uneasy. She was even allowed to wonder whether or not she wanted this.

But the idea of _somebody else_ raising_ her_ baby. Some stranger she didn't even know getting to snuggle up with the tiny thing developing, right now, inside of her. That would not be allowed. Not on Robin's watch.

"I can't give up my _baby_." She sounded firm, and her arm had subconsciously snaked around her abdomen, which she was stroking defensively.

"My baby." A tiny smile crept across her lips. _My baby._

Man, that was going to take some getting used to.

But she thought that she rather she wanted to.

Nobody else would get to raise her baby. Nobody was going to convince her to get rid of it.

Suddenly, she seemed to understand the urge to protect. Not all that well, and she didn't even understand her understanding. However she knew that she hated the doctor for saying, for even suggesting that about _her baby_. She never had believed in one sentence changing everything, but damn, she felt as though saw things differently now. Despite it being so nonsensical, she _knew_. That her pregnancy was going to be important.

She noticed her hand around her stomach. And she really didn't want to remove it, because it felt so _nice_ there. Nobody was going to hurt her belly, she decided. She resolved, almost in that moment, to add the baby to the list of people she would kill with her gun to save.

The baby was living inside her. It was her blood, her and Barney's. Thus, it was family.

She felt overwhelmed by memories of _her_ family, her mother, and father. Such a crappy dynamic for a child to grow up in; it was likely the reason she was so messed up. Her baby wasn't going to grow up like that, she vowed to herself in that hospital room.

Robin was still very scared as the nurse continued to talk about health options, safety options, food options (generally, an awful lot of options).

She still didn't want to give up her career, or her clothes, or become short-tempered, swollen and lonely whilst she was on maternity leave.

Yet she was sure that she could to it_. Screw it, Scherbatsky; you are one strong son of a bitch. You can kill a wolf with your bare hands._

_You _can_ have this baby. And _love_ it. _

Fear and doubts were still present in the back of her mind, and at the front of it, but she was beginning to feel more at peace. Then Jill was asking her:

"Will we be joined by the Father for your first appointment?"

"Oh..- yeah, yes… of course."

"Good. Very nice. We will want to see you in a few weeks, Robin. A general check up for you and baby. We want to make sure that nothing is wrong. From the blood-work, everything looks normal, but due to your fertility setbacks, it's important for us to check up on you. Now this won't be nice to hear, but your pregnancy is higher risk than most. Don't worry yourself too much, however we are obliged to warn you, like in every pregnancy, that there is a high chance of miscarriage during the first three months."

Robin gulped. She could loose it. She could loose it before she could even meet it.

Clearly, the distress had been present on her face, because the doctor had continued.

"In your case, you are actually nearly out of the first trimester, so there won't be much of a risk for much longer. Still, we would recommend you to tell as few people as you can, because there is still a chance of a problem occurring. As I mentioned earlier, I have some files here explaining further about the nature of your specific infertility condition. And these folders and pamphlets are all about pregnancy, and how your lifestyle will need to adapt. I trust you will give up smoking and alcohol?"

She mechanically nodded, but felt a sinking feeling. No scotch.

"Next time we see you, we hope you and your husband will be ready for your first sonogram. You will both be able to see your baby. Would you like that?" Jill spoke sensitively, noting that Robin would be inundated with information.

Another smile was evolving at the idea of seeing the sonogram. She drifted her eyes over her middle, and marveling over the fact that she was growing a little Stinson-Scherbatsky in there. And it actually felt quite remarkable.

God, she couldn't lose it. She couldn't give it up.

* * *

The thudding of raindrops hit the windows of MacLarens, splattering against each pane almost rhythmically.

Barney slowly brought his drink up to meet his lips, feeling the glass clink against his front teeth. He watched the rain falling against the glass, finding it weird for somebody like him to be drawn into something so mundane. It was sadly Ted-ish to be sat rain watching, something that would probably be recorded in aforementioned bro's dream journal. Or featured in a poetry based email entitled 'food for thought'.

He shuddered, whirling scotch around in it's container.

Robin hadn't been there when he woke up.

It was such an odd thing for him, now. For the most part of his adult life, he would loath waking up next to a woman. It was the sort of intimacy that had always sent him running, and that he had always regarded as hopelessly lame. When he first dated Robin, he had tried to clamber out of the window. His one-night-stand setting was hard to turn off.

After he proposed, and they got married, he found himself growing accustomed to the way it felt to see Robin first thing in the morning. Constructing and planning The Robin had taken him such a lot of patience. Nights after their initial engagement, he had been determined to have her curled up next to him, where she belonged, and where he could not let her go. Horribly soppy it may have been… but the way her lips felt against his, and the gentleness of her voice in the morning was what fueled his day. Not to mention what happened after the both of them were awake (what _up_).

So when he rolled over this morning, fully ready to see his Robin there, and for them to take part in some pre-work cavorting, it was unsettling to find her missing. He even surprised himself with how utterly empty it felt when she wasn't there. The door was open, and her bag was gone.

He _hated _it. He hated waking up to an empty bed, despite the way he used to cherish such detachment.

And he missed her, the feel of her skin.

Barney Stinson was _not_ one to be a clingy husband. He found nothing more pathetic than men who were totally whipped, or so needy that they demanded to know exactly where their wife was at all times.

Consequently, he refused to make a big fuss. He often scorned Marshall for the way he needed to be with his Lily-pad 24/7.

Although his chest jumped every time a brunette walked into the bar.

"And that is how the season premier of the new Woodworthy Manor kept us up _all _last night." Recounted Marshall smugly, his loud voice making Barney turn his attentions away from the rain, and Robin.

"Yeah. Totally." He grimaced, not really looking at the couple opposite. Lily was beginning to talk about a polo match between the Viscounts of something-dumb and Lords something-even-dumber. He shook his head. Real Americans didn't watch _Woodworthy Manor_. If Robin were here, then she'd surely agree- and she was _Canadian…-_

He was back on Robin. Magnificent.

By this point, it was quite late afternoon, and he hadn't heard so much as a peep from his wife. He didn't want to over-react, as there were a million and one reasons as to why she could be out. Then again, he didn't want to be so removed that he didn't notice if something was wrong. But of course nothing _was_ wrong. Robin was surely fine, probably just out, or got called into work. He wanted to forget about all the totally lame worrying, so was glad that Lily placed baby Marvin in his arms as she walked over to the bar. He instinctively supported the baby's back, and bounced him up and down on his knee.

"So dude, there was a totally wild kiss on the show last night," Marshall raised his eyebrows suggestively. Barney, however, looked pitiful.

"Marshall, I'm gonna tell you straight." He informed, arms curving around Marvin in order to reposition him, pleased with even Woodworthy Manor as a topic to distract him. "Nothing, and I repeat," he used Marvin's arm to point in mock accusation at Marshall, "_nothing_ about Woodworthy Manor is wild."

The taller man scoffed. "Oh my friend, _everything_ about WM is crazy wild." Regrettably, he used his renowned southern drawl.

Barney sighed, and brought the baby up closer to him, letting the infant wrap his small legs around Barney's front. "Your Daddy likes dumb shows." He shook his head in disbelief to Marvin.

"And you need your uncle Barney to show you some truly _legendary_ television,"

"Barney, you are never showing my son anything media related. Ever."

"But-"

"I'll second that," agreed Lily, setting herself back down in her place. Barney gave an exaggerated look of horror, and feigned outrage at this unfairness. Because how on earth could Lily and Marshall think that their offspring would not benefit from his awesome program choices.

He began to make some sort of protest, but it was cut off when Robin walked in. Everything else was forgotten.

It didn't take much to tell something was up. Admittedly, Barney sometimes found it hard to pick up on when Robin was feeling emotional; she was almost as stubborn as him when it came to hiding feelings. Right now, though, she looked so shaky that he wanted to just close his arms around her until she was calm.

Only, there was a baby in his arms.

Robin picked up on that straight away.

She couldn't be blamed for imagining that it was theirs. Especially now that she was carrying one. Her fingers lightly traced her lower belly, barely touching it. On the way here, she had felt so confident, so ready to tell Barney. She had been eager, excited to tell him. She had been so sure of his reaction, all gleeful hugging and kissing.

What if that was her selfish mind assuming something. All the time she had been contemplating how_ she_ felt about this pregnancy, but hadn't stopped to think about her husband. It was just as much his baby. He could justifiably be mad at her for not talking to him, as it had always been her that drove the "marriage means trust and no secrets" motto. And the thing Robin feared the most was Barney simply telling her he wasn't ready. Or running away from this.

She remembered how he had come to feel at the end of her pregnancy scare. Frantically begging her "you can't be pregnant." Remembering the urgency in his voice sent a little shudder through her. If he still felt that way…

Her gaze focused on him. Marvin sat comfortably as Barney held him, rocking him on his knee. He said something to the baby's ear, making him laugh adorably.

Robin wondered when she started finding baby laughter adorable rather than annoying.

She wanted Barney to make their baby laugh like that. And their baby was real. In her tummy.

"Can I talk to you outside please," She sounded weaker than she had intended. She attempted to flash Lily and Marshall a smile, but didn't do too good a job of it.

"Sure." Barney reacted instinctively. Then he started. "It's raining pretty bad,"

"Yeah, um- it's stupid, we can just sit here or somethi-"

"No," he said, almost too curtly. "lets go outside." His voice was as light as he could make it as he passed Marvin back to his mother, who looked increasingly concerned.

Barney placed his palm on the small of Robin's back and rubbed it, kissing her cheek and gesturing towards the exit with his other hand. She leant her head onto his shoulder.

* * *

Marshall and Lily's steps were a pretty familiar place to them. Too often, they had ended up here, and lots of memories were resting on the steps they sat on. It was the stupidest thing to Robin: a step holding memories. But it did. When they first dated, she had told him in a way that he, at least, understood, that she loved him. For the first time on that step. She had worn some floaty, sequined short dress, and pumps. He had kissed her gently, and thumbed her knee.

They had matured so much since back then, Barney still frequented strip clubs, and she still had some crappy job and wore flimsy outfits. They were both completely incapable of feeling secure in their relationship, and she was questioning taking it seriously.

Today, she wore trouser suits and blazers, and the only person he saw strip was her (and _often_).

He was undoubtedly the most important thing. And they were both entirely, and one hundred percent secure in their love for each other. All that had transpired, all the stuff the two of them had experienced had taught her that. Robin didn't need some stupid euphemism for telling him she loved him. Before, although she loved her boyfriend, she was still scared of committing to dating him, let alone marrying him. Having his _baby_. Barney Stinson, playboy extraordinaire, knocking up extreme baby-phobe Robin Scherbatsky was laughable.

However she was very much pregnant. And nowhere near as frantic or miserable as years-ago Robin would have been. She wanted her baby.

Simply because it was her baby. And even though their giant eyes had always perturbed her, she was happy to imagine the shade of blue that _theirs_ would have.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Barney smiled at her, although he sounded slightly stilted. The way he sounded when he was saying something profound, or emotional.

"Um…" She blinked, composing herself.

She had watched enough TV to know how people told others about a pregnancy that they didn't want, or wasn't planned. They would choke out the words; I'm pregnant, with a fearful look and often a layer of salt in their eyes.

She also knew from the first time she told Barney that she thought she was pregnant. The words had been sour on her tongue, and had she spat them out breathily. His reaction had been to comment on her weight, and her boobs, and she had punched him.

This was different, though, she reminded herself.

She didn't want to pressure him into having to lie about wanting it. But she didn't want to deliver the news like it was bad- she _wouldn't_ deliver the news like it was bad. She herself had grown up feeling largely unwanted.

From the off, baby was going to be good news.

Their baby, she reminded herself. This was their baby.

So she didn't even say the words I'm pregnant. Entwining her fingers in his, she focused on him. Her eyes locked onto his. They were so damn _blue_.

"I'm going to have a baby," She licked her lips, pupils quivering.

"Our baby." She confirmed. Although she had promised herself she wouldn't, nothing could contain the trembling smile that snuck across her face, extending to her eyes. They were lit up.

He didn't even say anything. His face was unreadable. Robin's thoughts reeled back all the times Barney had unyieldingly told the world he wanted to remain childless.

He could barely even process what was happening. A tiny part of him, the old Barney, wanted to pass out, or run away in that crazy, cartoon-like way.

Her smile stopped him. It was so hopeful. So beautiful.

Always, her smile could alter him.

"Do you," he glanced to her midriff "want it?" he was tentative, and had such a youthful vulnerability in his voice. And vulnerability was rare in Barney. Extremely rare.

Yesterday, she might have said no,- hell, a few hours ago she would have said no.

But after that doctor had presented the idea of giving the baby away. Or getting rid of her baby…

"Yes." She was giving little nods, smile widening with each word. Her voice then broke a little with a soft happiness that Barney had always found exquisite. "I want our baby so bad."

"I love you." His hand moved timidly towards her belly. God, he was freaking out. Inside, he was freaking out _so_ badly. He had prayed so many times that a girl he'd banged would not be pregnant, that please _lord_ they would not be pregnant.

He had sat and bitched about his mermaid theory, and how pregnancy was the ultimate turn off. Heck, Robin had endured enough of his speeches to know his views, which made him respect her even more. Telling him how much she wanted their child, which she sure hadn't wanted for most of her life, just because it was theirs. She had that look to her, which would generally take much longer to develop. It had taken her years to give him that look.

Something he couldn't quite place was stirring inside him. The woman he married, and loved, and adored, and broke all of his bro-code, womanizing rules for, was having their baby. The way she licked her lips, which were deliciously full, made him love her even more than he already did- like it was even _possible. _

He thought about how brilliant it had been for the group when Marvin was first born. With Lily and Marshall as parents. He loved that kid. A lot.

He was scared of how much he would love a little thing that was half him, half Robin.

"That's a person," he murmured incredulously, pressing her stomach. She bobbed her head.

"Our person,"

"Our _baby_," He one eyebrow and sort of smirked happily, tone slightly arrogant with satisfaction.

There was that delighted expression to his voice and face, the same one she saw when she said yes to his proposal.

Just hearing him say _our baby_ made her want to_ beam_.

He wrapped his coat around her shoulders, shimmying closer to her on the steps so that she was almost totally enveloped in Barney-ness.

His scent tickled her- cologne and smoke and love.

"What's with the coat?"

"Pfft- Sherbatsky, if you think I'm going to risk you getting even a freaking cold now that you are looking after the most legendary baby in the world,"

"A ledgenbaby" she cut in, unable to resist.

He looked at her, alarmed and proud.

"This- this is why you are the most awesome going to be mother of all time…- Of our legend-wait for it – baby." He gave her a mildly manic grin as he repeated

"ledgenbaby."

It was around 4 years after Robin 101, and he was here. Seeing that look of devotion and exposure on him, still, was quite overwhelming. Regardless of all the crap they had been through, the times she had broken his heart clean, and he had left her sobbing uncontrollably as she stuffed some form of comfort food into her mouth- he was here. Lily was right: they did have the kind of chemistry that didn't go away. And it was present, as they just gazed at each other like two loved up tweenagers.

She hadn't ever wanted him so much as right then. Not ever. She had spent years lusting after Barney. She had cheated on her boyfriend with him, the time she turned up at his house in lingerie, and the time she had been in a bright pink top, with her heart broken, leaning hungrily into his kiss. Even her wedding night. When they had literally done nothing but bang. (And then lay there, for a few minutes in between, spooning. She had listened to the beat of his heart, and he had played with the part of her hair. Together. Mr and Mrs.)

None of those times came close to how much she wanted him right then. Just to touch her. With that undeniable love that was there, that was still there. She was rather appalled by how much she loved him.

Needed him.

She kissed him. It was neither slow, nor intense and frantic. His tongue slid over hers as their lips shifted against each other.

There was fumbling as noses brushed.

Neither of them could particularly describe why kissing, an activity that they spent at least half of their lives enjoying, felt like such a novelty… but somehow it did.

It could be the fact that they were going to be a family. Kissing felt like like a rain shower, pouring in sudden bursts of elite ecstasy.

Barney knew that he loved the rain. He was going to spend the rest of his life in the rain, and he couldn't care less about getting wet (pun _intended_). She was Robin. _Robin_. Robin and Barney- Robin, Barney and _baby_.

Robin loved the rain, too.

She felt him trailing his arm around abdomen, melting his lips into hers. She ran her fingers over his suit, and dug her nails into it. She didn't have to stop.

Only for a second.

"You're an idiot, you know" her breath was hot against his face as she smiled fondly- yet somehow managed to maintain the passion of the kiss, the lust and the wonderful Robin air that made him such a fool for her.

He didn't even respond, merely leant down to kiss her belly. She had told him that's what he'd do, when she explained she was infertile. He wanted to give her that. She was Robin freaking Scherbatsky- she deserved the world.

He tried to replicate the face he had made all those years ago; the first time she had told him what an idiot he was. She had kissed him then.

She was kissing him again now. Like a drizzle.

Nothing mattered but the two of them, and Robin's stomach. Supporting their _ledenbaby_. And they were wholly oblivious to the fact that the real rain was soaking them… clattering around in big, wet droplets.


	5. Chapter 5

Robin looked at herself in the mirror. She was stood to the side, both hands on her flat abdomen. Slowly, she pulled her light grey shirt up and observed her profile.

She could hardly believe that she was actually _pregnant. _

During the past few weeks, she and Barney had done quite a bit of growing up. They had sat and talked, seriously, about all the plans for the baby. A flick through the we b babies catalogue had taught her that babies needed a great deal of preparing for. It was more than some cute toys and a crib. Baby-proofing your whole apartment was mandatory, not to mention bottles, and diaper-genies, and breast pumps and a whole load of other scary crap that Robin was pretty apprehensive about buying.

Plus, she may or may not have had a slight 'we can't be parents' freak out, which sadly resulted in her throwing up on one of Barney's most favourite suits: Perseus. But they had managed to reconcile after the suit-funeral (at which she had _cried_, stupid hormones), and they had spent the rest of the night eating ice cream and realizing that Perseus' noble loss was necessary for legenbaby.

She was allowed to feel _excited_. Unlike the last time, when she had been so angry, afraid and tired, she wanted to get ready for her baby. They hadn't told the group yet, and of course, there was still a chance of something going wrong. But Robin was out of the first trimester now, and so the major fears of miscarriage were gone.

And she was _so_ pleased they were gone. She wouldn't admit it, but she had spent a lot of nights not wanting to go to sleep. Although she knew it wasn't healthy to obsess, she just couldn't shake the fear that she might wake up to find her sheets soaked with blood and Barney's face pale and fearful. She felt like maybe if she just didn't sleep, it might not happen. She tried to blame her restlessness on morning sickness, but Barney knew better. He would make out with her until she was lying down properly, and hold her until she was asleep.

That was another thing. Spooning after sex, his arms always used to rest loosely on her outer thigh, but now they protectively sat on her stomach. Which was nice.

She hummed to herself, turning around again in front of the mirror. With slight guilt, she tried to puff out her stomach, imagining what it might look like if it was- no, _when_ it was rounded.

"Why Scherbatsky," Came a low voice from behind her, "are you examining your bump?"

_Crap._ Barney had seen.

Not that she was doing anything wrong… it was just embarrassing.

She quickly yanked her top back down. "No," she dismissed. She saw his reflection raise an eyebrow, so she repeated "no."

"You were too, you little minx,"

"Urgh- shut up," she folded her arms and looked down. Barney found this incredibly endearing, and walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"I think it's cute," he kissed her hair, enjoying the rather delicious smell. Apples, today.

"Did you just call me cute?"

"No," his voice dripped with denial, "um- no, shut up, you just called you cute,"

She turned around to kiss him, smiling as she did so. She whispered into his cheek "Barney Stinson thinks I'm cute,"

He scoffed dramatically. "Barney Stinson don't call no girl cute,"

He looked down at her unimpressed pout, and continued. "Anyway, wasn't somebody just puffing out her belly?"

Robin grimaced. Yes, she had been. "Okay, so I was puffing out my belly." She looked up at him, then back at her reflection. "It's just…" She smiled as she ran her hands over her middle. "I just feel like I'm ready."

"Okay, here we go." Barney grinned, kissing her again and moving his hands to unbutton her shirt, a feat he managed impressively quickly.

"No not for that,"

She wacked his hands away and admired herself in the mirror again. "I just feel like I'm ready to be pregnant."

Her husband looked at her quizzically. He didn't quite understand what she meant. His expression clearly showed this; because Robin went on to explain.

"It's just that I've always been so obsessed with my body being perfect. And when we thought-you know what-"she couldn't bring herself to even talk about their scare; it was sort of an unspoken rule between them. But he nodded, confirming that he understood, "I was so worried about my boobs and my figure and stuff." She paused to look at him. "But now I don't feel selfish like that anymore. Knowing that it's our legenbaby that I'm growing. I don't know, I'm just ready to be imperfect. It makes me not really care about gaining weight and stuff."

Her palm patted her stomach. "I kind of want a bump, y'know." She didn't make eye contact with her reflection. "I guess it's dumb…"

"Not dumb." Responded Barney. He moved her hands so that they were on his, and over their baby. "Kind of weird for a chick to want to get fat-"

"I am not getting fat." Robin glared. "It's a bump." Then she thought to herself for a minute.

Well, she would be getting fat, wouldn't she?

It was a sad truth, but she thought about all the many, many times Barney had explicitly described the horrific bodily abomination that was pregnancy. She remembered when Lily was having Marvin, and- oh _god_, the mermaid theory.

Barney had his mermaid theory. In which any woman, however repulsive, possessed a mermaid clock. An amount of time it would take her, a manatee, to turn into (in his words) a 'hottie'. Or, mermaid. And there was the reverse effect: pregnancy would revert even the most beautiful of mermaids to a big, lumbering sea creature as soon as a baby was on board.

"You're not going to go all mermaid theory on me, are you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, your not going to stop finding me hot once I get all… y'know." She looked extremely unconfident as she said "fat?"

"Robin, I-"

"No, seriously. I want to be confident with my new body. I don't want to be one of these women who go around complaining the whole time about how they look. I always used to see them and think _suck it up_. You chose that. At least give your kid the respect to be cool with your body. But if you don't find me hot anymore." Her lip quivered, as she was realized that he might not. "Then… that would be really crappy."

She could honestly have kicked herself for saying that. Being so insecure. Because of all the things she felt insecure about, her figure was not one of them. And yet there was Barney, who had slept with some of the most impressive girls he had ever seen. Sure, she never doubted that he loved, and was most attracted to her, but there were just so many flawless women. He had been able to have pretty much anything. There wasn't a single doubt in her mind about him cheating, but it would hurt to see him drooling over perfect-bodied bimbos, barely able to look at her anymore.

Damn hormones, again.

(It was_ definitely_ the hormones.)

"Listen Robin, the mermaid theory does not apply to you."

She wiped her eyes and gave him an inquisitive little look, as if to say _how so?_

"The mermaid theory is one of remarkable credibility. Bros throughout the ages have sung the praises of the great mermaidius theorem, as it was once called. Why, Jack Spar_bro_ himsel-"

"What are you getting at here?" Robin cut off what promised to be a rather long fake history lesson.

"Ah- what I mean to say is that even the greatest laws, from the sacred pages of the bro code itself, have exceptions. For example,"

"Breast feeding, I know." Robin sighed- it wasn't like he hadn't made that obvious. But she wasn't worried about after the baby was born, she could lose weight just fine. She needed to know how he felt about gaining it.

"Not breast feeding. See, for a rule, or theory to reach its highest potential merit, there most be a woman who surpasses it." He paused, pulling her even closer to him.

"You always surpass my rules," she offered a cynical look for his sappiness, to which he responded, "I ain't kidding. You even broke my new is always better decree, and I mean, that was hard…- _literally_."

She smirked.

"What I'm saying is that you will always be hot. I don't care about the whole gut thing. Hey- you could be the first fatty I ever bang!"

At this, she hit him. He didn't blame her.

"No, I mean it. It's strange… but- the idea of pregnant Robin _really_ turns me on." He pressed a kiss to the back of her head.

"So you're picking now to tell me you have some kind of pregnancy fetish."

He raised his eyebrow. "I have a Robin fetish. A really, really bad Robin fetish."

"You're a vile creature." She informed him as he bent his head down to brush his lips on hair, running his hands all over her body, touching her so _wonderfully_.

"And you're hot. Really, amazingly hot," his eyes grazed across her body, still with that same hungriness and want that had been there the first time they were together. "Look at these." He gestured to her chest.

"Pregnancy boobs. So _hot_."

He trailed his hand down to stroke one, but she swatted his hand away. His expression of confusion and partial outrage was so amusing that it cheered her up entirely.

"Despite being awesomely hot, they are also sore."

He kissed her, and felt her pulse increasing as he did so. She moved her hands up cup his face as the kissed, having rotated round to face him.

"You are going to rock a bump." He confirmed.

Of course she was. It was ridiculous that she had doubted it for even a second. Whilst he was kissing and sort of grinding into her, the notion that there was a version of Barney who was not insanely attracted to her was ludicrous. She couldn't imagine a universe in which _she_ didn't love being with _him_.

Later on, she planned to blame all her worrying on those pesky old hormones. In fact, it was certainly _his_ fault; after all, he was the one who impregnated her with feelings.

It was his fault that her heart was skipping, and their tongues were toying with each other, too.

* * *

About a week later, Robin finished work early. There wasn't much to report on, since the news that day had been prerecorded in one of the smaller studios. She had time to go visit Barney at GNB. It was late evening, and she had texted him so that they could go out for dinner. By now, she was nearly at his office door; his new one was self-locking, per request.

She was wearing a dark blue wrap dress. It was long, and had a high neckline- so was perfectly professional. Yet something about the way it clung tightly to her curves made her sure that Barney would just love it.

And damn, she was hoping that he loved it.

Recently, she had _needed_ him horrendously. And all the time.

Lily had talked about it when she was pregnant with Marvin, something about blood flow and hormones and ovaries…- she barely even remembered. Truth being told, Robin had tried to blank out a lot of Lily's baby talk, considering she had been told it wouldn't be a reality for her. In her head, she hadn't listened because she didn't want kids, so why would she care that pregnancy made you want to get freaky a lot. But really, she didn't want to listen because it hurt to know that she wouldn't ever experience it.

Only she was. And she, as Lily had warned her, wanted to spend all of her time having sex.

(Or eating. Or crying.)

But mainly having sex.

She wanted to go to talk to Lily, and ask if there was some way to uninstall these side effects. Except she knew that she couldn't, because a solemn pact had been made to not tell the gang about the baby.

Barney had agreed with her that they should not go around spraying the news onto anyone who would listen. Sure, they both adored attention, but there was still that niggling chance that she could miscarry. And although she was out of that problem first trimester, she wanted to be sure nothing went wrong before they started to celebrate.

Nothing would be worse than having everybody getting 'baby-fever', only for it all to come crumbling down. They had talked about it, and easily predicted what everybody would do.

Lily, being the insane Barney/Robin enthusiast that she was, would go completely overboard. A few days after telling her, she would have Robin sat drinking mint tea on a yoga chair, picking out teddies from the mamas and papas catalogue, and planning the eventual matrimony of her unborn child to Marvin (or any future Lilypad and Marshmallow progeny). Marshall wouldn't be much better than his wife, and would probably whip out some of his superstitious-crap-binders and start producing pie and bar charts with the odds of the gender, resemblance to either parent, and how long the labor would take- something Robin most certainly did not want to think about.

And Ted. Ted would transform into super-mosby mode. He might even rival Lily and Marshall, because it probably wouldn't take him long manufacture 'baby-stinbatsky' t-shirts and procure buckets full of fried chicken and mashed potato. His tendencies to enforce comfort food would probably end up with Robin gaining 10 pounds in one day, and she'd probably also gain lifelong membership to babies-r-us.

So, they had decreed that waiting was best. And it wasn't even because they didn't want their friends to do all of those things… well, it sort of was. Mainly, it was because Robin was absolutely terrified that something would go wrong. There was nothing she hated more than pity.

It was why she spent most of her life hiding from her emotions, and putting up a wall whenever she had a problem. She just hated dealing with them, not only because she was _horrible_ at dealing with them, also because she detested the way it felt to be pitied.

For the same reason, she hadn't told anybody about her infertility. She hadn't been able to bear the idea of everyone seeing her weak. Eventually, she would have to tell people if she miscarried, but not straight away. She simply would not cope with seeing everybody looking so shocked, and distressed, and trying to inundate her with comfort. When all she would be able to think about would be sobbing into a onsie that her legenbaby would never get to wear, and a teddy that her blue eyed child would never, ever play with.

That would suck more than she could begin to fathom. The word suck wouldn't even begin to cover how it would feel to lose this. It would _ache._

She couldn't be told 'never mind, there will be a next time'. Because there wouldn't. She hated to use that word, and she wasn't even sure she classed this as one, but her pregnancy was something of a miracle. The fact that one, particular time, Barney's swimmers had made her baby making parts work. This was her one chance. And if it got screwed up, there really wouldn't _be_ another chance for her…

Her worries were interrupted by the safeness of Barney's mouth on the nape of her neck, having swept the crimped waves of her hair aside. He turned her around, and planted another kiss on her nose.

"What are you doin' here Scherbatz?" his hand curved around her waist and led her through to his office, which he had clearly just left. He leant against his des with her stood in front of him.

"Nothing much, came to visit you." She smiled- but her voice shook.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Stupid hormones." She explained. "I really don't like hormones."

"I like them when they make you horny,"

"I like them when they make me horny, too." She moved towards him for a kiss, and his arms instinctively went to her waist, gripping her tightly and moving their bodies so there was no room between them.

"Horny Robin is my favourite," he murmured into her neck. He was beginning to grope her, smirking to himself as her breaths became shallower. She was quick with his tie, fumbling around to get it off, sinking her mouth quickly into his. Partly as a way to remind herself that nothing bad was going to happen to the baby, and partly because _damnit_, she needed him.

That was the thing about her erratic emotions at the moment; one minute she could be feeling anxious as hell, and the next deliriously happy.

Right now, she was horny.

"Need you," she stated, voicing what her body was screaming, regardless of the fact that seconds ago, she had been close to tears over possibility of miscarriage. Yet now all she felt was horrendous horniness, and the way Barney's hands were moving all over her. He seemed to be deliberately slow with her dress- grabbing at the material and kissing the sides of her arm where the dress stopped. This was unacceptable. He could play with the wraps of her outfit later, because now, _they_ were happening. If it suited him, Barney could be astoundingly quick, and rough, and it felt as though her logic was losing all control whilst he stroked her. She didn't need stroking. She needed _release._

Her fingers tugged on his hair, and she bit into his neck, telling him to hurry up.

"So impatient," he complimented.

He was about to free her of the dress completely, something she was longing for, when her stomach growled noisily.

"You hungry?"

"No." she panted.

But her stomach made a moaning noise.

"Seriously, we can grab som-"

"Damnit Barney just do me," she whispered, almost unable to speak. It was weirdly out of character for Barney to stop them doing stuff. This was Barney Stinson, for god's sake. Something had to be amiss for him to stop. She managed to compose herself for long enough to say:

"Why are you stopping."

"Because."

She gave him an accusing look, so he answered properly. He pushed her a small distance away from him, and ran his hands all over her shoulders and back as he spoke.

"Our sex is pretty much the best thing to exist." He looked at her. The most dominant section of Barney wanted to rip her clothes away and spend the entire week motorboating her. That dress was so tantalizingly tight, and fit her beautifully. So beautifully that it highlighted every dip and curve of her figure like a freaking dream, and he was this close to obliging her request and simply doing her, over and _over_ again until-

Pull yourself together, Stinson, he thought. Do this for the kid.

"But I have to take a hit, and think about one little Barney over another."

"What?"

"As in, little Barney the penis, and little Barney the fetus." He nodded proudly at this analogy.

"If you think we are nicknaming our _unborn child_ after your penis"

"Okay, so baby-barnacle?"

"Nope."

"bro-by?"

"Absolutely not."

"Stinbatsky?"

"That sounds like a disease." She pulled a face. "Stinbatsky syndrome."

"Sherbinson?"

"Sounds like an STD…" she paused to consider what type of horrific infection would be christened Sherbinson, then realized what her mind was doing. "And with that, the mood is killed." She sighed and adjusted her dress so it properly covered her.

"Anyway, the point of stopping was…-"

"That you are clearly hungry. Legenbaby getting a full meal is more important than you getting filled…- something which will certainly be happening later,"

"Not with that attitude" she muttered darkly, to which he winked. Far too suggestively, but she couldn't help herself chuckling under her breath. Come to think of it, she was pretty hungry. And Barney was right, the kid had to take priority, even over sex. The fact that freaking _Barney_ thought making sure their baby was healthy, and her body got what it needed, even if _his_ had to wait to get what itneeded- well, it showed how far he'd come.

She wanted to dwell on that moment of respect for her husband, but her stomach was groaning again, and was beginning to sound something like a dying whale. This wasn't sexy by anybody's standards. Straightening her skirt and joining him in leaning against the desk, she snaked her arm around him. Her hand was inside his suit jacket, holding his actual waist.

"It _is_ kind of annoying that my current personality is so hormone driven. I literally have two major traits. _Two_. And they are horny, and hungry."

"So you could say that you are… _horngry_."

"You could say that you're an idiot."

"Exclusively your idiot," he grinned to her lips as she wacked him with a folder from his desk.

"_Ow,"_ Barney complained, in mock horror. "Jeez, Preggers. This is not the way to treat your baby-daddy."

"Did you just call me preggers."

His eyes widened, realizing the mistake. Robin detested nicknames, though she _was_ becoming much more accustomed them; he knew she loved it when he called her Scherbatsky. But preggers, was probably too far.

"So, are we feeling tacos, or…"

"I cannot believe you just called me preggers."

"I know this amazing new Mexican place that does this cool thing with dips, it'll be legend- wait for it-"

"Oh you'll be waitin' for it. Call me preggers and you are never getting laid again."

Something in Barney's eyes seemed to light up, in a way that shrieked challenge accepted.

"Let's not make promises we can't keep." He whispered near her hair, breath hot and heavy against her cheek. She began to wonder if it was physically possible to have breath that hot. Barney's mouth was such a high temperature that she wondered how many bimbos may have gotten burned on it. But she herself still wanted the burn, the heat- even when she was frustrated with him.

"You're right. I could never keep that promise." She smiled as those wonderful, heated lips touched hers, and he started showing her, for the second time that night (and eighth time that day), just what a mouth of such catastrophic temperatures could do- when the rumbling of her belly forced them apart again.

"Damnit, appetite." She moaned, breaking apart from the kiss and holding her breath in some sort of failed attempt to stop the arousal. "Okay. Let's go get those tacos right now before I jump you."

He pecked the top of her head and slung an arm around her, mildly protectively.

"Sure. Although I can't wait to get to the jumping later on," his pupils flickered like a small child deliberating disobeying a parent. Then he whispered naughtily, "_preggers_."

The folder hitting was relentless.

* * *

The next morning, strong hands supporting her back, and kisses all over her neck, awoke her. For a moment she didn't even want to open her eyelids. Barney's tongue was blissful, and she was so comfortable in the cozy warmth of their sheets. The duvet was a shield from the outside, and she wished that she could stay coddled in it for as long as possible.

Robin Scherbatsky was tough; she always had been. A strong Canadian citizen never felt the cold, and never succumbed to the laughable American fears of any temperature below average. Furthermore, she was in no way inclined to enjoy socially obligatory romantic stuff, like staying in bed all day to snuggle. If she and Barney were staying in bed all day, something else would be at the top of _their _agenda.

She might, perhaps, blame it on the pregnancy. The fact that she had an American forming in her stomach, so it was totally acceptable for her to want to stay bundled up in pillows, blankets and Barney's arms for the rest of the day. That was the baby, and not her.

And surely she should listen to the baby. Therefore snuggling was very agreeable.

Her eyelids fluttered open in a daze, and one of his legs was stroking one of her legs. She loved the feel of his body around her. She loved the tiny amount of morning stubble that brushed the soft bits of her cheeks, and boobs, when he kissed them. The tiny little things that nobody else ever got to see about Barney.

Everybody else only saw the bravado. The slick man in the suit, who joked, and often acted like a complete jerk. Nobody else ever got to see sensitive Barney. Who held her and kissed her like she was the single most important being on the planet. So many girls had been with him, but not a single one, not even Nora or Quinn, and been with Barney like she had.

It wasn't even the big, romantic things that she loved about him. She would be expected to say that she loved the way he made her feel loved, and the way he would do anything for her, or always knew exactly what to do.

But it was _Barney_, and he made so many mistakes. So often. And yet it was his small imperfections that made her love him so much. Almost unnoticeable things that none of the gang, none of his exes, and none of his sluts ever picked up on.

Like the tiny pair of freckles on his left ankle. The way he moisturized his face every day, and had a weekly scalp check. The disgusted expression he would give if his orange juice had pulp. He would never tell anybody that he hated pulp; he would simply make a sort of pout and stubbornly refuse to drink it.

He had a smattering of chest hair that he tried to shave, but he always missed the exact same bit. It was fine, and gold- and very slightly curly, which Robin enjoyed way too much to point out to him, because she knew he would want to shave it off.

And the way his early morning stubble felt against her when he woke her up. That was her favourite little thing. He smelt like musk. Even in the mornings. And if she ever complained about his vain rituals, she would stop herself when she felt the gentleness of his lips and face sliding over her collarbones, and then up to her lower lip.

"Morning, preggers." He mumbled. She grumbled in complaint, kissing him back and shifting closer to him, wrapping the quilt around the both of them so that they were in a makeshift _nest_ of warmth.

She didn't even bother to protest the nickname because she was so sleepy. It was Saturday, and although they had planned to meet up with the gang at the bar, she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep whilst her face was inches away from Barney's. Their noses were almost touching, and that hot breath was on her face again.

She playfully bit his nose, not hard, then nestled her head into the crook of his neck. For a while, he brought his hand up to stroke it. Back when he was first in love with her, and she didn't even know, stroking her hair felt like the guiltiest of pleasures. Touching was a perfect novelty. And years down the line, they were married, and having a baby, and he could touch any part of her whenever the hell he wanted.

It felt exhilarating, sometimes.

Robin was _Robin_. She was the dream. And now, well, now she was kissing sloppily at the patch of shoulder her lips were nearest, lazily tracing lines up and down his back with her fingers before they were even fully awake.

In times like this, Barney wondered why the hell he had always been so opposed to cuddling.

Cuddling was legendary when your other half was Robin.

He was about to make some sort of a move, when his wife's stomach gave an impatient grumble, which Robin herself soon replicated.

"Babies are needy." She whined, not moving her head from their hug position. "And damn, this kid is hungry like _all _the time."

"You want me to go get breakfast?"

"No. I'd better go, if I don't then I'll end up back asleep." She made a noise of distaste as she freed herself of the covers and swung her legs round to sitting. She was in her black underwear, having not bothered to put pajamas on when they got home from dinner (and other… events of the amorous variety). Rubbing her eyes, she hauled herself to standing and padded across the bedroom to the door. As she walked, Barney made some sort of squawk.

"What?"

"Stay there."

She sighed, and turned to face him, standing in the same spot.

"Here?"

"No. No. Go back to profile." She did as instructed, and watched as her husbands entire face broke out into a grin, eyes bright.

"You little minx." He smiled, shaking his head and getting up to stand with her. She shrugged to him, shooting a look that demanded an exclamation. He turned her so that she was facing their bedroom mirror.

"You have a baby bump."

"Eh. It's probably just a taco belly." She tugged at his arm, wanting breakfast. "I did have a pretty big dinner."

"You most definitely have a baby bump." Barney smoothed his hands over the small, but unquestionable curve of her belly.

"Wha- pff- no I don't." She squinted into her reflection, and then looked down. She joined her hands on Barney's. "Do I?"

He looked so contentedly at the mirror, and at his gorgeous wife… and that little belly that held their baby. Their actual baby _person_. Who was _growing_. Getting bigger. A genuine look of happiness appeared on Barney's face, and his voice was thick as he assured her "Yeah, you do".

"I do, don't I." She sensed emotions building up, and she smiled down at her bump. It made everything so real, but it didn't scare her. Honestly, she had been faintly concerned that, despite being an exciting thing, her body really undergoing those changes might make it seem all too scary. But it absolutely didn't. She just felt so much love.

She gave it a little rub. "Huh."

"You still look smoking." Barney verified with a soft kiss against her shoulders. "Have I ever told you that I love your shoulder dimples?"

Robin looked bemused, hands still firmly clutching her abdomen. "You've told me how you love my boobs."

"You have these little shoulder dimples." He explained, skimming his lips across one. "I love them."

"I love my bump." She said quietly, both of them knowing that by bump, she meant baby.

"I think I wanna tell the group. Like, soon, maybe."

"Me too."

"I mean, there's only so long we can keep it secret now. We can hardly go into hiding until you pop,"

"Woah. Insensitive, much. I hope you realize that legenbaby will not be popped." She glanced at him suggestively, licking her lips.

"Although, elaborate lies still turn me on."

"Oh yeah." He was so desperate to touch her; she was standing in her freaking underwear, and officially had the best body in the world. If it weren't for the whole significant-life-milestone thing, then he would be salivating over her right now. And damn, her boobs were spilling out of that bra. The dark lace contrasted against her skin, creamy and pale. His teeth wanted to meet it.

Her stomach gave another growl of protest.

"Legenbaby really knows how to flatten a mood,"

"And make me super horngry all the damn time."

"We'll ground it when it's born." He promised, lightly caressing her.

"Sounds like legit parenting skills. Grounding your baby for cockblocking from the womb."

"Inspired-parenting five!" He exclaimed, and she was in such a great mood that she reciprocated, and then kissed him quickly.

She was about to lead the way to the kitchen, but he stopped her. He sunk to his knees to kiss her newly recognized bump. The tickle of that beloved stubble against her tummy gave her butterflies, and she tried to imagine what kicking would feel like.

She heard him muttering something into her belly button, which was obscure even for him.

"Whatcha doing there B-man?" she questioned. She ruffled his hair a tad because it was at just the right height- and looked so touchable. He looked up at her indignantly, as though she had interrupted something hugely important.

"Robin, I am having some quality time with legenbaby, and I'd appreciate it if you left us to talk."

Robin scoffed. "Right."

"Seriously. I am talking with my unborn child." He paused to look at her incredulous expression. "You are not invited."

"Barney, what the hell, it's in my womb for god's sa-"

"Robin, just, okay. _Okay_." His eyes rolled pleadingly, and she made sure to let out an exasperated sigh before jutting out her belly, and mumbling '_fine'_.

He took about 5 minutes just knelt there, speaking. Then he stood up, kissed her, and gestured towards the door.

"Breakfast, _preggers_?"

"I hate you."

(She loved him).


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Hello lovelies. Sorry that it's taken me so long to get this chapter up; I've had pretty much the worst writers block ever. I think at one point I just deleted about 3,000 words. But here's the next chapter, and I hope you all enjoy it! I'm going to be updating weekly after this, since I actually have a good idea of where I'm going with the plot now. Next chapter we get an ultrasound, which should be fun to write. (I say that now, but I'm hugely lazy, so….)**_

_**This chapter gets a bit more insight into Barney's POV, which is probably OOC because I'm me and my characterization is fviweqdwifhougrfejdksg… but I loved writing more Barney bits. There will be more. I have decided this **_**( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°)**

_**But please keep the reviews coming, because each new one really motivates me to stop procrastinating and keep writing. Seriously, every single one makes me smile, and I read all of them and they cheer me up so much. So I'll shut up now and here is the writing- and a++ if you read all of my ranting. :)**_

* * *

Barney found himself trapped in a honeymoon period when it came to Robin's pregnancy. Only, the funny thing was, it didn't feel at all like being trapped. He ordinarily found any type of serious commitment to stifle his very being… but as always, Robin was different. Instead of feeling that burning desire to preach that families were a terrible mistake, and a baby on board was a death sentence to a relationship, things with him and Robin where better than they'd ever been.

She was beautiful. Every time he saw her she was beautiful, even throwing up because (according to her) 'butterscotch is disgusting now', she was darn beautiful.

The old lifestyle of banging some random blonde chick, downing a lot of scotch, smoking during laser tag, and trying to kid himself that he didn't still have feelings for a certain brunette, didn't seem all that legendary to him anymore. Not when he had the _real_ brunette curled in his arms kissing him, and they were shopping for tiny suits and Armani strollers.

Having a baby didn't mean that they had to conform and become farmers market loving shot-ins… that moped around baking cookies and watching reruns of some lame documentary. They could parent the awesome way. He was determined to spoil that kid so damn much, and even though Robin had said no to buying a crib made of gold- although he still didn't see how that was 'ridiculous'- he knew she also didn't want to change themselves too much to become parents.

And he knew she was going to spoil it. Last week, he had seen her leafing through a catalogue and circling out a very obnoxious baby-safe hockey costume, complete with a foam stick suitable for newborns.

Most days were spent laughing, eating, and banging; Robin's horngryness had certainly not gone away.

Brunch with his wife became one of Barney's favourite things. She would smile as she ate pancakes, and they would debate the American/Canadian-ness of their developing offspring. Everything Barney said would make her snort into her cup of orange juice. All the while, her hand never left her middle.

He was utterly enamored by her bump. She refused to by maternity clothes (she was sure that Lily would recognize the brand immediately), so her outfits clung to her, outlining each curve of her figure far too well. He loved to watch her move. Cackle manically at his jokes, stuff too much breakfast into her mouth in one go.

He loved the Canadian lilt that draped itself over her voice whenever he brought up the 'legenbaby will _so _be an American" discussion. And the way she kissed him hungrily, not hiding any part of how badly she wanted him.

He was still slightly in awe of how much he loved her, and how openly obsessed with her he was. The last time he felt so hopelessly smitten was that time after the bus accident, when he first realized how much Robin meant to him. He had always been so positive that she would never take him seriously, that a woman as freaking flawlessly awesome as Robin Scherbatsky would never see him as more than a pervy bro she hooked up with that one time.

Except she was married to him, and pregnant, and loved him and the baby so damn much that she completely let her guard down, something he knew all too well was extremely difficult.

And when she ate breakfast in those tight clothes (which highlighted her boobs brilliantly), he actually found himself focusing on the way her eyes glinted as she brought her spoon to her lips, and the way the apples of her cheeks where more noticeable now, and that they looked highly kissable when she smiled.

It wasn't _lame._

Absolutely, under no circumstances, would Barney Stinson participate in anything lame.

(Besides. There was no way it was lame if they had legendary brunch-makes-Robin-horngry sex afterwards.)

* * *

"I think we should tell everyone today." Blurted Robin over one of many breakfasts.

Barney looked at her poignantly. He studied her stuttering over air as she looked at him expectantly.

Yesterday, she had said that 'today was the day.' And the day before. Actually, it had been weeks, come to think of it. They kept deciding to make the big announcement, and then back out at the last second- as if to think _it's too soon_. _We're not ready_.

Surely it was okay to want to stay in that little bubble for a bit longer, right?

Wrong.

Robin began to think that it might, perhaps, be more than just not wanting to exit that private intimacy of just them knowing.

At first, she had been somewhat scared. Scared of finding the right moment to tell the group, still not fully confident that nothing would go wrong. She still couldn't shake the suffocating feeling that if they told all their friends, and engaged in that happiness that would come with preparing for the baby, the universe would stop it.

After all, when had she set much store by the universe? This would be a fine time for it to prove to her that it existed, and it was very much capable of messing things up.

Barney had promised her that it was stupid, and that it would all turn out fine. Yet each time they prepared to tell their friends, something would come up. Ted would have a riveting work story to tell. Lily and Marshall would be talking about work, or Marvin, or 'that lame British show'. Robin realized that they were looking for excuses to keep it a secret, and whenever there was a break in conversation, they would each give the other a nod, but wouldn't say it.

Neither of them _wanted _to say it. Tabby would break the awkward silence by making some food on the table sing, and the attention would be diverted away from them, and it would all be okay again.

But, as it turned out, they didn't need to make the announcement at all.

They had been at the bar on a Friday night. Marshall, Lily, Ted and Tabby were all ridiculously hyped up for the penultimate Woodworthy Manor episode. Barney's arm was draped firmly around her as they determinedly ignored everything that their friends were saying.

Although, Robin did notice Tabby smiling smugly to herself as Robin sipped her non-alcoholic beer.

"And so then Lady Margret got engaged to this horrible guy called Sir Richmond, and I said, Marshmallow, that's never gonna last. Because, Lady Margaret belongs with her cousin Mark Crawler,"

"Wait wait wait…" Barney cut in, stroking Robin's bare shoulder lightly; her dark green shirt had little triangular cuts across the shoulders to reveal a hint of tanned skin. "So you are telling me that Woodworthy Manor has _incest_?"

"Barney." Lily gave a disgusted expression.

"Weird English historical dramas featuring incestuous relationships are not cool." He paused. "Unless she's hot."

The whole table groaned in unison.

"Is Lady Wood-sucker hot, Lilypad?"

"_Lady Margaret_ is both _classy_ and attractive," Interjected Ted. "But no more than my Tib-Tabs." He leaned across to kiss his girlfriend with a broad, yet utterly sickening, smile.

More groans.

"What is it with you guys and nicknames." Robin sucked her lip and shook her head. "You all make me nauseous."

Barney nodded in agreement.

"Our greatest apologies, ice king and queen." Lily jibed playfully, raising an eyebrow.

"Anyway, everything makes preggers here nauseous these days."

Robin froze. Marshall's eyes bulged. Ted nearly choked on his drink, and Lily let out a squeak.

The whole group looked at each other, signaling wildly at Barney's slip up. He looked apologetically towards Robin, who was glaring at him incredulously.

Then, she stopped glaring.

A huge weight had just been lifted off of her shoulders.

"A…-are you…" Lily's left eye was twitching with excitement.

Barney was grinning. Robin looked down into her bottle, and tapped the side of the glass with her fingernail. For a second that felt like an age, she listened to the echoing sound of that tap.

She looked up.

Barney nodded encouragingly.

"Yeah. I'm pregnant."

She was pretty sure that Lily's woo might just have deafened her developing fetus.

"Think of the little ears." Barney winced, prodding his wife's belly.

"Is that a baby bump I see?" Cooed Ted.

Lily thrust herself upon Robin, hugging what felt like every inch of her friend.

"You're gonna be a Mom." She whispered into the dark curls, swaying rapidly as she nearly cut off Robin's windpipe with the enthusiasm of the hug.

"MIRACLE." Marshall slammed his bottle down onto the table, getting up to join the group hug that was forming, choosing to ignore Robin's irritated mutter of _"not a miracle."_

Lily probed Robin into standing up so that she could properly examine the swell of her middle.

"I can't believe that there's a little Barney and Robin in there." Her voice became more animated. "What if it comes out wearing a suit!"

"And there was us just thinking you got really late relationship gut." Marshall chipped in brightly, bringing his hands to join Lily's. Robin's expression became stony, nostrils flared.

"Did you think I was-"

"Um, no. Absolutely not I mean…- why Robin. Is that a new hair cut…"

"Emperor penguins?" suggested Ted.

"Hey, baby." Barney got Robin's attention. "An emperor penguin babygro!"

"How cute would that be?"

She found herself easily distracted, imagining a laughing, blonde boy in a tiny penguin costume, blue eyes glinting. Somehow, her brain automatically assigned their baby male gender. It just seemed right to imagine Barney with a boy- a miniature bro. She saw herself there also, with Barney, blowing raspberries on his little nose.

Telling the gang hadn't made things scarier. It had made things feel more real.

"We can go shopping for MATERNITY CLOTHES TOGETHER!" Realized Lily, tapping Robin and Tabby.

"We can totally do that tomorrow. I know this place that does the cutest dresses, totally in style. And the whole department store does baby stuff too…- we could all go shopping. I mean, it's a pretty classy place, kind of expensive so Marshall didn't let me buy all Marvin's stuff there, because apparently a baby didn't need those indigo suede boots but he totally would have benefitted from them"

"_Lily,"_ Marshall eased his wife by patting her shoulder. "Too many totallys in one sentence."

"Heh… right."

"But we_ should _all go! We could help you guys pick out some t-bears. Teddy bears, I mean…sorry, you guys know how I abbreviate words when excited. "

"Congratulations guys." Tabby smiled, reaching across to squeeze Robin's hand. The taller woman reciprocated the smile, feeling hugely grateful to Tabby for keeping her secret. After all, she had only known Tabatha for a couple of months, yet she already felt like family.

Ted had better not break up with this one.

On a separate note, Robin was relieved by Ted's reaction. Less than half a year ago, Ted had been head over heals for her. Who was she kidding, he'd been head over heals for her since the very first time he saw her, and had so inappropriately told her he loved her on the first date. The reason _they'd_ broken up was because she didn't want kids. Or marriage. It hadn't been a problem with him; it had been what _she_ wanted. And now here she was, married, and pregnant with his ever-the-bachelor best friend's baby. Ted had a right to be jealous, and angry, and even blame her. But he didn't.

It had taken eight years, but Ted, with his arms wrapping Tabby into a smiling cuddle amidst the celebration, finally looked happy. He had found the person he truly belonged with, his other half- and he seemed to have completely accepted that his other half was not Robin.

Robin herself was so glad. She was grateful that Ted didn't resent her for breaking his heart so many times over.

Hell, her own heart had been broken enough.

Not that it really mattered now, though. Barney's hands on her gave a sense of solidarity, and she hummed happily as the group continued to celebrate and make shopping plans for the next day.

* * *

That was how they found them selves outside a huge department store for baby stuff dead on the 9am opening time, with a beaming Lily in tow.

"So are you guys excited to start preparing for the little bundle of joy," she cooed quite ridiculously, Robin thought. She sucked her lip in and shot Barney a look. He too appeared bemused.

"I'm ready to start preparing for my second breakfast."

"Horngry again?"

"You know it." And then his face seemed to be all the more tempting, and she was leaning up to it, ready for another kind of second breakfast…

"Guys we are in public." Reprimanded Lily, tugging Robin away from Barney. Then she glared menacingly at the latter, grabbing his tie.

"And you." Her eyebrow cocked. "Keep it in your pants."

Robin sniggered.

"Don't think you're off the hook. We need to get you some pants that you can keep in."

Robin grinded her back teeth at this comment, but knew Lily was right. This morning, it had been a real struggle to find anything that fitted her. Her boobs spilled out of most of her shirts (not that Barney was complaining), and her pants wouldn't zip up. Or button up, for that matter. When she finally managed to squeeze into a leather skirt, Barney had immediately undressed her because 'her ass looked good.'

They would have happily stayed in bed all day, but the annoying beeping of texts from Lily forced them to get up and out to the store. After all, Robin did want something to wear for work; now that the remaining skirt she could get in had been carelessly ripped by Barney.

Initially she hadn't expected this shopping trip to take more than an hour or so. Pick up a couple of new things, maybe get something cute for the baby. But upon entering the store, and being joined by the mob that was Marshall, Ted and Tabby, she realized that they would most likely be spending the day there.

"Jeez Lily, this is let's go to the mall for baby stuff." She glanced around, hardly able to take in the amount of things. Her eyes were inundated with blue and pink- plus the sound of screaming children, and more fluffy things than she had ever seen in one place at one time.

It made we b babies look like a shack selling second hand comics. And this place was freakin' comic con.

"I think I'm gonna throw up." She informed the group.

"Aw, morning sickness?" Offered Ted, playing absently with Tabatha's hair.

"Nope."

More the fact that the sheer pitch of the crying children around them was setting in how real this was… and dear god what maniac buys a kid a toy rabbit the size of a car?

Now, Robin knew that this didn't change how she felt about her pregnancy. She and Barney were resolute in the fact that this was a good, happy, awesome thing for them. Nothing was going to change that. But there was still that part of her that was adjusting- the part of her that had never wanted children, and spent the majority of her adult life cultivating a long list of 101 reasons why she did not want to procreate, thank you very much. That part of her felt like this was all too much right now.

"Robin, come with me and let's get you some new clothes… and then we'll all go to get some stuff for baby…" Lily observed Barney's prompting eyes, and rolled hers. She grimaced. "_Legen_baby."

The first hour wasn't bad. It was just like normal shopping, only having to take into account being pot-bellied. But she wasn't going to lie, she kind of liked the attention, and Lily's input actually was helpful. Robin didn't know much about maternity shopping. Lily helped to pick out a number of outfits, some for work, some for leisure, some that hid her bump so that it wasn't even visible, and others that flaunted it.

Then, however, the conversation got extremely boring. Much as she loved Lily, and wanted her to get involved, the endless torrent of baby talk was tiring her out. She glanced over to Barney, who was looking extremely bored as he fiddled with a maternity bra.

Currently, the rest of the group was discussing teething rings, despite the fact that the couple having the baby was disinterested in the conversation. Darting her eyes around to check that nobody was watching her, she slid away from her pile of clothes and over to where Barney was playing with the bra.

She looked at him, and it was evident from her eyes that she was saying 'wanna get out of here?' He nodded, thinking _thank god for that_ as the two of them subtly glided away from the group and made a beeline for the toy department.

"Super glad we got away from that."

"Agreed." He was about to say something else when he turned around and noticed what they were leaning against.

"Oh my god Robin puppets." He reached to pick up a cute dinosaur. His gaze fell upon another animal, though. A beaver.

"Are those beavers." Robin's face lit up as she grabbed them both a beaver toy. She slipped her left hand into one and felt the tickly feeling of its fake fur on her palms. Chortling, she handed Barney the other one to put on, and he 'reluctantly' did so- she could see that he secretly loved it.

"Hey Robin. How's your beaver?"

"How's your beaver Barney." she moved her beaver so it was next to Barney's. "I never thought I'd be saying that."

Barney's expression was incredulous, but he quickly retaliated by humming the beginning of 'two beavers are better than one.' He was grinning wickedly, and began to bop his head from side to side.

"Hey beaver come on." He looked at her daringly. "When you feel alone. Come on Robin's beaver. Just pick up that phone…."

Robin gritted her teeth. "And I'll be there to share my ice cream cone."

"We'll lick it side by side." He brought his beaver over to do something unacceptable to Robin's toy beaver crotch. She sighed.

"So this is what it's come to. We are two grown ass adults, with a kid on the way, and we are playing with stuffed animals."

Barney appeared slightly subdued, and moved his beaver away. He put on a funny voice to say 'sorry' with his beaver, which nuzzled Robin's cheek in apology. She didn't even try to keep a straight face.

The two of them were closer together now, and they were sharing one of those creepily intense eye battles for a while. Barney licked his lips, and breathed out.

"Wanna go play with a bunch of toys."

She genuinely noticed her pulse increase.

"Hell yes I wanna play with a bunch toys." She muttered, surprisingly erotically, as they both shared a moment of tension filled eye contact before tearing off in search of games.

At first it was just a match of hungry hungry hippos. Then a game of swingball. Then Barney drew boobs on a giant easel with chalk, and Robin had to rub it off before an assistant saw. Then they found some crazy superhero masks with noises, and a darth vader voice battle ensued.

It actually got to the stage where they very nearly stole a lego set from a small child, when Robin realized that said child was crying.

_Crap._ Crap, crap, _crap. _

She did not know how to deal with this, and dear lord what if she upset it more. But it seemed that none of the other adults around were paying much attention to it. A kid of a few years older paraded past the chubby, upset toddler, and trampled over his hands in the process.

Normally Robin encouraged calling nerdy kids nerds. But she was _not _one to idly stand by and watch this brat treat the other kid like this. Considering she was pregnant, she was going to have to learn to be caring. She nudged Barney and gestured to the kid.

"Um…" she patted his back somewhat awkwardly. "Are you okay there?"

He was sat miserably on a beanbag in a sort of kiddy play area that Robin and Barney had arrived in (it certainly beat the mundane maternity clothing department).

"I'm lost." He told them. He wiped his eyes with a tiny hand and a rather soggy blanket.

Robin's instant reaction was to say 'so?' However she refrained, and stood up with Barney. _Damn, Scherbatsky. You are going to be a mother. Act maternal._ Tentatively, she took the kid's hand, and softly asked questions about where he last saw his mom.

It took them a good 20 minutes of searching the store, but they finally located his mother. Apparently the kid was called Owen.

Wandering around searching for Owen's mom wasn't awkward. It turned out that the kid had played laser-tag, and spent an animated amount of time discussing it with Barney, who had been in his element cheering the kid up with stories of his epic victories. About 5 minutes in, the kid had stopped crying and totally perked up. He giggled at the things Robin said. And the hand in hers didn't feel like a burden. It felt sort of nice, actually

Before he went off with his mother, and to Robin's great surprise, he flung his arms around her.

"Thankyou." He nestled close to her, shockingly affectionate. Robin frowned slightly, as she often did when confused, but it wasn't all that unpleasant. The boy noticed her stomach, and she watched the cogs of his brain ticking as he sneaked a look towards his own clearly pregnant mother.

"Baby?" he pointed to Robin's belly.

"Baby." She confirmed.

"You be good Mommy." He stated with a nod, and then waddled cheerfully off towards his mom, who was apologizing, and profusely thanking an overwhelmed Barney. Owen waved goodbye as he was lifted up and the family turned a corner.

Damn her hormones. She wrapped her hands protectively around her stomach. What the boy had said was strangely touching.

Barney turned to face Robin, and observed that her eyes were watering.

"Somebody's gonna be a good Mommy, then." He raised an eyebrow, yanking her in for a hug.

Robin's face was a little damp. She gave him a watery chuckle.

"Hormones."

He was stood next to a somebody's shopping cart full of items. He noticed an absolutely precious babygro with bear ears on the hood, and he used both hands to straighten it out and spread it across her bump, each corner at a side of her stomach.

"How cute is legenbaby gonna look in this, because I vote a million." He grinned.

"Idiot."

"Seriously. I'm pretty sure we are going to have the cutest kid of all time. I mean, don't tell Marvin, but our baby is going to be the most awesome."

"Fifty shades of awesome."

"See this is why you are the coolest mommy-to-be of all time. Ever." He kissed her softly, lips melting into each other as his hands slid down, down, across to rest on the bump, then snaking up to cup a boob, and her ass, and then she was ruffling his hair.

"I let you guys run off and then this happens." Lily moaned, exasperated. "There are children. You are about to violate indecency laws."

"Me and Robin don't need no laws." Barney shrugged between kisses and gropes. But Lily intervened as Robin started to hook her leg around Barney's waist… because apparently that was 'too far'.

The rest of the group had joined them, along with a huge pile of clothes for Robin, and wanted to go in search of a crib and some baby books. As soon as they turned a corner, though, Barney smirked impishly at Robin, eyes glinting.

"Where were we?" he asked her ear directly, lips brushing her earlobe.

She was breathing heavily, and rasping in public with hands that gripped the lapels of his suit.

"You were doing this." She grabbed a hand and guided it to her behind, and one further up. As it passed her stomach, there was a low grumble. Damn being hungry.

Barney just laughed.

"I love you both so much." He murmured, but it was into the crook of her neck, so he wasn't too sure if she heard.

After all, the next thing she knew, she was up against a shelf, and was knocking off some remote control robot as the back of her scalp was hit by a metallic surface. Her hands flew to Barney's tie, and she completely forgot where they were, what they were doing, and what year it even was.

And then they were escorted past the embarrassed faces of their friends, and the entire store, towards the exit.

Hence the time Robin and Barney got kicked out of a department store for very nearly banging in front of children.

True story.

* * *

That night, Barney woke up to his wife shaking his shoulder, jogging his entire body in her hurry to get him up.

"Barney." She moved closer to him.

He sat up with a start, and turned to Robin, whose eyes were frantic. She clutched her stomach closely, entire expression in shock.

"Oh my god what's wrong." He looked desperately around, anxiety polluting his tone as his hands flew to steady her shoulders. "Is it the baby?"

Robin didn't say anything. She could barely even bring herself to shake her head. Nothing mattered. Everything seemed so _real._

Barney looked horrified as her hands tightened around her belly. His brain was cooking up a thousand of his worst fears, her worst fears. For weeks now he had been reassuring her that she would not miscarry, and that everything was going to be fine. He laughed at her for worrying.

Why did he laugh?

Now, every fear was coming to light.

What if Robin was right? What if all those times she'd looked at him, so afraid that something might happen, was coming true. And he'd lied to her about it all turning out okay. The amount of times he had lied to her in the past were all irrelevant now, because he knew, he knew that she couldn't forgive this. She wouldn't forgive herself.

Damnit, Barney Stinson had never wanted a baby. It had never been on his list, he'd never wanted to do the dad thing- he just didn't know how, nor had it been something desirable to him.

Yet they were having one. Yesterday had proved that even further, because despite getting kicked out of the store, they did pick up some really cute things. (Well, their friends picked up some really cute things from what they had selected earlier. Before they were banished for 'public groping.')

Toys, and that bear onsie. Their baby had to wear it. And then there was Robin, and her tiny, scared smile on those steps as she told him he was having their baby…

He couldn't breathe.

What if she lost it? Their beautiful little bump, getting bigger by the day. She was breathing deeply and holding her stomach. He felt like the ceiling was caving in, because he couldn't stand to see her in pain, and he couldn't stand to think of their legenbaby bleeding away… and oh god, he couldn't breathe.

He couldn't breathe.

"_I can't do this- I feel like I'm drowning." _

He gushed, as he had done when they first got engaged. It was choking him, so much more real this time. A panic attack. This was a real, real panic attack.

Suddenly Robin's hands were on him, one starting on his shoulder then slithering down to his back. The other was on his chest, alongside the increasing beat of his heart.

"I'm okay." She told him softly. Her mouth found his, slowly, assuring, promising him with her lips that she was just fine.

"Bu- the- your sto- I," Barney began to babble, and she cupped his face and moved closer to him.

"Sorry I scared you." She smiled, mouth trembling slightly.

"I just felt the baby move."

Barney's eyes widened.

"Ca-can I?"

She nodded. His hands rushed to her bump, but after holding them there, he felt nothing. The grin on his face slid.

"I don't feel anything." He pouted.

"Lily said it's normal. Apparently, the mother can feel the baby moving in her before other people feel it." She looked so satisfied and happy as she rubbed her belly.

"I wanna feel the baby." Barney sulked.

"I want you to too." She snuggled closer towards her husband. "This is just so crazy. There's something moving in my stomach right now. And it's not a dodgy taco."

She pulled up her shirt to observe her bump, which had grown considerably since the day they first noticed it. She rubbed it three times, and Barney watched the absolute adoration in her eyes and smile.

"You really scared me." He admitted, wrapping her close to him and closing his eyes for a second, just taking in the feel of her soft skin. He kissed the slope of her cheekbones, and brought his hands to join hers on the baby.

"I love you, Barn." She said quietly.

"Was that a nickname, ice queen?" He repeated Lily's taunt from a few days before. She scowled, and kicked him lightly. This got a laugh from him, but then he grew more serious.

"What does it feel like?"

"Amazing." She shut her eyes, feeling it again. "Freaky as crap, but amazing. Like, there's a whole life growing in me. And it's weird. I mean, we _made_ that. And it's alive. No going back now, huh."

"No going back." He repeated, squeezing her close to him.

"I don't think we can. Look at us. We have pet-names, we eat brunch, we play hungry hungry hippos and we are _snuggling_ right now- I think we might be a double date, a camping trip and a season of Woodyworthy Manor away from being Marhsmallow and Lilypad."

"We're_ way_ more awesome than those losers."

"Of course."

"They don't play laser tag."

"Or wear suits."

"Or get kicked out of placed for trying to engage in sexytimes."

"Or drink scotch,"

"Thanks to legenbaby- courtesy of Lil' Barney… _I_ don't drink scotch." She wrinkled her nose and looked down at her midriff. "And I'm beginning to look like a beach ball."

"I'm not complaining about these _beach balls."_ He groped them.

"Hey, I'm tired. Flugelhorn,"

He snorted at the reference. Her arms were now clinging to him for support, and her brown curls nestled into the dip of his chest. She belonged there. He was sure she belonged there.

"I love you preggers." He whispered cheesily, remembering that he didn't actually reciprocate what she said earlier. But, she had already fallen back asleep, snoring softly. Breaths made snorty sounds next to the beat of his heart; he loved everything about Robin Scherbatsky. She was safe. Baby was safe. And he loved her, loved her, _loved_ her. She shifted around on him and sighed. Her eyelashes were tickling him, and her belly pressed against him.

She _belonged_ on his skin more so than suits did.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: *bob the builder voice* Caaaaan I possibly write anything more nauseatingly fluffy YES I CAN_

* * *

There was a very loud and un-ignorable banging in the Stinson-Scherbatsky kitchen at 3am, one that no matter how hard Barney tried to dismiss, and burry his head in pillows, had to be addressed.

Rubbing his eyes and shaking his head, he walked through to the kitchen. Not long after, he was able to pick up on the smell of chocolate burning inside the rumbling microwave. The cold tiles hit his feet, which were sockless- and previously warm, as he was faced with Robin in the kitchen. She was attempting to balance a pot of clotted cream on her not-quite-large-enough-to-balance-things-on-yet belly, whilst whisking some horrendous concoction of microwaved chocolate, ice and some pale goo.

"Baby, what the hell are you doing?" he grumbled sleepily, dragging himself passed his counter and up to her. She smiled brightly.

"Hey, Barnman." She waggled her eyebrows and approached him, dumping the bowl carelessly onto the worktop, which caused its contents to slop over the sides. "I learned a new trick."

He sighed. God, it was a good thing he loved her.

"What's your trick." He asked her. He really tried to plaster on a look of interest, and a clearly faked smile, but luckily for him, her state of pregnancy brain couldn't much differentiate between a moose and a mouse.

She seemed confused for a minute, but then her face changed as she remembered. She picked up the pot of clotted cream from the side and pushed her stomach as far out as it would go, arching her back. The pot sat there, and she smirked smugly.

"Eh." She nodded, grinning. "Eh!"

The look of pride was normally enough to make him want to swoop her up in his arms and kiss her (and probably progress to other, more active ways of celebrating her pride), but even Barney knew that now was not the time.

Tomorrow was Robin's sonogram, and the both of them were ridiculously nervous, but excited. Barney was faintly uneasy of seeing that image up on the screen… definite, unmovable proof that there was no changing things now- not that he wanted to. Not at all. It was just scary, to know for certain that there's a life growing in your wife's belly, and it's going to depend on you. He found the notion of a whole other person depending on him to be very troublesome. But then he would remember that Robin depended on him. Not that much; she was a hell of an independent woman, but she did depend on him a little. And he liked it.

He'd talk about the sonogram with Robin, and observing that jittery look of enthusiasm to her enabled him to forget all the bad stuff.

It was their legenbaby. That wasn't scary at all.

They had to be up early for the appointment, which was at 9am. Robin scheduled the earliest time she could, and the two of them were more than ready. The only problem being that they had hardly gotten any sleep recently (wink, wink), meaning they were pretty darn tired, and they really wanted to be on top form for what promised to be a legendary and momentous day. So, it had been an early night, what with Robin needing much more sleep now. Except she was up, entertaining what he could only assume was a craving.

Pregnancy brain didn't affect Robin in the way it had affected Lily. Oddly enough, most of the time Robin remained her normal self. It was only recently that an uncanny phenomenon had begun: when she was hungry, the pregnancy brain kicked in- sleepiness, laughing at obscure and random objects.

He had learnt about this in Robin 101, and that was just ordinary Robin hunger reaction. Pregnant Robin hunger reaction was not worth thinking about, and he made sure that she was well fed at all times. Hungry Robin was not happy Robin. (Horngry Robin was more than happy, but that was a whole other situation.) However, he did not want to deal with tired Robin, or anything other than _his _Robin the next morning.

He wouldn't watch her get frustrated because she was too sleepy to concentrate on the ultrasound she had been looking forward to. This was a big for him, so heck knows how she must be feeling. He wasn't going to have her miss out on enjoying this fully. He wanted her to be able to remember it, and since she'd spend half the evening planning out the perfect outfit for the day, it was clear that this meant a lot to her.

She approached him, interrupting his thoughts.

"I'm a magician now," she giggled. Robin giggling was never good news. "Magic!"

She took the cream and smeared some of it onto his lips, still cackling away to herself.

He groaned.

"Robin, you know I love you, but what's going on right now."

"Legenbaby wanted ice cream." She patted her bump.

"So why are you mixing cream, melted chocolate, ice… and _is that my shaving gel_?"

"Oops."

He felt more and more agitated. He had to get her into bed, damnit. At this point, he wished he were Marshall, because Marshall always knew exactly how to deal with Lily when she got like this. Pregnancy stuff was fresh ground for them, and he had no idea what to do, and whether or not he would upset Robin. Because at that moment, he kind of wanted to scream at her.

"Why didn't you get ice cream from the freezer."

"Because we didn't have any, and you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up."

Barney looked around the kitchen; it was total devastation. Mess everywhere, fridge door open, microwave coated in chocolate. It would take him an age to clear up, seeing as his cleaning team wouldn't be available at these sorts of hours, and frankly, Robin was in no state to help him out.

He took a breath and stopped looking at all the mess. It was only making him more infuriated, and he didn't want to be mad. Mad wasn't cool, or awesome.

So he looked at Robin.

Her hair was dragged up into a messy ponytail, which was really only a sprout of dark hair in a bobble. She was dressed in her usual Vancouver Canucks tee shirt, which was insanely stretched out over her growing stomach. There was a fairly large area of skin peaking out where the top ended and her sleep shorts began. And she was wearing his socks, way too big on her. His eyes darted up to her face, and it somehow managed to look more beautiful than every single bimbo he'd ever been with, even at 3 in the morning with no makeup on, and chocolate on her nose.

Any remaining anger fizzled out as he drank her in, and the earnest expression she was wearing. This crazy stuff was all so she didn't wake him up. And there she was, smiling up at him flawlessly.

He couldn't help but give into that smile, and wrapped her into a cuddle. His lips grazed the top of her head and his arms were gentle on her back. Nowadays he wasn't able to get her as near to him as he wanted because of the baby bump, but he didn't mind. It was nice to have them both close.

"I'll go get you some ice cream."

He guided her through to the bedroom and tucked her back in. Then, she lazily swaddled herself in the covers, placing her hands on top of the duvet and tapping her fingers.

It took a lot of swallowing pride to go out of the house wearing, well, anything other than a suit. He was pretty sure that it de-awesomed him a whole lot, and he hoped to god that he didn't see anybody he knew. He was in pajamas, for god's sakes. Barney Stinson did not leave the house in pajamas. Besides, he rarely even slept in actual 'pajamas' since Robin had destroyed his suitjamas- it was only because it was so cold out that he had donned them, and was about to leave the house in them. Crap, he was about to step out of the fortress of barnitude unsuited up. That was surely a crime against awesomeness.

He sighed and picked off a loose thread from the sleeve. Perhaps it would be worth some sort of redemption if this hugely un-awesome act made Robin happy. Making Robin happy was nothing short of legendary.

He turned back to their bedroom to ask what flavor of ice cream she wanted, but when he stuck his head round the door, she was sleeping. Her head draped onto his side of the bed and taking over some of his pillow space. He noticed that the bed had a bulge in it where her middle was, and it made him feel strangely elated in the pit of his chest.

He shrugged out of the coat he was in and lightly walked across the room, hoping he wouldn't wake her up again. Then he slipped into bed next to her, and curved his body in a way that wouldn't nudge her off his pillow, and wouldn't stir her now she was finally resting. He couldn't resist placing his hand on her hip, though, despite him not being under the covers. They weren't cuddling, he was just touching small parts of her- and it was a dot to dot; one hand on her hip, one foot on her ankle, his abdomen pressed to hers, rooting them to each other.

He fell asleep ten minutes later to the sound of her breathing. He pretended he wasn't listening to it, because that would be creepy and lame- kind of like that weird sparkly dude in that vampire thing Lily made him watch. But he was. He was listening to her. Their breaths synchronized as he lulled in and out of sleep, and he listened to his wife breathe.

* * *

It was 8.45, and they'd already been at the hospital for a good 20 minutes, having been certain to set off with time to spare. Robin and Barney were sat in the waiting area of the hospital together, and he had his arm draped over her shoulders as they sat, not saying much. Robin clicked her tongue against her cheek and did the smoothing out hair thing that occurred when she was nervous. Barney picked up on it, and shifted on his blue plastic chair.

"It's gonna be okay y'know." He smiled.

She did know. Of course she knew. She'd felt the baby moving on the drive to the hospital, so how could anything possibly have happened in that space of time. Evidently, all was well, she just needed to calm down, and stop stressing out, because clearly this was bad for the baby and-

The _baby._

She puffed out a large gulp of breath, and shut her eyes. Today she was going to get to get to see it, find out whether it's a boy or a girl. She was nervous. These were really, really big milestones, and she wasn't sure if she wanted everything to be moving so fast.

Not that long ago, she didn't even know she was pregnant. But now they were here, and she was showing- and they were about to find out whether the child they would raise for the next 18 years (crap, _18 years_) would be a boy or a girl. And that was big. Last year they weren't yet married, hell, a year ago they weren't even _engaged_. She would have been still figuring out her feelings for Barney, and trying to make sense of all the crazy stuff going on around her; which all turned out to be a part of 'The Robin'.

At that point she hadn't even been sure _Barney_ was what she wanted. And _if_ she wanted him, then it would only be for 'one last time' sex to 'get him out of her system'. Back then she was still naive enough to think that Barney didn't love her, and that she had absolutely no feelings left for him. Maybe she'd meet someone else, date him for a while- maybe see if she could tolerate him enough to settle down. Kids, though, certainly weren't in the plan. She couldn't allow them to be in her plan, because she was broken. She couldn't grow a baby if she wanted one, so what was the point in thinking about the possibility of becoming a mother.

To be a mother, you couldn't be broken like she was. And you had to have a father for your baby.

She smoothed a hand over her stomach and realized just how important the baby was to her. She wasn't alone anymore. Even though she had always been so hugely self-supporting her whole life, and claimed to be uncomfortable with intimate relationships, one of her biggest fears was that she would end up shutting out one too many of the people who cared about her. And that they would just get the message and back off, leaving her _alone._

Young Robin Scherbatsky was always a tiny bit terrified of ending up alone. Her Dad never gave her much interest, nor did her Mom. She hadn't known how to _do_ affection, and had consequently put a wall up against her sister. Perhaps that was why she loved being Robin Sparkles- at least, for a while, because it provided her with so much attention. Fans who adored her, and friends who wanted to be around her all the time.

Her first proper boyfriend, Simon. Although, in the end, he, and the fans, left her too. She changed, and then she was alone again in New York with no friends and no family.

Thank god she moved out here, she thought to herself, placing the other hand on her belly. Watching pregnant women, she normally found it inconceivably annoying when they wouldn't stop rubbing their stomachs, but now she got it. She finally got it.

She nestled closer to Barney.

"Could you get me a hot chocolate please?" she nodded to the coffee machine, about 5 yards in front of them.

"Craving?"

She said yes, not feeling in the mood to explain that she had a meaningful connection with a heated drink, that transcended years of her life and could be traced back to her father being so detached. Agreeing was simpler for now. Barney got up, doing that thing where he threw his wallet and caught it with his hand behind his back. It made her smirk as she watched, de-stressing her somewhat.

She had no idea why she was going into such depth right here and now, but for some reason she was. It was just, everything had changed so much in a year. And she didn't mind. Change wasn't bothering her anymore.

This change was good change.

Barney sat down next to her and placed the drink in her hands, blowing on it for her first.

"I'm not a freaking invalid, Barney." She scolded, not as threateningly as she would have liked. He chuckled in response.

"So, is it good."

She sipped it, not caring that the heat burned her tongue, and the liquid was quite tasteless. Chocolate flavoring cased her upper lip, and the tip of her tongue, too. She smacked her lips and observed the brown drink in the cup.

"Not really." She pulled a face.

They sort of laughed together, relieving the tension in the room.

All this internal monologue crap was pointless. It was pointless to keep on worrying when she had Barney beside her. She wasn't _alone_ anymore. She slid her hand down her (sadly, now maternity) jeans, and onto his lap. Their fingers intertwined, and she leaned back, taking another sip of chocolate-y hot water.

He loved her so much. And she loved him too. She loved him for getting her pregnancy-brained self back to bed last night, and for clearing up all the mess for her the next morning. He had mocked her mercilessly about that the entire car journey, but it wasn't mean at all. Nor was the attention suffocating.

All of it, all of this, just made her feel loved.

She stroked his thumb with hers, and they started to talk about things. Dumb little things about their days yesterday. What they had done at work. Barney told a highly animated and entirely ludicrous story about 'food guy and the communist enchilada.' And about the blonde intern GNB just hired who turned out to be a Robin Sparkles fan, after Barney had calculated her age, clocked her Canadian accent and noticed the string of jelly bracelets that apparently did not go well with her skirt suit.

She hadn't even had to fake laughter at his story, albeit total lies, and felt oddly humbled to have encountered a Robin Sparkles fan. But she demanded some sort of proof before she signed any autographs. Barney was told about how she keeps craving Patrice's cookies, but asking for Patrice's cookies involves vocal exchange with Patrice, so the trauma of whether the biscuits are worth it ends up being the most taxing decision of her professional life.

Halfway through telling him about that time she kneed Sandy in the balls during the news because he commented on her pregnancy boobs, she noticed Barney nuzzling his nose into her hair and smelling the curls at the end of her shoulders.

"Are you smelling me."

"No." he dismissed, smirking.

"You are totally smell-raping me, dude." She accused humorously.

"Okay, I admit it." He started off confident and assured, but then his voice lapsed, pleading. "You just smell so good."

"I can't believe _you_ want to sit around holding my hand and smelling my hair and listening to stories about my day."

"Something like that,"

"Idiot."

Robin looked up to check the time.

"Oh, god. Oh my god _why_." Her tone became dark, and extremely bothered. So unlike the blissful few minutes that they'd shared. Mood swings were becoming normal, but she didn't want _this_. Barney put his arm around her.

"Hey, it's okay. We're fine. We've still got about 10 minu-"

"No, look."

It was _Krirsten_, and whatever the hell her husband was called. And dear lord she was pregnant.

"Hide me, hide me, hide me." Robin spoke quickly under her breath, using her hand to shield her face- not that it worked, because they were being approached.

"Fancy seeing you here."

"Hello, _Krirsten_." Barney began, with a raised eyebrow and attitude. "And…" Robin watched the wheels turning as he tried to figure out the name of whatever the husband was called, "_you_. We meet again."

"I see you also have been blessed with a little miracle." Krirsten gushed enthusiastically, causing Robin to groan with equal enthusiasm.

"Barney do you have a lighter?"

"Baby, I know they're annoying, but you can't smoke."

"No, no. I was just going to use it to set myself on fire."

She smiled at Krirsten and whatever the hell the husband was called, and he had apparently grown a goatee. It was repulsive, and featured small chunks of his lunch, which looked like it used to be gourmet. Robin wanted to throw up looking at it, and she was sure that it was nothing to do with being pregnant. Suddenly her happy mood was going, and much as she didn't want it to, she could tell something was going to occur. Pregnancy did that: it gave her _instincts._

"So, are you two thinking of going to watch that new insidious film?" Asked goatee man randomly. Barney and Robin shared a skeptical glance; they had actually been considering seeing it, since nothing was awesome enough to get a scare out of them. But why the hell was this a relevant question?

"Maybe we were?" This looked like it was going somewhere suspicious.

"Well you shouldn't." he declared righteously.

"Violent images can be extremely damaging for the life you are supporting." Krirsten chipped in, shooting Robin a scornful glare. "It is our responsibility as future parents, to make sure that others are educated."

"Okay, so we won't watch it. Maybe, we'll go see a re-run of that… um," Robin moved her hands as she tried to conjure up an example. "Harry Potter film."

Krirsten and shut-the-hell-up-mr-goatee laughed at them, like they were kindergarten students. Robin was this close to punching one of them. Or both of them. Who were they to say what Robin should and shouldn't watch? Okay, so maybe watching a horror film wasn't the best of ideas- but there was no need to treat them like this for simply answering a question that _they_ asked.

"Harry Potter is in no way suitable for our developing children."

Harry Potter was a children's film. Now, she knew better than to say that in front of Barney, Marshall and the guys, but it was a children's film. And there was no way Robin was going to let this obnoxious cow categorize her legenbaby along with whatever demon spawn she and nameless-goatee-pervert had cooked up.

"So what, now I'm not allowed to watch anything." Robin was getting more and more irate. Barney could see this, and took a metaphorical step back. These idiots had no idea what they were dealing with. You don't get into a dispute with Robin Scherbatsky, because she will win. And his awesome Robin was going to kick the asses of these losers.

"We like to watch operas and ballets, so that our little one will be cultured."

"We watch… The nutcracker."

"La boheme."

"Madame butterfly."

"Rosemary's baby." Muttered Barney, a comment that the other couple tastefully decided to ignore.

"And we advise that you do the same." Goatee ordered them, about as judgmentally as was humanly possible.

"Now, if you excuse us, we have a 9am sonogram to be getting to."

Robin froze. _What. _

"You… have a 9am sonogram."

"That's our appointment." Barney growled.

"We especially booked this appointment. We like things to be done early."

At this, Robin stood up. Barney was slightly worried that she might murder one of them, if the steely look of determination was anything to go by.

She stood there, trying to think of something to do, some way to react and stop this. Stealing their table at a romantic dinner was one thing. But trying to prevent them from the first ultrasound ever of their child. No. Too far, _Krirsten,_ too far.

So stole a glance to the clock, which was almost dead on nine, so there were just a few minutes to spare. There was warmth in her hand, and she remembered her hot chocolate. It had developed a layer of froth, which she very deliberately brought to her mouth and licked. Her eyes shut for a brief moment, as she tasted it. Then she threw the contents of the cup at Krirsten's husband.

"Oh no. Look's like you guys will have to sort that out." Robin informed them pleasantly, taking Barney's hand and walking off in direction of the doctor's office, ignoring the shouts of protest from the pair they had left behind. Barney was sniggering, impressed.

"Wow." He looked her up and down, still laughing, "That was badass! My wife is awesome five!"

She brought her hand up to his. The sound of their palms slapping together echoed around her, and she listened to the way each one rippled over the corridor they were stood in, alone.

"I was getting a bit nervous back there." She admitted, running a hand across his suited up chest. Her fingers rested between his pecks, and felt the soft, probably disgustingly expensive material beneath them.

"I know you were. You did your hair thing."

"What hair thing."

Barney watched his wife. "You do this hair thing when you get nervous."

"I don't do a hair thing."

"You're doing it right now."

"Shut up."

She balled her hand on his chest into a fist, and hit it lightly. He feigned great pain, and she rolled her eyes at the ridiculous spectacle in front of her. He was _such_ an idiot.

"So, you ready to go…- y'know." She tipped her head in the direction of the door.

"Sure." He crumpled up the empty plastic cup that she had given to him and threw it a considerable distance to the green trashcan. Then he gestured to the door, about to hold it open for her, when his face crumpled up, as if he had just remembered something he'd previously forgotten.

"Oh wait."

"What?" Robin felt anxious. What had he just thought of?

He was kissing her. Deep, so deep that it pretty much swept every conceivable worry and problem a few million miles away from where they were standing. He moved his hand into her hair, and the other cupped her face. It took her back to that day before their wedding. She was wearing a lose cream shirt and black blazer, and he had kissed and kissed her and kissed her. Barney Stinson had kissed her until she saw stars right there in the door of their apartment, darting across her closed eyes whilst he kissed away the stress that had bothered her then.

They broke apart. She felt herself whimper from the loss of his mouth and his touch.

"Let's go see our baby." He said, in the exact same way that he had said, 'let's go get married.' When he said it, all smiles, and those beautiful crinkles at the sides of his eyes that appeared when he grinned, it seemed like the single most appealing thing in the world.

* * *

Jill was the same nurse that had confirmed Robin's pregnancy. She was doing the sonogram. She'd spent a while at the beginning asking Robin all the routine questions.

How have you been, have you had any pain, are you craving anything, are you feeling tired or having any mood swings.

The answer to most of the questions was yes, and Jill was now finally hooking up the machine. Robin had to lie all the way down on the long, white chair, and she felt extremely awkward. Barney was at her head, supportively holding her hand. It felt as though she was at the dentist or something, which wasn't all that comfortable, and she worried that the position she was in might give her a double chin. She swallowed, for about the fifth time.

"This is going to be cold." Jill warned with a smile, swishing her red hair behind her, allowing it to contrast with her white coat. She produced a weird sort of wand, and some gel, then bobbed her head to Barney and Robin, and began to smear the stuff over Robin's swollen middle.

She didn't flinch as it touched her, even though it did feel a tiny bit cold. Barney raised his brows, as if asking her about her lack of reaction. She was smug as she whispered "Canada."

He had dragged up a chair so that they were at the same height, and he was able to quickly peck her lips before they heard a buzz, and then Jill's voice.

"So, I've just switched the machine on, and right here," she pointed to the screen, which had been perfectly positioned so that they could see it, "is your baby."

Robin felt Barney's hand tighten in hers. Or maybe she gripped onto his. Either way, their grasp on each other was firmer.

The image flickered on the screen, grey and quite hard to see. Robin saw her mind recall each and every film or show she had ever seen that had an ultrasound in it. She thought of Lily's baby craze, and having to watch ultrasound videos for fun, and thinking- these all look exactly the same. Why are you getting so hyper over this video when every single one of them looks the same? Even Marvin's ultrasound hadn't interested her. Because it was just the_ same_ as the ones she'd already seen. Nothing was different.

Her watery eyes were seeing something different in this one. For the first time it wasn't just a grey blob. It was hers. A baby.

This wasn't a little peanut shaped lump on a fuzzy screen. It was baby shaped. There was a teeny, tiny baby head, and arms, and feet. She watched as it shifted, and moved one of it's arms up- and oh it had _hands_. Little hands.

A quiet yelp escaped her as she watched it, because that was her baby. This was happening. Her and Barney had created a baby with hands and feet that _moved_.

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

"Yes." The way Barney's voice was choked was familiar. He sounded like a tearful, emotional young boy that he would often jokingly put on. She sensed the immaturity in his voice. She knew he was crying, and wouldn't call him out on it because she was damn sure that there was a small monsoon raining down her face, and even though Robin Scherbatsky did not cry, Robin Scherbatsky listening to her baby's heartbeat for the first time did.

That sound was solid. A beat, drumming round the room, utterly intoxicating. She could fall asleep to that beat.

"Is the baby healthy?" Robin asked slowly, still fixated on the screen.

"Yes. From your bloods, and the heartbeat, you're growing a strong and healthy baby."

Strong.

Yes, she liked the sound of strong.

"That's inside you." Barney murmured incredulously. He didn't know if he was talking about the silhouette of the healthy baby on the screen, or the beating sound in the room, but Robin understood. She was awestruck.

"Crazy, huh." She looked at Barney, who was wearing his half-smirk that meant absolute joy.

"Now, you said you'd like to know the gender."

They did. It had been a point of great discussion ever since she told him she was pregnant.

Both of them had been oh so desperate to find out what the gender of Lily and Marshall's baby was, so they were growing almost apoplectic with anticipation as the time they would find out theirs grew nearer.

Gender was important to them. They needed to know for so many things. Clothes, toys, nursery decoration. It was almost impossible to start properly preparing until you know whether to stock up on pink or blue items.

Robin didn't want to be biased at all, but she always imagined her child with Barney to be a boy. Whenever she had thieved a moment in the past, it had been a boy. This was _Barney_. It was hard not to see him with a boy. A bro. They had already purchased 8 suits for legenbaby.

It wasn't that she wanted a boy, or was one of these parents who absolutely dreamed of having one gender over the other. She just had a hard job not picturing a suit-clad tot with Barney's blonde curls and impish smile. At times when she couldn't quite sleep, she'd lie in Barney's arms and wonder if, perhaps, their little boy would smell like him.

A son seemed to slot in with their lives so well. He'd play hockey, and laser tag, and Barney would probably teach him how to be the ultimate wingman. But not after his Momma gave him an empowered feminism lesson, assuring he treated women with respect.

She knew he'd be gorgeous. How could her baby boy not be gorgeous?

She swallowed and shuffled a tad closer to Barney. Then back over the screen. The baby there was waving its leg up. _That's ours_. She thought. _That's inside of me. _

_I love you._ She wanted to tell it.

She didn't care, she realized. Not that she had done before, not really. Yet in all seriousness, she had had some preference. There had been a small part of her secretly hoping for a boy. Only that part was gone. She couldn't find it if she wanted to. Looking at the fuzzy display of their child, she knew that she didn't give a damn anymore. She loved it. Oh, she loved it.

"Yeah, that's right."

Jill flipped some papers over on her clipboard, and tapped her ballpoint pen against the metal bit at the top of it. The pen clicked down on some of the plastic on the clipboard, and it sounded as though it had one of those leather-style coverings. Robin could hear that horrible sound of long nails on paper.

"Congratulations. You are having a baby girl."


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I'm pretty sure that spending summer writing Christmas babyfic fluff rather than socialising is perfectly valid *nods*_

* * *

Sat down, slightly shaky, on the end of their grey bed sheets, Robin counted the seconds on the bedroom clock. She managed to steady her breathing to the ticking of the slim red hand that moved around the clock. It was solid, something to focus on, pinned to the smooth grey wall opposite her.

Tick.

Tick.

"Baby, where are you?"

Tick.

"Oh my god, Robin what's wrong?"

He drank in what was sat in front of him. Robin looked nothing less than distraught. Her blue eyes were blurred with black eyeliner, and her lips trembled. This wasn't a horny tremble. A cold, or scared, or mildly upset tremble.

It looked distraught. And he hated it, because he really hadn't ever seen her like this.

"Robin, talk to me." That genuine concern appeared in his voice, that one that was so few and far between, and it shook her out of whatever stupor she was in. Her Robin-ness kicked in, and before she knew it she was stood up, brushing down her dress and wiping her eyes. She was putting up a front. She always did when other people were asking if anything was up. She'd automatically say no.

Saying no was what she knew.

"Seriously, what's wrong? You gotta talk to me."

She inhaled, and threw on a smile. It felt depressingly fake even to her mind.

"Nothing. It's…- it's stupid." Her head was shaking as she spoke. Perhaps she was shaking it to accentuate how 'nothing-y' it was. Then again, perhaps she was shaking it as a way to say no, it's something. It's so very much something and I need to talk about it.

"Robin, don't try that on me."

"What?"

"Your little 'it's stupid.' thing"

"That's not a thing."

"Robin, I've known you for 9 years. I didn't used to know much about anyone having a thing. I know I suck at emotions."

He paused. His voice was stripped bare, and he spoke in that voice he reserved for her. "But believe me, as your husband, I know that it's not _stupid_."

He used air quotations to mark the word stupid. She studied the sincerity of his expression. He was wearing what was perhaps her favourite look on him- shirt, top button undone, but still tucked into his pants, and no tie. He'd come in and discarded his jacket, so she could see the more casual rolled up sleeves and bare arms. They were covered with tiny gold hairs, ones she loved to be able to touch. She loved that she was the only one who got to touch them.

Again, her gaze flittered to his face, and she decided that maybe, she was over reacting. Then again, she had just experienced what was probably one of her worst nightmares, and to top it all off, it was wrapped up in a trip to see her Dad.

What her father had said, on what should have been a causal visit, had made her regress with her open-ness. It sucked that even though they had been closer after the wedding, her father still had the ability to reduce her to a child again with only a few words. Seeing him today had brought back a lot of old emotions, and had basically resulted in her coming home, sitting on their bed and having a panic attack.

That can't have been good for the baby.

Her hands found her stomach, and she sought an amount of refuge in the idea of legenbaby. She looked up at Barney again; who seemed very confused, and was staring at her, arms slightly open. His entire body language screamed that he wanted to help her.

She sat back down on the bed. He deserved to know what was wrong.

She perched tentatively on the edge, hands gripping the metal underpart of the frame, as if she might get up to leave at any moment. He joined her quickly, and immediately met her eyes.

He didn't touch her, though. Even to him, somebody who always comforted in a very physical way, knew somehow that this wasn't the time to touch her.

She hated how she was making such a big deal out of all of this. It was nearly Christmas, and she just wanted things to go back to being fun, and awesome. A trip to tell her Dad about the baby was meant to make things _more _awesome, but had somehow done the opposite.

Barney wasn't to know that though.

She played with a bit of fluff on the edge of the sheets. _Start with something small, Scherbatsky. _

"When I was younger, I'd drink hot chocolate when I got sad."

"Lame." Barney snorted instinctively. He instantly regretted it when he saw her face. She moved to get up, but he caught her arm.

"Sorry, sorry. Go on. Please."

"Anyway." Frustration rose in her tone. "I'd drink it when I felt alone, and when my parents were being particular douches, and it's something I still do now."

His brain clicked. That's why she asked for the hot chocolate at the ultrasound. But where the hell was this going?

"One time, I've never exactly told anyone this story, but it was the time my Dad decided he was gonna raise me like a boy. I was six." She gulped. "We were hunting deer."

Barney looked at his wife.

"We'd already hunted rabbits. I hated that, I mean, I was just a kid. I thought they were cute-…but, he made me eat them. After I was okay with it, he wanted me to hunt deer with him."

He saw her throat bobbing, and he dared to edge nearer to her. He just wanted her in his arms right now, but he couldn't. Damn, he couldn't. He had to hear her out.

"Up until then, I'd been a girl. I had long hair, I wore little ribbons, my Mom let me have dresses sometimes. But then after we hunted the rabbits, he got the idea that he could raise me as a boy as well as name me a boy. So he took me deer hunting, dressed up in hunting gear and everything. And I was really, really good at it. Like, scary good. I found it fun."

She took a breath, but when she did, she felt like the walls were caving in. All the old emotions from years ago, ones she'd refused to think about, were all coming flooding in.

They were in danger of coming flooding out, actually. Robin Scherbatsky didn't cry all that much, even in this whole pregnancy thing. But this. This made her hate the fact that she had bottled up so much stuff over the years.

Perhaps if she simply cried more often, she wouldn't be feeling like right now, all those unsaid things about her childhood were going to come exploding out. Making her feel, well, like a volcano. A _volcano._

She didn't want to be a volcano, at all. She took three slow gasps of air and kept talking.

"So after, I asked if I could hunt more, and he said yes. I guess it got him thinking, because later that day, he invited me to his study. And-" her voice broke, and she tried to neglect it the best she could. She wanted to be in Barney's arms. She wanted them to curl up to sleep together. He wanted him to run his fingers through her hair and kiss her baby bump and talk about all the cool things that they were going to do when the baby came.

"He cut all my hair off."

Tick.

Barney gaped. He actually gaped like a tiny kid being told a scary story at camp. Yeah, a haircut wasn't a huge deal, but hacking off the hair of a six-year-old girl. That was sadistic. He imagined a chubby little Robin, with her long brown hair and hunting gear. She was dimples and ribbons.

And then the hair was gone. Little Robin was crying… and god, real Robin was crying. He _hated_ it. He hated it.

"I got really mad at him for doing it to me- but then_ he_ got really mad. He started throwing stuff, and Katie was only a baby, and she started crying in the next room, and my Mom was yelling through the walls. He screamed right in my face and told me that I had to go to Canadian Military School for boys. And that was when he took me out and burned all my 'girly' clothes in front of me."

That man, Barney thought. He could barely believe that he'd tried to embrace Mr. Scherbatsky as a father. They'd played laser tag together; a sacred sport.

Barney had really bonded with him. They'd been similar, he thought. And yet that man had done this to his own child?

No, he'd done it to _Robin._

He loved her more. That thing he'd said to her three years ago, when she'd turned up out of the blue on his doorstep asking if she made him feel needed… well he meant it even more now. He meant more than ever that she was strong.

"Wow, Robin-" He reached out to touch her, but she shifted away.

"I went to see my Dad today."

He analyzed her expression, watching for any wavers in her cheeks, but nothing. She wasn't giving anything away.

"I thought, since we've told everybody else, and that it's Christmas coming up, that I'd go tell him. I mean, I didn't really need to say anything, look at me." She gave a watery laugh as she gestured to her abdomen, but there wasn't any happiness in the laughter. It was dull and harsh.

"He invited me in. We talked, briefly. Carol was out. And, he tried to make me some weird meat soup thing, because apparently my childbearing hips need to be wider if I'm going to deliver him a healthy grandchild."

"He said he was proud of me."

"Oh my God," He grinned at her, genuinely ecstatic. This has been what she's wanted for pretty much her entire life. It's like her dream. He'd covered it with Ted in that class, the thing that will truly, properly make Robin happy was to hear her Dad say 'Robin, I'm proud of you.' He'd hadn't liked that it was a thing her couldn't give to her. But why, then, was she looking so darn miserable?

"That's amazing." He complimented her, softer now.

"No. It's not." Again, there was that hollow laughing.

"After he said that I was just- I don't even know. It was pretty much everything I've ever wanted. His approval, and of course it would come from something that I'd always said I never wanted. Who knew that if I'd have just gotten pregnant, he'd have said it sooner, right?" The laughing was getting a tad manic, similar to when she'd told the group that Sir Sratchewan turned into a turtle.

"Well apparently, he's only proud of me as long as I'm carting around his future grand_son_."

Oh. _Oh._ He got it, now.

"As soon as I told him that I was having a baby girl, he didn't want to know. He took it back." Her lip was quivering. "He called me fat."

Barney had never felt more like killing a man in his entire life. Who the hell was this man to say these things to Robin? He could understand, probably better than anyone else, what it felt like to crave approval- especially from your Dad. He knew how great it felt when he told his Dad he was getting married. Finally having that person be part of your life. He felt so elated when Jerry had patted him on the back and said, "I'm proud of you, Barney."

It would have been soul crushing to have him take it back. And Robin was vulnerable. Pregnant. And it was the week before Christmas and that guy had spoiled it for them.

He'd gone and spoiled her dreams.

"Barney, your gonna hate me for saying this. But, I used to worry that you and my Dad were kind of similar. Emotional detachment and all." She tried to make it jokey, but he knew it was at least partially true. "But do you remember what you said when we were in bed the other day, talking names?"

They'd been curled up together, pouring over a baby names book at Ted's request. He'd been horrified to discover that they hadn't decided on the name for their little princess, and had whined that it would mean his and Tabby's Christmas present wouldn't be customized. So they had sat and trolled their way through the long list, finding it increasingly hard to fall upon a girl's name that didn't relate to one of Barney's past conquests. Robin was determined that their daughter have a unique name, one that he certainly hadn't been with.

"We couldn't find one. And you said 'It'd be easier if she were a boy.' I know you were kidding but…" she trailed off, uncharacteristic vulnerability coating her sentences.

Tick, tick.

Tick, tick.

Tick.

What if she'd offended him too much.

Tick.

What if he hated her for saying it.

Tick.

What if it was true? What if he didn't want to love their girl because she was a girl? What if he only wanted a bro?

That was the second that lasted a lifetime for Robin. Waiting. Holding her tongue in her cheek and waiting.

"I love you." He said it as though it was the most obvious, screamingly and ridiculously obvious thing in the universe. He placed his hand on her bump, and rubbed it. Not a light touch, or caress. A slow rub. He felt the friction of her green dress on his hands, and rubbed her belly over, and over and over. He needed her to know. He loved her bump. But more, he loved what was in it.

"And, um… I love her too. I'm not pretending that I'm not scared crapless that I'm gonna be the worst Dad in the world. But I promise I'll be better than him"

He took a second to try to think of the right thing to say because he was not good at this. He darted looks around their bedroom for inspiration. However in the end, he simply decided to say the thing that was most apparent to him.

"You're beautiful. And I know she's gonna look like you. Your brown hair and my eyes, but your face. I won't care if she doesn't, though. Robin, I don't care what she looks like. Hell- I don't care if she comes out green, like in that dumb musical Ted made us sit through…"

"Wicked?"

"Yes, Robin, it _was_ wicked of him to make us go to that. But I don't care how green she is, I'll love her if she's the colour of your dress… although in all seriousness, perhaps you should lay off the apple slushies- but I'm getting off the point," he brandished his hand in the air slightly comically. She chuckled like a reflex. "Which is that I love you both more than, wait for it… my suits. I know, I know, I find it hard to believe too."

His speech was taking a turn for the lighthearted, but then he paused and looked down. There was almost a glitch in the intonation of his voice. "There's that heartbeat Robin. And I swear to god if it would protect her… I would dress like Ted… for the rest of my life. I'd even wear sweats. Provided they were Armani."

She smiled properly at this, and scuffled closer to him. It was becoming okay again. "Robin that guy is the worst. If he were a character, he'd be Harry Potter. Ned Stark. War horse. Doctor Who. The Hobbit. Ralph Macchio."

"Right, because those are all bad guys."

"Ssh. They are. And I could show you my 169… _what up_, slide powerpoint explaining exactly why these characters are evil… but I won't. Because no matter what that veritable nutbag of a sexist life ruiner that guy thinks, I'm proud of you. I know it's not the same, but I always will be."

Something in her, maybe her heart, swelled at this. She was so wrong before. So completely, completely wrong. Barney was nothing like her ass of a father. He was going to raise their baby properly. Nobody was going to cut her hair off and tell her she was a disappointment. She was going to get a cuddle from her Mom and Dad every single day, and they were both going to tell her how proud they were of her, no matter what.

"She's gonna be so loved."

"Yeah she is." Barney smiled. He drew Robin's face close to his, and kissed her. He did his best, his very best to make it romantic. Sweet. He wanted it to be tender. He didn't want to be passionate and wild, tongues smashing together and twisting in the bare heat of things. He wanted to be gentle. He didn't think that he was doing too good a job of it, and honestly, she'd probably had better. Being at the top of his game was unnecessary. This was for her. Because jokes, suits, cigars and awesomeness aside, she was his world.

It sucked so much to admit it, because he had insisted on being an independent man- king of bachelors, but this woman was his whole world and he needed her to know that she was darn beautiful.

He loved everything about her, and he was not a guy who said that lightly.

* * *

Her arm was being shaken.

"Robin, wake up."

She groaned unceremoniously.

"Baby. C'mon. Up." Barney prodded her excitedly. She mumbled some unintelligible cursing under her breath, and then opened her eyes. Flattening out the duvet, she observed her husband, who was smiling like a ridiculous puppy wanting a walk. Robin knew that look well; she did used to live with a coven of dogs. It made the corners of her lips twitch to see that look on Barney's face, _Barney_, who tried to be so cool and suave.

A good few days had passed since her 'crisis'. She'd completely recovered now, and had of course apologized to Barney for comparing him to her father. They hadn't been this loved up since their dinner before the wedding.

Barney had even organized her a spa trip (one that was definitely compatible with pregnancy, he had checked) yesterday. She'd been fully pampered, at Barney's expense, and had crawled into bed early, feeling unbelievably comfortable. There had been all these amazing oils, and candles and creams…; Robin had never felt happier with her pregnant body.

It took her 2 minutes to fall asleep, snuggled up with a huge mug of hot chocolate, and something else _sweet_ from Barney, before she was sandwiched between the smooth sheets. The spa had made her legs felt a bit like dolphins.

She, as she constantly was these days, was reminded exactly how much she loved and appreciated the awesome man she had married. It was Christmas, and nothing would spoil that. They were Barney, and Robin, and baby.

And she was awake.

Sure, she adored their morning make-out sessions, but one observation of the clock told her it was 12am and time for her and legenbaby to be getting their well needed beauty rest.

She was actually really excited for tomorrow, because Lily was throwing a Christmas party. It had been too long since the entire group had spent Christmas together. Plus, She didn't need her Dad to enjoy Christmas day. She would have all the family she needed, the one who genuinely cared for her, and they'd be enjoying Lily's famous Christmas winter-wonderland in the apartment.

Next year, she was going to have a tiny daughter, and Robin was damn sure that _she _was going to have fun on Christmas. Her own parents refused to believe in 'Corporate holidays', and had thus forced her to spend Christmas learning gun trivia.

She cut off that train of thought. It wasn't what she wanted to think about. Frankly, all she wanted was a little bit more sleep.

"Baby it's midnight."

"Exactly." Barney grinned, somewhat demonically in his hyperactivity.

"Your spawn wants to sleep." She informed him lazily, dragging the duvet back over herself until only her forehead was peaking out. He felt slightly giddy, because she was about to see the surprise, and she looked absolutely adorable hidden beneath the covers.

"It's properly Christmas now. So you can have your present."

"Can my present wait 'til morning?"

"No, Scherbatsky, it most absolutely cannot. When Barney Stinson plans a surprise Christmas present, he delivers it bang on Christmas, ironically, after a bang… up top"

"Have you ever organized a surprise Christmas present before, dear." She asked sarcastically.

"No I have not."

"Hmm,"

"Please?" he begged with more than a hint of childishness. "Please, please _please_?"

He was staring at her longingly, eyes almost sparkling in the lamplight, and damnit, she was caving. She tried hard, really hard not to cave into it, but it was impossible. He'd been so unbelievably lovely to her since what happened with her Dad. Breakfast in bed, flowers- he'd even performed Sandcastles in the sand to her one afternoon (not that that had particularly cheered her up, but it was the thought that counted). She'd been treated to so much stuff, it was the least she could do to stop being grouchy and get up to see what he'd gotten her for Christmas.

"Okay, Stinson. But this had better be good." She cupped his face and pulled him in for a slow kiss. Her middle finger traced the edge of his earlobe as they kissed, and she felt a little wave of love for him. She really was special to him. Most Christmases had been spent trying to find some insecure lay. But now he was arranging her Christmas surprises, and was kissing her like she was the _only _person.

The two of them got up, and he sneaked his arm around her waist. His thumb stroked the creases of her top as they walked from their bedroom to the spare room. Up until then, it had been used as a sort of lounge for all Barney's magic and nerd memorabilia. The room wasn't particularly big, and she didn't have much stuff herself, so she'd never asked him to clear it out. She had absolutely no idea why they were here.

A flash of grey obscured her eyes, and she felt him tying something at the back of her head.

"Barney what the hell!"

"Blindfold." He explained.

"If this is a sex thing then I swear to god…-"

"No. No it's not a sex thing. _Unless_?"

She could tell he was raising an eyebrow, even though she couldn't see him. So she elbowed him.

"Ow, okay, okay. No sex when you wake your sleeping pregnant wife and blindfold her in the early morning. Noted. But behold, for…" she heard the door swing open.

She saw the black of his tie.

"Oh, right… I probably should have told you to close your eyes or somethi- _anyway_… close your eyes."

"My eyes are blindfolded, Barney."

"Just, okay. Okay Robin. _Okay_."

"_Okay_. Consider them closed."

He probably had his tongue sticking out of the corner of his lips as he concentrated on unknotting her blindfold.

"Open them open them open them!"

He sounded like a tiny kid, and she felt him bobbing up and down a little next to her.

So she opened them.

"Barney."

She said it like she'd said his name when he presented her with their cigar, the first one they'd ever smoked together. Only this gesture, this one was more. So much more.

The entire room had been transformed. No longer was it grey, and filled to the brim with all manner of swords, chains, boxes and magic wants. It had been completely re-carpeted, a pale, cream colour. The chrome walls were soft lilac. On one wall was a huge mural, hand painted girl rabbits, ducks, and little beavers in cute white dresses, all hopping over the wall. The cabinets and dressers were also white, propped against them was a hugely obnoxious collection of teddy bears, and stuffed animals lined up against the wall. Fluffy, adult size white emperor penguins, bears, bunnies. To one wall sat a crib, again white, with teddy bear shaped holes engraved on each end. There were soft lilac and pink blankets in it, ready to swaddle legenbaby in. A mobile hung above, with pink and purple glittery flowers, which upon closer inspection turned out to be sat between Canadian maple leaves.

Robin didn't even know what to say. It was beautiful. Everything was so gorgeously delicate, just right for a new baby. The more she looked around, the more she noticed items that she had picked out from websites and magazines.

"Over here is your chair." He gestured to the comfortable sofa style rocking chair next to the exquisite looking changing table. (Since when did anybody find the time and money to get such an exquisite changing table?) "And opposite is mine. So I can watch you breast-feeding… because, hot. And in her wardrobe are her dresses!"

He beamed as he crossed the room and opened the closet like a magician opens the curtains to reveal someone who has 'disappeared'. It exposed the most disgustingly gorgeous array of outfits and costumes: beautiful tiny princess outfits, exact Cinderella replica gowns with soft material that wouldn't scratch. Even a teeny Robin Sparkles costume was visible. She recognized it immediately.

"I know she'll be too little at first, but aren't they just the cutest things and…-" he saw her dazed look, and clocked that she hadn't said anything yet. Why hadn't she said anything?

"You… don't you like it?"

I love it. I love it more than I've loved any gift because this is absolutely divine. Better than any material thing you could have gotten me. Because this shows just how much you adore our baby, and how she's going to get a life I never had, and I'm happy. So brilliantly happy.

She was too stunned to say any of it.

"Damn, I should have asked. I should've let you do it. Should've got Moses basket guy instead of crib guy. Why didn't I paint it _pink_?"

"No, I love it. Really." She assured, moving across the room. She didn't have to fake the raspy intake of breath, or the grin that came with contorted eyebrows, because it was just so emotional for her. Her voice was barely a whisper. "It's perfect."

He turned around, half stunned, half thrilled. "It is?"

"Yeah." She brought her hands up around him, nestling as close to his bare chest as was possible with her bump in the way. She clung to the muscles on his back, and she could feel his hand lightly massaging her hair. "Thankyou, Barney."

"I wanted it lilac, so it was girly… but not too girly, because I know you're not big on the whole 'pink and frilly' thing. But it's pretty. Lil painted the mural."

"Lily did it?" This thing just got more perfect, didn't it?

"Yeah. I told her what I wanted and she painted it. I had to pay her though, although oddly, not in money. I think I might have to be Marshall and Lily's butler their next anniversary."

"I love you," she mumbled to the dip in his cheek.

"I'm glad she's a girl, Robin. You know."

"Yeah I do."

They swayed there for a few moments, his nose tapping into hers. It reminded him of a time when they were pretending to be the perfect couple, when Marshall and Lily were arguing over dishes. She'd worn a yellow-y shirt with puff sleeves, and he'd leant into her and she'd smelt of coconut. Coconut and maple syrup and he loved it. She had also smelt a tiny bit like him, for the first time, and he'd relished in that fact. Robin Scherbatsky was _his. _

She's his now, he thought as she curled her quick fingers around his hipbones. Kissing felt sensitive- lips slipped over one and other carefully. She was scarily good at kissing. All types of kissing. Including inundated with emotion when tired in the early hours of Christmas morning kissing.

Robin's stomach grumbled.

"Damn, the horngryness has returned."

"Good thing I have a snack compartment in my chair."

"Do I have a snack compartment in my chair?"

"No…"

She looked at him accusingly.

"Well I might get hungry whilst watching my little girl getting fed by my other girls." He presented her with a porny grin and nod as he squeezed them.

She kicked him, but not very hard. And she didn't bat his hands away from her 'girls' either. Well, his girls. Not even when he ripped her poor night tee shirt down the cleavage so that he could perform a sleepy, half motorboat.

"You're an idiot." She said, for about the millionth time that month. Her hands kept ruffling through the edges of his hair, and she looked up to the ceiling of the room.

It was littered with stick on stars, a large collection cluttered around the crib. She closed her eyes, knowing that within months, baby Stinson would fall asleep in that room with those stars.

* * *

By 11am the next day, the whole gang was gathered at Lily and Marshall's place. Barney and Robin had managed to call dibs on the entire sofa, cunningly using Robin's pregnancy as an excuse. After all, if she was going to be pushing a 'watermelon sized barneyoid out of her lady parts' (as she so charmingly put it), then she had better at least get to monopolize a few couches.

Lily was busy in the kitchen with some delicious smelling component of the Christmas meal, causing Robin to exercise almost all of her self-control into not stride up and start eating it right then and there.

The lack of couch space left Marshall on one of the chairs, bouncing little Marvin up and down on his knee. The baby was now past one, and had started more advanced babbling. He could manage 'Mama' and 'Dada' quite well, but hadn't quite gotten round to acknowledging the rest of the group. However she was greeted with 'Rob', which was more than enough. Barney often got a 'Ba', but then so did bananas, biscuits, bottles and Lily's boobs, so Barney had to take it with a pinch of salt.

Opposite Marshall and Marvin sat Ted, on the armchair, with Tabby perched on his knee. It made Robin really smile to see them nuzzling noses, and kissing in the most sickeningly sweet way. They were perfect for each other.

Ted had been such an amazing person to Robin ever since he'd met her, always rooting for her happiness no matter what the personal expense. And he himself had so often ended up with nobody. But now, he had never looked more content. Something was different about Tabby. She wasn't the other girls Ted had dated, and dragged along to group events.

He'd known her for less than a year, but there had been absolutely no question as to whether or not Tabby would come to Christmas. Of course she would. It was just… obvious. Tabatha slotted into the gang just as well as Robin herself had all those years ago.

On queue Ted whispered something into the smaller brunette's ear. Her hand was tickling the dark hair behind his ear. They looked so hopelessly in love.

"Dinner in 10!" Lily warned from the kitchen, pointing to the table. She had on a large set of flashing antlers, complete with Rudolph nose. God knows how she could cook with it on.

"Guys, don't mean to rush you, but that means not much time for the Gouda." Marshall supported Marvin in the crook of his arm and offered out the plate to everybody, grinning expectantly as he did so.

"Robin. You know you love the Gouda."

"Oh. Oh… y'know what, I can't. Food aversions. But Barney here." A wide and threateningly impish grin appeared on her lips. "Would _love _some. He'll have mine, won't you _sweetie._"

Barney agreed with a frozen grimace, taking two huge chunks of gouda- along with sturdy, cheese bearing crackers- and munched on one appreciatively.

"Mmm." He nodded at Marshall. Somehow, even the sound of him chewing was sarcastic. The moment his friend looked away, Barney turned to Robin.

"Little minx." He muttered, as she chuckled slyly under her breath.

"Actually, before we eat, Tabatha and I have an announcement to make." Ted stood up, Tabby's fingers intertwined with his. They wore matching nervous smiles, and shared a lingering glance before Ted began to talk again.

"Life is fleeting. But every hour of it spent with one you love makes those fleeting minutes last a lifetime. When you love someone, the time you spend together is like a fresh breath of life. Why, as our friend Oscar Wilde said…-"

"We're getting married." Tabatha cut him off bluntly, leaning up to kiss a somewhat stunted Ted quickly, then beaming round at the rest of the group.

Nobody went to say 'it's too soon.' Or 'you've don't know each other well enough.'

Because Ted and Tabby… well, they were love. It was plaintively obvious to anyone looking at them. They were instantaneous. And they didn't need to have been sweethearts in college, best friends with years of on-again-off-again angst.

Robin and Barney hugged them first, since they were nearest. Lily had dropped the pan she was holding, although the sound was barely heard over Marshall's declaration of 'This calls for more gouda!'

"Group photo." Lily demanded, dismissing Robin's exasperated cry of 'but food.' Said food was transferred to the warm safety of the oven, whilst Lily set up her tripod.

Slightly begrudgingly, Robin shifted up to provide space for other people on the couch. Ted and Tabby ended up in the middle, with Robin and Barney sat to their right on the couch. Marshall took the other side with Lily. Marvin gurgled joyfully in Lily's arms, with Marshall's arm around the both of them. Ted and Tabby were curled close to each other, not even an inch of space between any parts of their bodies. One of Robin's hands sat on her belly, whilst the other linked round Barney's elbow. He pressed her face into hers for the photo purposes.

"Don't want anyone to change places this time?"

"Nope. Everything looks perfect to me." Lily spoke contentedly, wiggling Marvin around to make him smile.

Robin licked her lips and turned to face Barney, who was already watching her. His thumb brushed the new earrings he had bought her as he moved to hold her face and kiss her lightly. He was thinking about what it would be like a year from then.

Legenbaby would be getting a whole truck full of Christmas gifts.

His mouth trailed down his wife's cheek, resting against her jaw lazily for a few seconds. Then he continued to trail the kisses down her neck to that place between her collar. She sighed.

Everything was going to be so new for the whole group. They would all be married; Ted and Tabby would go through with it for certain. Marvin would have a new baby cousin to play with, one who would surely be cuddling up with her truly legendary parents. And yes, it was scary. Massive changes were coming their way.

Lily packed up the camera and hugged every single member of the group, pausing for extra time to hug Robin's stomach in the cheesiest way imaginable.

"Merry Christmas, baby. When you are grown up, and beautiful, and marrying my son… and you had better not elope because I want to be there to cry like Ted- and probably get paid a lot of money, because you just know that your Mommy's gonna bet against this wedding ...- remember that your Aunt Lily is your _favourite_."

Robin rolled her eyes.

The Christmas before last, she'd been utterly alone on a bench, with a stale taste of eggnog on her dry cheeks, and the bitter feel of salt on her wet eyes.

(She'd never have a baby. And that wasn't supposed to bother her, but it _did._)

And then all of a sudden she was in red, dressed to kill, and Barney had gone from barely recognizing her existence to holding her in his arms as their mouths finally, finally met. Snow had tumbled around them, catching on the fairy lights. She was in somebody's arms for the first time in far too long. Barney's. It had been his arms, the ones she had shamelessly craved. And kissing had smelt like roses, tasted like winter.

New things kept happening to her. _Them_.

But new.

New, was _always_ better.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi guys! I'm insanely sorry that this has taken so long to update. I do, actually have an excuse. I had this chapter, and the next, all written out a good while ago, but then my computer crashed and deleted my files. _

_Since then I've just had the worst writers block, and simply didn't want to even start rewriting since I didn't think it would be as good as what I had written before. Then school started up again, and exams are happening, and I've been going through some kind of tough personal stuff, and writing hasn't been a priority. But, I'm feeling a lot better now. _

_And even though I haven't been active, I've been lurking and checking for new fics and updates everyday; seeing new swarkles fics always cheers me up!_

_I'm so sorry you guys felt abandoned, but believe me, it was sooo nice and encouraging to see that people missed the story. Every time I got an alert saying somebody missed it, I felt all fuzzy. I'm hoping I can give you guys an ending soon, but don't worry; I still have a few more chapters before the baby, including this one. Please enjoy, and I'll try to update more regularly now. I love you all, thanks for reading… and do leave a review. I'm pretty unsure about this chapter (I've jammed it all out tonight, so there are probably lots of mistakes), and would adore feedback. Now I'll shut up waffling and let you get to the actual story :)_

* * *

"Robin, sweetie, you know that we love you," Lily began, watching her friend stick a spoon into her lunch. "And _always_ support your choices."

Robin swirled the spoon around nonchalantly, leaning into Barney, who was sat next to her in the booth.

"But I'm going to have to ask you what in the name of god you are about to eat."

She reached past Lily to grab the pepper shaker and looked at it for a couple of seconds. Ignoring the jibe, she loosened the nozzle, then shrugged, proceeding to tip the entire contents into the bowl of mac-and-chili-with-red-vines that she was currently nursing.

"I call gross." The redhead commented, bouncing Marvin slightly on her lap.

"Oh please. Like you didn't eat weirder. I seem to recall a lucky charm and candy corn casserole being consumed."

Barney diverted his eyeline from its usual target of Robin's boobs. "Wow, that's really gross Lil."

She squinted her eyes slightly, as if debating a protest, but she then admitted defeat. Nudging the vinegar away from Robin, she sighed.

"Well played Scherbatsky."

"Then again." Barney peered into his wife's bowl. "So is that."

"You said you were fine with it."

"Yeah, but I wasn't really paying attention."

"What happened to not blanking out during conversations anymore?"

"I wasn't blanking out on _you_." He protested indignantly. "I was just focusing on other… parts… of- well, you."

She glared.

"Don't blame me, blame sparkles and glitter." Her lips twitched, and her arms folder across her chest.

"This is the _last_ time I wear a v-neck."

Barney's expression emoted pure pain, eliciting an extreme eye roll from Robin. After a good few minutes of 'but, boobs', Lily was forced to intervene.

"Speaking of v-necks, I couldn't help but notice that, 'sparkles' and 'glitter' are kind of living up to their names." She nodded to Robin's chest, which was dusted with a light film of silver glitter.

Barney and Robin exchanged shifty looks.

"And you." She leaned closer towards Barney. "Have glitter on your mouth."

Lily spent the next couple of minutes glaring at the couple intently, making sure to display her full disgust. In fact, it took her long enough for Ted and Tabby to turn up, having agreed to meet them for lunch most days now that Robin didn't have to work, and Barney never seemed working even when he _was_ at GNB.

"I think there is only one way to solve this mystery." Ted chipped in, offering Tabby a seat next to Lily, and planting himself on the stool at the head of the booth. "We all know that when there's a crime to solve, the Mosby boys are the ones to call… am I right, guys."

Nobody responded.

"So, what's the crime."

"Barney and Robin have been having creative glittery sex." Lily informed him.

"Is that why they left so early last night?" Ted grimaced, shuffling the barstool away from their side of the booth.

"Oh, god, they were out of breath when they got here."

"New record." Barney displayed a porny grin, before his and Robin's hands slapped together in a high five.

"What am I marrying into?" Tabby asked, somewhat scandalized.

The conversation slipped into wedding planning, something that Barney and Robin had certainly had enough of for a lifetime, so the two of them drifted out of Ted's and Tabby's joint rant about how the poignant architectural features of a wedding venue can reflect the integrity of the couple themselves. As that graduated to the poetic prevalence of window frames, Barney started playing with Robin's shirt. It was dark, dusky pink, made of filmy material- one of his personal favorites. The neckline dipped low, and the sleeves left slits on the shoulders to reveal skin there, too. He was lightly stroking those little parts of her skin that peaked out, suppressing the urge to press his lips to them. When he touched her, she would smile slightly through her spoonful of food.

He was certainly not complaining about the changes in her clothing now that she was on maternity leave. Much as he loved the professional nature of her wardrobe, it was more than refreshing to see her dress more casually. And who was he kidding; he enjoyed the fact that he could see more of her skin. She was flawless. Even pregnant, Robin was pretty damn flawless. More so than Maclaren's new bartender- a leggy, hispanic girl with a short skirt and high pony tail. Usually the type of girl he would be running a play on seconds after he clapped eyes on her. But he didn't want to check her out, because whenever Robin so much as flinched, or sighed, it would draw his entire focus away from pretty much everything else.

It would remind him that she was his wife, and they were having a kid. And somewhere along the line, Barney Stinson had stopped wanting to make random, beautiful bartenders_ his_panic, and started wanting to sit with Robin on their couch watching Juno, whilst she cried and drank slush puppies.

Ted was still burbling about stonework and marble tiling, so Barney decided to make better use of their time by kissing softly down her neck. Robin moved closer to him, and put her hand on his knee. The material creased under her right palm, causing her to grip it even tighter.

"Guys, there is a baby at this table." Lily glanced down to Marvin, who was complacently sucking his thumb. "And I will not have him experience sex education at age 1 in a bar."

"Thought this was a restaurant, Lil," Barney supplied as he reluctantly dropped his hand from his wife's chest.

"I meant restaurant. I think that they have a bar at this _restaurant_."

"Actually, I almost forgot, we got you that marshmallow fluff you asked for." Tabby changed the subject by rustling around in her bag. She then pulled out a jar and put it on the table, to which Robin breathily replied '_score!_' and spooned a helping into the previously abandoned mac and chili.

"What are you eating?"

"Something delicious." She smiled, shoveling it into her mouth. "Want some? Actually, are you eating those chips?" She poked the bag that Ted was sharing with Tabatha.

"Not anymore."

He moved his stool further away. Robin sprinkled some of the chips on top of the pasta, which she didn't have much trouble mixing marshmallow fluff into.

"So, my cravings are a little weird. But there is no way that guys could deal with being pregnant. Back me up here, Lil."

"It's true. No dude could ever, and I mean ever, have what it takes to cart a giant alien around in your womb…. oh Barney, _no_…-"

"Challenge accepted!"

"That was not a cha-"

"I, Barney Stinson, will… Robin, just, I'm doing a challenge, so can we just- okay?"

She released her grip on his suit. "If you find someway to impregnate yourself then I am never going near your barnana again, we clear Stinson?"

Barney studied her expression. She sucked in the side of her cheek a little, bringing her water smoothly to her lips. Sure, watching Barney try lord knows what to simulate pregnancy would be funny, but she wasn't in the mood at the moment. Yes, she had sworn that she would never succumb to pregnancy moodiness, but frankly, she didn't feel too bothered about that anymore. She had a perfect right to be cranky, since she was currently enjoying a plethora of uncomplimentary snacks, which she could easily balance on her stomach if she wanted.

Pregnancy was most certainly not easy. Of course, she knew that it wouldn't be, but when she'd worried about getting pregnant before, back when she was first dating, it had been having the actual child that was the biggest issue. All of the petty little complaints that many mothers to be had ranted about to her suddenly didn't seem trivial. Her back was the main problem. Recently, it had started hurting way more than she'd ever experienced before, and Barney, although supportive about a lot of other things, had been fairly dismissive.

She didn't want to become that irritable, housewife character that seemed to occur frequently in movies and television. And yes, normally, Barney's challenges where a great source of amusement to her. Right from when they'd first been friends, she'd secretly enjoyed his crazy challenges and plays. It had amazed her how absolutely determined he was to complete these utterly insane acts just to impress people. Perhaps it was a cry for help, but the most part of her couldn't dispute the fact that it was actually pretty damn awesome.

Although then, she wasn't pregnant. She might want to go on crazy adventures, but she's tired now. What she really needs is to go home, with her husband… to do what Barnman and Robin do best. Then eat ice-cream together, argue about baby names and fall asleep in the curve of Barney's chest.

That couldn't happen if he was off on a wild goose chase.

"So, I can't accept the challenge."

"Absolutely not."

His brow furrowed, debating the options. On one hand, denying a challenge was not in his character. On the other hand… he didn't much feel like strapping an infant to his suit. This time a few years ago he had realized that finding a baby guy at short notice was no easy task.

Plus Robin didn't want him to. And, he supposed, making sure Robin got what she wanted was more important than a challenge.

Moodily, he sat himself back at the booth. Robin cocked an eyebrow slyly, as if to say, one point to Scherbatsky. They'd definitely be having their own fun tonight. Sure, her back hurt, but that wasn't going to stop them from enjoying themselves. And she loved him for listening to her, too.

"But… um, we're still having Robin Daggers sex later, right?" He murmured close to her hair. That made her chuckle slightly, pulling him closer by the tie.

"Of course."

"_Excellent_."

* * *

The next day, Barney was late home. And not just a half hour or so late; that would not be enough to bother Robin. She was perfectly content with being alone, and was currently leafing through a baby names book, still feeling kind of at a loss when it came to names.

She had been finding it hard to narrow one down, because all the ones Barney liked, she didn't, and half the ones she liked, Barney had hooked up with. It was becoming increasingly difficult to fall upon the perfect name for legenbaby. After all, this was what their daughter would go by for the rest of her life. It was important.

She especially knew how much names could mean, because she had always detested her boy's middle name- that had caused her to be the brunt of countless jokes when she was a little kid. It _was_ a big deal to have a normal name, but Robin also wanted their baby to be called something original. Something special. Sickeningly sentimental as it was, she wanted it to mean something. Whilst reading, she had picked up a few names that she really liked, but that when she really thought about them, they didn't feel quite _right._

For example, she had been set on Sofia for a while, then Evie, then Piper. But then she'd feel little kicks from her belly and realize that those names weren't just n_ames_. They would become the most valuable name to her. Her _daughter's_ name.

Then all of a sudden, none of the ones she liked felt good enough.

Placing the book on top of her stomach, she sighed slightly, and reached over to the coffee table to get her mug of hot chocolate. She blew on it for a moment, just letting her lips rest on the tip of the cup and feel the warmth almost radiating from the contents. She could almost taste the chocolate without sipping.

Then she leant back and drank, not really stopping to taste the drink, just enjoying the feel of it flowing down her neck and meeting her chest.

Barney was about 2 hours late, now. She didn't like to fuss, but she couldn't help herself but worry a bit. If he was going to be late, he would have texted her. Even just the word l8. But he _would _have texted.

She brushed some hair behind her ear and put the mug back on its coaster as she got up. Her hands smoothed down her knitted sweater, which was one of her favorites for wearing around the house. It had been oversized when she bought it, but it now pulled taught across the bump. Yet, it remained snug and comfortable. She liked the longs sleeves, and being able to pull them down over her hands. January was particularly cold- for the wimps of America- so the wintery attire felt appropriate. Plus Barney weirdly loved it. She didn't want to ask why, but knitwear was an odd turn on.

In fact, she was just about to go out to look for him at the bar, when she heard the click of the door.

"Hey baby," She smiled, turning to face him, and walking into his embrace. They kissed, and she cupped his face as usual, stroking his neck with her thumb and ruffling his hair with her fingers as they leaned deeper into the kiss.

This lasted a good few minutes, and she could feel them progressing towards the bedroom. She herself was all to eager to take it there. However Barney wasn't moving, and she managed to catch her breath long enough to consider that he might have been late for a reason.

"Mmm," she murmured softly after they broke apart, running her hands all over the front of his coat. It was long and black, and it was actually kind of out of character that he hadn't shrugged it off immediately when he got through the door.

"What's with the coat?"

"Ah. The coat. Prepare for," he cocked one eyebrow, stepping back theatrically. "Empathy….-wait for it….- belly."

The silence could easily have been cut with one of Ted and Marshall's swords.

"_Empathy belly._"

"Oh, I heard."

He had ripped open the coat to reveal a large strap on stomach contraption.

"_What in the name of_ god _is that_."

"An empathy belly." He explained proudly.

Robin clenched her teeth.

"A _what_?"

"An empathy belly. I got it online. It simulates pregnancy. You get them if you're like… an angry bitchy mother of quintuplets who wants to make her significant other suffer… or- to educate school kids and stop them from doing the dirty, _or_ if you're a freak with a pregnancy feti-"

"Okay stop, stop. Our baby can hear stuff outside the womb. I'm not having pregnancy fetish be in her subconscious memory."

"Well… it is now you said it."

She glared.

"What does that thing even do, other than bring the death of all lady boners?"

"So lady boner is fine but pregna… okay, ow." He rubbed the spot where she had hit him on his upper arm. "It simulates kicking, it presses on your bladder, it makes your back hurt and stuff."

"Why exactly are you doing this? Believe me, that stuff is not fun."

Barney looked at Robin. "I… guess… well,- you see Robin- I accepted a challenge. When Barney Stinson accepts a cha-"

"I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch tonight, if being pregnant is so easy."

"But R-train!" he moaned, beginning to go after her.

"No. You do something nasty, B-nasty, then you will be taking the R-train to the couch. Have fun tonight."

* * *

When she got up, Robin left the house before Barney. It wasn't that she was really mad at him, more that he had blatantly gone against her wishes.

Normally, the empathy belly thing would have kind of amused her, but he knew that she did not want him to do anything like that. And he knew that she could really do with some sympathy at the moment. She was tired out all the time, her back was killing her, and all she really wanted was some affection from him. Now, Barney was no expert when it came to reading signs, but she had made it pretty damn clear.

So she didn't bother to wake him from the couch as she left. She planned to do some shopping for the baby. After all, there was still a ton of stuff they needed to get. Barney's surprise nursery covered pretty much everything, but he had forgotten some of the more practical items. Plus, she'd always want to keep spoiling the baby.

So she spent a few hours just idly browsing, and then another half hour getting tacos and pizza; she'd needed to sit down (plus legenbaby seemed to have eaten all of her breakfast). By the time she'd picked up an absolutely adorable kid novel, it was the time the gang usually met up for lunch.

She had got a cab, and still arrived about 15 minutes late. Without doubt, she thought she would be the last one there, but Barney still hadn't arrived.

It took him another 10. And he looked awful.

"God, can you just have some respect!" Barney moaned as he shoved some young people at the bar out of the way so he could get to the gang, where everybody was already occupying the seats.

"Does this day get any more cruel?"

"Hi Barney," Lily crooned, being the only one who was able to control laughter. "You want my seat."

"Yes!"

"Well you can't have it, you sonofabitch."

Barney's face crumbled.

"Hey… Barney," Marshall began, between giggles. "Is that a giant melon in your pocket or are you just pleased to see us."

"I hate all of you." He muttered, about to stalk off. Tabby took pity on him.

"Here you go, Barn. You can have my seat."

"Thankyou _Tabatha._"

"Aaw, c'mon Tabby." Lily and Marshall complained, whilst Tabby perched herself half on Ted.

"What. I think you're all being horrible to Barney." She began through muffled laughter. "And besides," she spoke behind her hand, like she was telling a secret. "I hear you're not supposed to piss off a pregnant woman."

Ted reached from behind to accept her high five.

"Are you enjoying being pregnant then, sweetie." Robin piped up.

"No." Barney seethed, resembling a grumpy child after having his Gameboy confiscated.

"And why's that?"

"Um… let me see. Oh, yeah. My back hurts. My feet hurt. I need to pee. All the time. I had to do a conference call from the _toilet_. My fake baby will not pause what seems to be a very aggressive kickboxing match."

Lily had to stuff a sandwich in her mouth to stop herself from actually squealing.

"Sandwich?" Ted offered the plate.

"How can I eat, Ted. I'm hormonal."

"Now, now Barney." Marshall grinned. "It's important for a mom to be to get a full meal."

"I don't want a full meal. Look at me. I'm fat. I'm positively repulsive. The hot intern that normally flirts with me like a hillbilly trying to bribe her way to prom queen at the hoedown didn't even look at me. Actually, she did, and it was with disgust, Marshall. _Disgust_. I'm like a whale."

Robin chewed on the side of her lip, not liking where this conversation was going.

"I've lost my bangability, guys."

"Aw, honey, I'm sure you'll get it back." Lily comforted, the corners of her mouth still twitching.

"No, I won't. Nobody is ever going to want to sleep with me. I'm unbangable."

"And I'm leaving." Robin stated, grabbing her purse and getting up. She placed a ten-dollar bill next to Lily, and told her to pay for lunch. Then she left Maclarens, got into the nearest available cab, and didn't even bother to hold back from crying.

* * *

Barney didn't follow her.

It sucked, and it seemed really pathetic and attention seeking, but she really wanted him to follow her.

She wanted him to run after her, and rip that stupid empathy thing off and hold her. Apologize.

And even if she had told him to leave her alone, she would have felt so much better knowing he had come.

Only, he hadn't.

She waited at home. 1, 2, 3 hours. She dried her eyes, and took a hot bath to try to soak away some of the back pain, and also some of the words Barney had said earlier.

Was she really _unbangable?_

Yeah, she was aware that she was typically more attractive before she got pregnant. And she had felt insecure about it, right before she got the bump. But they'd talked about it. He'd promised her that he would never feel that way about her. To him, she would always be beautiful, and hot, and he wouldn't stop looking at her and wanting her once she got bigger.

She really had believed him.

Not only that, but she liked her new figure. She hadn't once felt ugly and insecure about it. Yeah, she wasn't a fan of the back pain and swollen ankles, but all in all, she was happy. Barney and her were having sex possibly more than before, and they were just as physically close. All that love and attraction and chemistry was still there. At least, to her, it was still there.

Maybe it was just hormones and emotions, but she could not deal with hearing him say that pregnancy was repulsive, disgusting. That hurt. Him implying that every time they had been _together_ since she had started showing, he'd been faking being into it? Or had actively been disgusted by her body.

That sucked. No, worse than sucked. It genuinely pained her to think that.

She leant her head back onto the towels she had placed at the side of the bath. Water was smooth between her fingers, almost non-existent. She splashed a little onto her face so as to conceal the tears that were slowly trickling down.

For the first time, she actually kind of hated being pregnant. All of it, all of the crankiness and weight gain and hunger and back pain suddenly seemed to boil down to breaking point.

She was sick of it, sick of Barney not seeming to care. And if he was disgusted by the way she looked? That just did it.

Just whilst she closed her eyes, she could just be her. She thought back to being independent Robin. Who didn't want a family or a baby or any of this. Robin who felt confident and happy with the way she was, and didn't need a husband to validate the way she looked and certainly didn't give two craps about giving up her life for 9 months to grow a kid.

Then she heard something.

"Hey Robin." Barney was stood in the door.

She clenched her eyes tighter shut. She felt like she was on the verge of a major crisis, and just did not know what to do.

"Go away."

"Robin, I-"

"Go. Away."

"Robin please, can we just"

"Damnit Barney, could you just leave me alone."

He seemed taken aback, and even without seeing him, she could sense it. She opened her eyes, and sat up, realizing that she probably had mascara stains smeared all over her face.

"Hell, why are you even here? Why are you even _here_ if it's so disgusting to look at me? If I'm so repulsive that you can't even stand to be near me. Barney, I'm tired of this." She stopped, trying to get control over her jittery breathing. "In fact, I'm just tired. I'm tired all the time. And hungry. And my back is killing me and I can't fit into heels any more and my head is thumping half the time and I can't seem to stop being ridiculously needy and I hate it. I hate… _being_ like this. I'm getting fat _all the time_ and I didn't care if it was for our baby, but if you don't want me anymore? I don't know what I want. Barney, I don't know if I can want this anymore."

At first she had sounded angry. But as she kept talking, her voice got less aggravated and more upset, until at the end, it wasn't far from a cry for help. It would have been better if she screamed at him than this. Instead of quiet, miserable words. She wasn't blocking him out, she was addressing him, and she was saying she was done.

Her voice was small, and on the verge of cracking. It sounded like it might shatter at any moment.

Barney could have kicked himself.

"Robin…- look."

"No, I don't want to look. You, go finish your challenge or something. Just leave me."

He surveyed the scene. Half of the bubbles were fading away leaving patches of water peaking through. Robin looked completely exhausted. She was silently crying, her mouth shaking and her forehead clenched as more wet drops fell down her face. Her hands were tightly gripping the sides of the bath, and it looked as though she might never let go.

Tentatively, he touched one of her hands. He spoke as softly as he could.

"Robin."

She said nothing, but she didn't flinch.

Barney tried to summon up the right thing to say. The whole situation was new to him. He'd never been in a situation like this before. He had definitely messed up, but he knew that it wasn't today that had done this. It was her hormones and her feelings and she deserved to rant and he needed to be a husband and deal with it.

But the idea, just the idea of him not being attracted to her? Him not thinking she was the sexiest, most gorgeous woman on the planet?

It was a joke.

"Why…- are you _laughing_? Is this _funny_ to you?"

"Yeah, actually. I can't help find it funny that you could possibly think that I don't find you attractive."

"Yeah, because I'm just _so_ sexy right now."

"Are you kidding me? Robin, you are the sexiest person alive. Pregnant or not. And just because a guy with a strapped on pregnancy simulator and a crooked back because his wife sensibly kicked his stupid ass onto the couch that night looks a disgusting mess does not mean for one second that you do."

"But I'm _pregnant_."

"I know." Barney smiled. One of those smiles that don't happen often, and were almost always only for Robin. The types of slow smiles that reach his eyes and make crinkles appear around his cheeks.

"I love that you're having a baby, Robin. There isn't anything more awesome than that. That is a whole new level of awesome. In fact, it even pushes legendary. The fact that you can spend a night giving our baby a home makes every legendary night, every conquest and every adventure I've ever had look like nothing."

She shifts to look at him better, a small amount of hope returning to her.

"Right now I know that I have a family. And they are the two most important women in my life, only right now one of them is a baby, and they're living inside you. And incase you didn't get the memo, Scherbatsky; you're the other most important. You are everything. And if you tell Lily I said that then I will deny it to the grave and I'll tell about that time you made us do it in Marvin's nursery. But there is nothing in the freaking galaxy more sexy than you right now."

"Even though I'm fat?"

"Um, the only fat I see is the bit that's encasing my offspring and oh right, those ginormous boobs that are currently bare and do you have any idea how hard it is not to jump you right now? Because it's real. Freaking. Hard. Pun intended. Pun very much intended."

Robin laughed at that. He'd always find a way to sneak a laugh out of her.

"I'm crazily in love with you Robin. And you are hot. Mind blowingly hot. And the only thing that disgusts me is the idea of going any length of time without banging like rabbits. And the fact that you put up with all that crap just makes you about 10 times more infinitely awesome. I couldn't put up with the back pain for a day. You've put up with it for months, and mine wasn't even a real baby."

He moved nearer to her, so that he could reach out and start running his hands over her shoulders, and then he moved one up to cup her face.

"You know, I think, that maybe, if the most awesome guy in the world can't get through that… then maybe that makes you the most awesome."

Robin caught her breath, their lips inches from each other now.

"I'm more awesome than you?"

"I think I knew you were more awesome than me since we played battleships."

Robin sat up properly now. Her mood swing seemed to be dying out, and she just wanted to dry off and sort this out with Barney.

"You wanna know why?"

Robin shrugged nonchalantly, but she was smiling.

"Because you turned me down. You were beautiful, incredible, hilarious, and you knew about cigars and scotch and I kind of felt like I'd found something. And you had enough self respect to focus on what you wanted out of life than some cheap bang that believe me, I wanted. I think I might have loved you a little bit back then."

Robin shifter herself further towards him in the bath. Around her, the water swirled noisily because of the movement, and the bubbles displaced. She closed her eyes and moved her hands down to her belly.

"I know this doesn't sound like me, but the more this baby kicks, the more I love it."

Barney reached further, daring now to touch her properly. He wrapped one arm completely around her, smoothing it on her back. He used the other one to trace kisses across her neck, then down to her shoulder, all the while moving his fingers in tiny patters down her spine. Unfortunately, he had to lean at an extremely uncomfortable angle to get to her in their bathtub, but he managed. However, his suit didn't manage to escape certain amounts of damage from the water and bubbles.

"Oh, your suit." She noticed, retreating from the hug. "I'm sorry, I was totally wrecking it."

At that, he climbed into the bath, fully clothed, and kissed her.

He kissed her so that she'd forget that she was upset and she'd forget all the other crap, because the only important, the only truly important thing was that she felt loved. His hands were hungry, grabbing onto her back, then her hair, and then smoothing back to her waist. It was frantic, and then it was slower, and then he was on top of her entirely, drenched through and sliding his lips over hers unrelentingly. Somewhere amidst the kissing and her moaning and the splashing of the bathwater, Barney muttered 'You are better than suits' into a curl of her wet hair. Candle light from the tea lights Robin had set up for herself hit the water as they just kept kissing, losing track of everything other than their mouths each other.

* * *

Robin woke up to the highly enticing smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. Despite being sleepy and extremely comfortable, the baby seemed to be on the prowl for some breakfast, and even the warm duvet didn't seem enough to keep her from the smells of chocolate and maple syrup, which were growing increasingly stronger.

Stretching her legs and pulling herself out of the bed, she started to remember more about what happened last night. Crying in the bath. Saying she didn't want to do this anymore. Being comforted by Barney.

It all seemed stupid now, that something as utterly trivial as an empathy belly could have set her off, but it did. It just her, and then all the buried problems that she wouldn't normally be thinking about came tumbling out.

She reached her hand back to click her back, and noticed that she was wearing one of Barney's shirts. It was quite a significantly too big for her around the arms, but then the buttons were strained at her middle. A glance in the mirror before she left the room made her smile.

She actually did look pretty good. Yeah, she didn't have the body of a Victoria's secret model, but even with the awkward shirt and messed up hair, she liked the way she looked. She still looked like Robin, and being honest, she'd never doubted her looks. Unlike Ted and those red cowboy monstrosities, she was pulling this off.

Being pregnant, and about to go get breakfast from her husband felt really, really good.

More memories of last night surfaced, and she remembered the amazing speech from Barney. He sure could be a douche when he wanted to, but he also knew how to make her feel amazing.

"Morning B-nasty." She greeted him as she padded through to the kitchen, positioning herself on one of the stools they had in the kitchen.

"Damn you and your heightened sense of smell. I was planning on surprising you."

"Your first mistake was trying to hide double chocolate pancakes from a pregnant woman. And from your ventures into the world of womanhood yesterday, I'd have thought you'd remember." Robin teased, reaching across to grab the spoon and batter bowl from the side.

"I was hoping we could forget about that." He muttered darkly.

"Oh we are never forgetting that. Marshmallow and Lilypad got pictures, and I'm planning on one day combining a whole movie of embarrassing Barney moments. And showing it to your mother. I was thinking we might call it 'Wuv Wuv and the sex swing.'"

Barney chuckled under his breath at that, then stopped himself. "_No._ No Wuv wuv, no sex swing, you little minx. How'd you even get that on tape? I destroyed them all."

Robin raised her eyebrows elusively, spooning some more pancake mix into her mouth. "You ain't the only one with hidden cameras, Stinson."

Barney smiled proudly at that, dishing up the pancakes onto a large plate in the middle, carefully pouring the perfect ratio of toppings on, just the way Robin liked it. Little did he know, that was a huge waste of time. As soon as Robin got them, she adorned them with a large dollop of mayonnaise.

"No comment on the mayo?" she tested.

"Nope. I told you last night. You're awesome."

"Yeah, well. Don't sell yourself short. Bath sex last night, I swear, I thought at one point our souls reached entwined enlightenment."

He smirked again, nodding in agreement with his favourite pervert grin, the sort than made his nose crinkle up quite a lot.

"But seriously, thanks for last night." She reached across to hold his hand with the hand that she wasn't using to combine batter and mayonnaise. "I really needed that."

They sat and talked for a while, and Barney made himself some pancakes, which Robin ended up eating most of. When he finally cooked up a third batch and downright placed them in front of her, she narrowed her eyes.

"Wow. You're really trying to butter me up. Literally. How much butter is in this?" He pulled a face "I'm so going to pay for this once this baby makes an appearance."

"Appearance? What, is she gonna come out theatrically or something."

She shrugged, subconsciously beginning on the plate of food. "I don't know. I mean, she's yours… I'm half expecting her to fly out on a rocket playing a guitar solo."

"And that is why I love you."

Robin swallowed her mouthful, and rubbed Barney's hand with her thumb.

"I love you too."

* * *

Later on, Robin was heading out to get coffee. She had been out shopping that day, again. She'd been trying to wean herself off stuffed animal purchases, but the soft, squashy puppy plush was just screaming at her from the windows.

She'd done something else, too. It had actually been a really huge step for her. See, she was beyond glad her and Barney had made up, plus totally solid in her love and excitement for the baby. But she still felt kind of guilty for her freaking out. And most of all, she felt like she hit a turning point today, and it called for her to do something she had been wanting to do ever since she went to the doctors and found out for sure.

She bought the Canadian onsie.

It shouldn't have been such a big deal, but to Robin, it was.

Because that time, that month… that day when she found out that not only was the baby that she might have had wasn't there, that she wouldn't ever get one.

She never properly sorted out those emotions, she never properly filed them and got closure on her infertility. There are just a lot of nasty, dark memories of sobbing in her room, clinging to her self and holding her skinny frame as she mourned the loss of something she had always insisted she never wanted.

All she knew was that there was a lot of hurt, and a lot of denial, and a lot of feeling like she was loosing that fun loving, independent, vibrant person that she used to be. Even in the way she walked, that year had felt like a cold, frozen over burden.

The crux of it, at least to her…- was going in that store and buying that onsie.

Barney kept suggesting going back, but she kept managing to come up with an excuse. She just didn't want to see it, and have to deal with those feelings and link them to the new ones. New ones were she definitely was going to be a mother, and she was pregnant, and she was doing everything to keep her baby safe and healthy. This version of Robin loved her child, and she didn't want to have to confuse it with the memory of that baby that never even existed, yet symbolized so much for her.

But today, she had bit her tongue, and bought it. She was done thinking about the past. Barney and her were so, brilliantly happy. The latest ultra sound gave them a 4d video, one that Barney liked to force upon anybody he knew that would listen. Even Lily was getting sick of seeing it, and she stole and framed the first ultrasound Barney showed her.

Ridiculous mushiness set aside, they felt like a family. And she might as well give the adorable onsie a new memory.

She had felt so positive heading towards that coffee shop. It was ironic, actually. Her head was full to the brim with happy ideas and plans for the baby. Finally, she had found the courage to box up the past and push it away. She really was done with all of that. What she cared about now was the gang. All of them, Marvin, legenbaby, and any future additions included.

Each piece of crap from that year did not concern Robin Scherbatsky any more. She was never dealing with it again.

It made her feel warm.

Except, as she was about to order her usual hot chocolate, double shot, she just _had _to be there, in the queue, at the exact same time as her ex-fiancé. The man who reminded her the most of the infertility, and that awful year, and the man who she broke up with- despite him being absolutely in love with her- because she'd never have kids. And she had almost forced him to give her up, give up their life, because she would never, ever have a family. Through adoption, or surrogacy, or treatments.

_Never._

Yet here she stood, with him looking straight at her. Full stomached, clutching a we-b-babies bag next to the rest of her shopping.

It was Kevin.


	10. Chapter 10

Every part of Robin wanted to run when she saw Kevin. Just drop everything and sprint past him. Out of that coffee shop, and out of his life. Heck, she _was_ out of his life. She hadn't seen him since they broke up, and she had hoped it would stay that way.

Honestly, she hated looking back to her relationship with Kevin. She always felt slightly guilty. Like she'd been using him. Not that she _had_ been using him… but it always felt that way. For the entire duration of their relationship, she had been in love with Barney. There were times when she'd repressed it, and even a few weeks where she was able to deny it completely. But she had been.

She hadn't ever really forgiven herself for that night. Robin Scherbatsky hadn't _cheated_ on anyone before. To her, infidelity was such a weak, cowardly thing. Especially since the incident with Ted and Victoria, Robin _detested_ the idea of cheating on somebody who cared about you. It was something she vowed that she would never see herself wrapped up in.

Only, when she was in that car with Barney, the smell of scotch and familiarity only inches away from her lips, nothing else mattered. It was her, and it was him- and no matter how many times she insisted to herself that Kevin was great, kissing Barney felt like coming home.

Actually it was more than coming home. It was so raw, and for want of a better word, passionate. All the tension that they'd tried to ignore just crashed together in the back of a slightly unhygienic cab. Everything had moved in a genuine blur. Time didn't matter, accuracy didn't matter; it certainly was not the best sex she'd ever had. Yet it was real. It was immediate, just the two of them finally together, nothing off limits.

She hated that she didn't get back together with Barney that night. She hated that she had picked Kevin because she was scared, and he was lovely.

Barney wasn't reliable. What they had… it was a risk. Back then she was terrified of risks.

So she let herself be with Kevin for that long. Half their relationship she wasn't fully honest with him, and she allowed him to adore her when she didn't love him back. It felt like she had wasted his time.

She was a big roadblock to his happiness. Because Kevin _deserved_ happiness. He wanted that big textbook lifestyle: wife, kids, and picket fence. All she had done was delay him when it came to finding the girl, and probably give him additional months of heartbreak over her.

It wasn't fair. She got over him pretty lightning fast, but there was sometimes still a part of her that reminded herself that it wasn't fair.

Now, though, he was here again. Their relationship seemed like a million years ago to Robin, but to him…

What if Kevin never found the girl? What it he was still looking for his family, and still wishing and praying that the first woman he proposed to had been able to have kids?

She had drilled it into him that she would never give anybody a child in any way, shape or form. And that she didn't ever want any means of a family life.

However now she is standing like a deer in headlights in a coffee shop, clutching her drink and staring at him. Extremely and indisputably pregnant.

The urge to run seemed increasingly appealing as she realized he was approaching him, but it wasn't an option. She had a ton of bags, a hot drink, and was currently waddling like a duck in a nappy. There was no way she was running from the counter to the seat, let alone all the way home.

She gulped, and smiled as Kevin approached. Slightly dazed, she waved… and let him lead her to a table. She sat hesitantly down opposite, not quite knowing what was next.

* * *

In the brief amount of time it took Robin to enter the coffee shop and find herself enjoying a catch up with the ex-fiancée she never thought she would see again, it had started haling heavily. She watched as the hale pelted against the window she was sat against, admiring the sheer force of the compact balls of ice.

"Robin? You okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah." Robin laughed unnaturally, snapping out of her daydream. She was here. With Kevin.

Right. _Kevin. _

"Look, I get it if you want to shout at me. I mean, I'd want to shout at me. I know we didn't really get closure on the break up… and I know I said I was never having kids. This, this whole" she broke off, taking a breath of air "everything. This all just sort of…- happened. And I can explain it, I just… I get it if you're angry."

"Woah. Slow down." Kevin smiled, sipping his soy latte. "I'm not angry with you Robin."

"I mean obviously you're goi- wait. You're not?" She was genuinely taken aback.

Kevin seemed completely calm, putting his coffee cup down. He pulled at the sweater he was wearing over a checkered shirt. It was dark maroon, and the shirt was grey and white. Robin couldn't help think that he looked much happier than when they were together.

"So… what…" she trailed off.

"What do I want to talk about?" She nodded. "I don't know. I mean, I didn't really expect to see you today. I didn't expect to see you ever, to be honest."

Robin laughed, still a little nervous. She sipped her hot chocolate intently, gulping it down, leaving the cup at her mouth a fair bit longer than necessary so that she could avoid the awkwardness for longer.

"How are you doing?" He asked. "Well, obviously…" he gestured to her rounded stomach.

"Right! Yeah. You… probably want an explanation for that, huh." She mumbled.

"Just want to know how you've been. I mean, it's been two years. You're married, pregnant- clearly you met someone great."

"I didn't meet them." She watched his brow crinkle in confusion. "I'd already met them."

Kevin raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"Barney." The corners of her lips twitched upwards as she said his name.

Kevin chuckled at that, fairly out of the blue. "What?" Robin asked, somewhat offended, but Kevin quickly stopped her.

"No, it's just kind of ironic, you'll get it when I tell you how I've been. But go on."

Robin bit her lip. Did she really want to talk to Kevin about everything that had happened since they broke up? It was weird enough already, without explaining the details of her and Barney getting back together. She could just explain about getting pregnant, but the story wasn't half as awesome without the build up.

She sucked on the inside of her cheek and tapping her nails against the ceramic mug.

Kevin might as well know the whole story, she decided.

He had been a big part of her life, and she was sure she had been a pretty important part of his. She felt like she owed him answers. Anyway, she wasn't sure if it was the therapist thing or not, but being sat in the comfy leather sofa chair of Starbucks, Robin felt very ready to talk.

The moment she started talking, she didn't stop.

"Well, when we broke up, Barney was starting to see this stripper called Quinn. He really liked her. It was clear why; they were basically the same person. She's gorgeous, devious, sexy… she actually helped me with Barney's bachelor party, _excellent girl_…- but that's not the point. I kind of hated her at the time. They got engaged, see, around the time Lily had Marvin."

"Lily had the baby!" Kevin pushed in, burning his mouth on the coffee in excitement. Robin completely forgot that he was involved with Lily and Marshall preparing for Marvin.

"Yeah. Little boy called Marvin, and he's adorable. I've got pictures, actually." She smiled and patted the cell phone shape in her pocket. "So anyway, Barney proposed to Quinn in the most ridiculous way- a magic show at the airport. It was after he basically abandoned her and then she redecorated his house in pink."

Kevin snorted.

"In her words, it was like 'the inside of Tinkerbelle's vagina'… you know I really should call Quinn." Robin shook herself, making a mental promise not to get sidetracked. Since he was her old therapist, Kevin knew about her tendencies to go off track when telling a story. She cringed at the memory of her first session, most of which she spent talking about Lily and Marshal instead of herself.

"I was pretty cut up, even though I was seeing a guy called Nick. Barney said he'd destroyed all the evidence him and me were ever a couple, which I think was when I really realized I still loved him. It just hurt so much." She paused. "He hadn't gotten rid of it, though. Just stored it in this box in a unit, all full of pictures and memories. Like these toy beavers from my pop career; you remember him showing you Robin Sparkles."

"I still tell people I used to date a Canadian teen star."

"Yeah," she chuckled, and then reverted back to the topic of the box. "I've gotta admit, I cried. Seeing it all shoved away, literally taped up. But I knew I had to move on, even though it sucked, because what I wanted most was for Barney to be happy. I got over it, and Nick and I were doing okay. Then Barney broke up with Quinn, and eventually I broke up with Nick. Barney broke us up, actually. He did this whole speech about loving me. It was crazily romantic, but afterwards he acted like he faked it."

"Knowing him, I doubt it was fake." Kevin assured, and Robin smirked knowingly.

"You'd better listen carefully for the next part."

She proceeded to explain all of the steps of 'The Robin', right up to the rooftop.

"So let me get this straight, he wasn't actually dating Patrice."

"Yup."

"And this is _damnit _Patrice, the one you hate."

Robin's eyes narrowed, lip jerking.

"_Why do people always think I hate Patrice_."

"Do you want the therapist version… or the person about 20 blocks away who heard you screaming version."

She pulled a face, quickly moving on. "I was on this rooftop, having read his play, standing in what was virtually a ball-gown under mistletoe. And then he just appeared. Of course, I yelled at him."

Kevin edged closer.

"He asked me to marry him."

"And?" Kevin was openly invested in the story. Robin smiled, casually resting her hand on her stomach as she took another sip from her mug.

"I said yes."

He grinned broadly. Kevin had always been a romantic.

"Y'know… I actually thought about that thing you said to me once. That I was stopping myself from being happy. When I was on that rooftop, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My favourite spot in the city… roses, candles, fairy lights. Barney, who I'd been in love with for god knows how long asking me to _marry _him. In my head, I was searching for reasons to say no. All my ranting, I wanted to turn him down. But he got on his knee, and I really did contemplate saying no. Then I thought about what you said, and I realized that there was no reason at all for me to say no to Barney."

Kevin was almost full out beaming by this point. He adjusted the strap of his watch a little, checking that he had time to hear the rest.

"When we kissed, it actually started snowing. Don't look at me like that, I'm not kidding. It was like a freaking movie. Barney put the ring on my finger and I just felt so _happy_."

"I'm really glad, Robin."

It occurred to her that she had basically just ranted her entire recent life story to Kevin. She hadn't bothered to ask if he was in a rush, or ask him any questions. Suddenly feeling a surge of guilt, she started babbling.

"I've just poured out every event of the last year and I haven't even asked you anything… you must be pretty freaked out. Please don't check me in for sessions or something…"

"I'm not freaked out. And I'm not done asking questions, either. I want the full account of what happened next."

"Well, if you want an account of our wedding weekend, then we will be here 'til next year. I'm pretty sure that with all that happened, you could make it into a freaking TV show."

"I've got a lot of time."

"Not that much. I don't want my baby to be born in a coffee shop whilst I recount the tale of Barney's ring bear."

"Ring bear_er_?"

Robin sighed. "Oh, how I wish it were. But no. Ring bear."

Kevin scoffed at that. If any person would ride down the aisle on a wild animal, it would be Barney Stinson. Weirdly, even though Barney was one of the main wedges in his relationship with the woman opposite, he kind of missed hanging out with him. And the entire gang.

Catching up with Robin really brought all those memories back. He had once thought that seeing her again would be too painful, but hearing about Robin's happiness was making him feel so, so great.

However there was one thing he needed to ask. Subtly, of course, he knew it was a sensitive topic. He just really wanted to know about the baby.

"So, you're pregnant. I don't mean to be rude… but I thought that..-"

"I couldn't have any." Robin stated bluntly, accompanied with a dry smile. "Yeah, so did I. And I was perfectly okay with it."

Kevin looked at her. It was hard to turn his therapist tap off when in normal conversation, so he'd noticed how protective she seemed of the baby. The way she held herself, the little gestures that normal people mightn't have picked up on.

He didn't want to invade her privacy, especially considering he was an ex, and they hadn't spoken in years. But truthfully, losing Robin had been hard for him. And now, seeing her about to be a mother after that was the reason they broke up- it was weird. He had to admit it was weird.

But it was also nice to see her looking so… fulfilled. She truly was glowing; clearly she was in a much better place than when she'd sat, tired out and emotionally strained, in his office for the first time.

"At least, I thought I was okay with it. Until I noticed signs… that I might be. I didn't want to believe it though. I really did not think I was wired up right to be a mom. And I didn't think I wanted to be either. I took a test, but ended up throwing it out the window before I could look at it. After I went to the doctor to find out for sure, I kind of had a moment of emotional clarity when she talked about giving up the baby. The upshot was I was misdiagnosed. My chances were rare, but not impossible."

"That's really brilliant."

"It kind of is." She smiled warmly, hands on the bump again. "It's a girl."

"Have you and Barney named her yet?"

"Um, about that," She gave a droll laugh "We can't quite decide on a name yet. I don't want to bore you with the details… but if I liked Emily, he would like Emerald Esme Esmeralda."

"Ah. That's quite a mouthful."

"You're telling me," she rolled her eyes, grinding her teeth. "I'm really excited. I never expected that I would be. But I just can't wait to see her."

"I demand pictures."

"You'll probably get them via a worldwide newsletter from Lily. Her and Marshall have a very intense bet over whether or not the baby will have blonde or brown hair. They plan for it to span years, 'in case it changes.' It's become a big deal over at Maclaren's; they have the whole bar involved, and I heard talks of charging interest fees."

"So things haven't changed in that way."

Legenbaby supplied a few soft kicks.

"Yeah."

She jolted again. She_ still_ hadn't given Kevin the chance to talk about how he'd been. She shook herself for the very un-Canadian selfishness (it was probably the half-Barney in her belly) and plunked her hot chocolate firmly on the table.

"You need to shut me up and tell me how you are."

Kevin smiled to himself and held up his hand to show a gold wedding band. Robin didn't contain her gasp.

"Oh my god! You're married." He nodded proudly. "That's awesome! Who is she?"

He licked his lower lip and laughed again, that smug little chortle. Delving into the pocket of his pants, he pulled out his cell phone and started flicking through the pictures.

"That's the best part."

He held up a picture of a gorgeous, mixed race woman in a purple dress. The outfit was velvet, long sleeved, but somehow the woman in the picture managed to make it look totally casual. Her hair was long, almost waist length and black, falling over her shoulders in perfect, glossy waves. In her arms was a small baby boy, dressed in stripy blue dungarees and a white pullover. It contrasted adorably with his caramel colored skin and tiny dimples. The baby had huge dark eyes, and was grinning gleefully at the camera. Both mother and son were wearing Christmas hats, both looking blissfully cheerful.

Robin cooed at the picture, getting slightly too wrapped up in how adorable the baby was. Fairly late in the game, her maternal instincts had decided to make an appearance a few months ago, and were particularly overwhelming her at the moment. Following a lifetime of finding them over-rated and irritating, all babies suddenly became the cutest things in the universe. She'd have been fine to pour over the picture for another minute, but something about the woman struck her attention. She squinted and looked closer at the woman in the photo.

Her face had seemed familiar at first glance, yet she had despondently shrugged it off.

"Holy crap is that _Nora_?"

Kevin nodded, evidently besotted.

"_Nora,_ Nora."

"_Nora_ Nora." He confirmed.

"Okay. I don't care if we are here until next spring. I want to know exactly how this transpired."

Then, Kevin went on to tell what was perhaps the most perfectly serendipitous, and definitely lifetime movie worthy (_what_, she had a lot of spare time at the moment) love story she had ever heard.

He told her about how he and Nora had met when she turned up as his patient. Apparently, after she broke up with Barney, she went a little bit off the rails. Robin had noticed her disappearing from work, and had discounted it, but apparently she just quit her job and took up freelance journalism and writing. Which of course sparked her parents to sign her up for therapy immediately. Kevin said that as soon as she saw him there, her face broke.

She ran out straight away, allegedly promising not to come back. Then, she did come back the next week. They started to really click, but he was absolutely resolute in never going near a patient after Robin.

So they sat and talked during her sessions, and over-ran every single time.

Nora had the last slot, so they got to keep chattering way into the night. Some nights, she'd turn up when it wasn't her appointment- and they would just sit and talk. She was on a coffee order basis with all the receptionists by that point.

She started bringing take out food to each session, which lit the fire of their favourite game. They liked to see who could find the strangest and most obscure food they could.

Next, they'd see who could eat the most of it, and whoever lost was subject to ridicule, obliged to perform a dare of the other's choosing. This went on, until Nora found some kangaroo testicle jelly ice pops, and he was looking at her and she simply told him that she thought she might love him.

Kevin said he freaked out asked her to leave. She had turned up the next day, in a cream cashmere sweater with some deep fried candy apples, but he politely informed her that she couldn't be his patient anymore.

So she asked if she could be his girlfriend. All of him was desperate to tell her yes, but he said no. Not after Robin.

His parents were getting sick of him being unmarried, so they set him up with some girl. She was nice, pretty enough, Indian; completely uninterested in him. But, Calita was prepared to go along with the whole thing to appease her own parents. Kevin said that all he could think about was Nora, and that he still had boxes and wrappers from all the wacky candies and things she used to bring to their sessions.

He said that he was this close to just turning up at her door and proposing, but it turned out, he didn't need to.

Because at the party to meet this girl's family, Nora was there. Looking completely stunning in a long, floaty pink sari dress. She was distantly related to this girl, and since she lived in New York, received an invite.

When Kevin saw her there, sipping champagne, he said that he knew that he wanted to be with her. He said that he took the advice he had given to countless patients and stopped letting the past hold him back.

Both of them wanted the same things. Kids, who could solve Easter egg hunts, and go trick or treating in October.

Across the room, their eyes met… and they just knew.

Kevin had announced to his parents that unfortunately, he could not get married to _Calita_, because he was already in love with somebody.

And they never looked back.

"Oh crap, are you crying?"

"Pfft, no."

Robin's damp eyes were rather unconvincing.

She wished that she wasn't, but once again, her hormones were getting the better of her usually steely personality. "Maybe. I don't know, blame the kid." She pointed to her middle.

He sensibly offered her the pastry he had ordered earlier; he knew where it was at when it came to crying pregnant women. Offer any food available.

"That is the weirdest, cutest, most rom-com deserving story I have ever heard."

"We still have 'freaky food Friday's now.' She goes out with Joey and comes back with the most bizarre thing she can find for dinner. She even pulverizes what is baby safe for Joey to have. He can stomach most of it better than us."

Robin wiped her eyes and swallowed a large mouthful of cinnamon roll. It was so ironic that those two had found each other.

"I'm just glad you're in a family now." Robin wiped her nose. "I never forgave myself for cheating on you, and Nora and then the kids thing. I thought I ruined your life."

"You didn't ruin my life Robin. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for breaking up with you because you didn't want kids. If I really really loved you, I wouldn't have cared. Barney didn't care. He just wanted you."

Barney just wants her. Of course he just wants her.

"Me and Nora actually have to thank you guys. She'll be pleased to hear from you. We talk about you and Barney a lot, wondering how you both are doing. She was angry with him at first, but now she's grateful to both of you. Neither of you ruined my life, because if you never dated me, and hooked up with Barney and, let him break up with Nora, she'd never have quit her job. She'd never have come to therapy, she'd never have met me, and I wouldn't have my son and my wife, and she wouldn't have a very successful range of children's novels."

She opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it. That actually made a whole lot of sense. In no way did she condone any form of cheating, but that whole story kind of did make her feel better. She didn't ruin two peoples' lives. She brought them together. In a twisted, highly unrecomendable and messed up way.

But they still ended up together.

"You have no idea how great it's been talking to you, Kevin. Seriously. And I'm not just being polite when I say we should do this again. Give my best to Nora, too."

"Oh, we are unquestionably catching up again. I want to see this little girl in person and get to very self righteously tell her that I knew her before she was born." He stopped for a minute, and added "plus I have got to see how fatherhood treats Barney."

She picked up her bags and laughed.

"I'm looking forward to seeing that too."

* * *

Robin arrived home in a very emotional state. Half extremely relieved, deliriously happy, and completely horny.

It was hard to explain, but after she'd seen Kevin, she had felt nothing but downright joy to know that he was doing so well. She had walked all the way home, not bothering to get a cab. At some point, not eating and being tired, along with all the old memories, seemed to muddle together in her head.

Her hormonal condition managed to get all of this confused in her head, and the result seemed to be an extreme desire for Barney. All she had been able to think about as she trekked up the stairs was_ kissing_ him.

So when she almost staggered through the door to their apartment to meet him, he was more than a little shocked to see her travel across the room at top speed to meet his mouth.

"Woah. What's brought this on." He murmured into the top of her hair. He had to admit, he loved it when Robin _needed_ him. There was nothing more awesome than being greeted by her hungrily making out with him, clearly in the mood for the nasty.

"Barney," she breathed in a low voice, loving and thrilled. "We made a baby!"

"Don't want to shock you here, but I noticed. Kind of hard to hide, Scherbatsky."

She hit him, leaning in to kiss his earlobe. She proceeded to make a trail with her lips down from his sideburns to his collarbones. She pulled at the tie, yanking him closer to her.

"Not that baby. We made another baby."

"Um, Robin, you do realize that that one has to come out before you make any more…right?"

She hit him again, snuggling even closer, roaming her hands below his belt.

"No, we made Kevin and Nora have a baby."

"What the…-"

"Explain later." She mumbled, aggressively starting on Barney's buttons; he was wearing far too many items of clothing for her liking.

"Robin, what happened today?"

"Later. I haven't eaten since midday and I'm emotional and you'd better give me the lovin' lovin' before I explain anything."

"Lovin' lovin'?" He brushed it off scathingly.

"Urgh. Silence yourself. I have pregnancy brain."

He held her in his arms, moving his mouth from her cheekbone back to her lips. Her skin was soft, and slightly cold from outside. In spite of this, she smelt like coffee shop and cinnamon, particularly delicious. One of his hands was combing through her hair, whilst the other worked on undressing her. She moaned in agreement as he touched her more intimately, grinding herself closer and closer to him.

"You look super hot today." He informed her, kissing down her neck to her boobs, hands still feeling up and down her.

"Mmm. Very hot. Hurry up." She grunted, throwing his belt somewhere and not bothering to look were it fell as it produced a large clunking sound. Probably hitting something important if the ominous smash was something to go by.

Barney turned briefly. "Whawasthat?" he mumbled, half occupied by boob.

"Nothing. Nothing. I want to do the sex." She complained, gyrating provocatively to show her enthusiasm.

"Okay. You want to do the sex."

"Yes." She licked her lips with a lewd smile as he moved his face closer to hers. He was _touching_ her in all the right places, and it felt amazing. She closed her eyes and let his tongue work its wonders on her neck.

"So much sex. I want to do _so_ much sex."

Barney freed her of the last item of clothing and raked his eyes over her body.

"I'm waiting. I want you really bad." She explained, voice growing hoarser.

"_Say it again_."

She closed her eyes, irritated. She was not in the mood to wait. Her hormones were highly confused and darting around all over the place.

"Barney. I need you."

His eyes glinted at that, muscles in his arms flexing appealingly as he placed one behind her back.

"Okay then. Let's do the sex."

* * *

A few hours later, they were curled in bed, Robin's head resting on Barney's bare chest. She was lazily playing with his hand. She'd just finished explaining the events of the day to Barney, and how Kevin and Nora had fallen for each other, no corny details spared.

"The universe does some dumb stuff to get people to where they're happy." Barney commented, catching his nail on her engagement ring during the process of linking fingers.

"Preach that. The universe is one crazy bitch."

"I'm fairly confident the universe is a pregnant woman."

Robin sniggered, readjusting herself a bit. She moved Barney's hands down to her bump, letting his hands rub over it in slow circles.

"Sorry about earlier by the way. I don't even know what came over me. Actually, that's a lie. Hunger loss, resulting in super horngry Robin. Plus emotional over exertion. It was a recipe for disaster."

Barney sat up, indignant. "Disaster? Tell that to the Robin who was curved over the bed panting and writhing- and if I remember correctly, _screaming_ as I-"

"Yes, _dear_. I know what you did."

"Yeah you do." He held up his hand for a high five, and Robin groaned for a second as she reached up to slap it, wondering where her dignity had gotten to.

"Mmpf. Kicking. Darn, this kid needs to stop using my bladder as a space hopper." Robin complained as she reluctantly removed herself from the spooning that had been going on. She almost rolled herself out of bed, and got up to waddle her way to the bathroom.

Barney could barely suppress giggles.

"Watch it, you. Remember your trip to empathy belly world yesterday. No comments on the waddling."

"But…"

"None at all." She groaned, rubbing her back. "_Ugh_. Time for the walk of shame."

"Yeah. Waddle of shame."

"Shut your face."

"You know, we should come up with a better alternative to the walk/waddle of shame. I devised with a few in Ted's dream journal." Barney reached over to the side of the bed to retrieve a shiny blue notepad with a property of Ted Mosby sticker along the side. He licked his finger to help turn the pages.

"Aha! Clever alternatives to the walk of shame."

"Barn, I need to pee."

"The sex-ay sashay." He began, regardless. "The got laid parade. The g-spot trot… Robin where are you going. The next one is about butts! The hit that butt strut! This right here is one of my favorites: Post clit-split. The after cum run. Hey, hey… what about the sexit? Like a _sex exit_… am I right? Am I right? Wait, Robin I- _hey_, give me back the dream journal! I have bumper stickers to mass produce!"

* * *

Following some more,_ 'extra-curricular' _activities, they were sat back in their bed again, Robin making tactful use of a body pillow Lily had given her. Luckily, her sanity levels were not yet so low that she had been driven to accessorize said pillow with clothing and a nickname, but it was insanely comfortable all the same. She nestled into it with Barney's arm around her whilst the two of them continued a light argument over baby names.

"Okay Barney, but we have got to be serious here."

"Um, I don't know about you… but I'm being serious."

"Are you." She turned to face him with a half laugh. "You have done nothing but suggest stupid names."

"Just because your names are all _boring_."

She tossed the book she was holding into the fairly large heap, which seemed to be forming around the end of the bed. "Okay. Let's just go through this one."

"1000 top baby names of 2012!" Barney shuddered. "Robin, I hate popular names. They are so mainstream." She shot daggers at him, opening the book anyway. "Besides. 2012? If you're going to follow the crowd, at least follow the in crowd. Those names aren't even current."

Sucking in her lip, she shuffled further backwards into the pillow. Legenbaby hadn't stopped kicking for the past hour, and although she loved feeling her move, Robin was reaching the end of her tether. It hurt, and her back felt like it was about to concave.

"Just think of it as vintage?" She suggested, beginning to press her palms into her back.

"Fine."

"So I'll go through and if I like it, tell me if you've banged a girl with that name, or if you hate it."

Barney grunted in consent.

"Um… damn, most of these suck… oh- how 'bout Ava?"

"Nope."

"Madison's okay…"

"I knew a stripper named Madison once."

She shivered. Absolutely not.

"Aubrey is cute. And kind of different."

"Different is one way to describe her kissing technique."

"Ew. NO. I don't want the details. Just say no."

He nestled himself nearer to her, not wanting to overstep the mark by talking about his 'girls'. It was a general rule that he didn't bring up his past conquests.

"M'kay. Sorry. Go on."

"Layla?"

"LEIA?" Barney's face lit up, and he sat bolt upright.

"_No._ I mean, Ted's had eternal dibs on that name since forever… he'd probably send a lynch mob. Besides, I'm not naming my daughter after a stormpooper."

With a strangled gasp, Barney pulled away. "Ex_cuse_ you, Princess Leia was…-"

Robin recognized her mistake, and hastily distracted him.

"How about Gabrielle?" She stuttered, before he could start on a Star Wars tangent. It was easy for her baby addled brain to forget how passionate he got about that nerd stuff, and she did not want to be forced to sit through all 6 extremely lengthy movies again. They were in the wrong order, for starters. Space _Teens _was, in her opinion, a more entertaining experience.

"So… Um, Claire, Aria or Penny?"

"No, no and no."

"Aofie?"

"Bro code article 39, never trust a girl with a name spelt differently to the pronunciation."

Vigorously crossing two names of her list, Robin rested her pen down with a reserved sigh.

"I guess that rules out Siobhan"

"Ooh, I like Harper." He commented, leaning over her shoulder.

"There was this girl on my hockey team called Harper."

Just thinking about that beautiful, pale girl with the long dark hair made Robin shudder. Not only had she hated Harper, to make matters worse, all the guys she ever had a crush on loved ol' Harper Hastings. Probably because she actually looked like a female.

"Bitch." Robin whispered, recalling that one time Harper came to practice in a skirt even though it was June- practically winter- and everyone had stared at her legs.

"Okaa-y. No to Harper."

"I really like Mia. And Riley and Eden." She smiled, dragging the duvet so it was on Barney and sliding herself and the pillow nest to him. "Those are my top 3 from this book."

"Riley I like. Mia I don't. Allison is a definite no. "

"What's up with Allison, that one was my favourite."

"Um, Allison Stinson? I don't think so."

Robin sighed. The book make a loud thump as it landed on top of the pile, causing 'Awesome dragon names', one of Barney's purchases, to fall off the bed.

Good riddance. Robin thought, fiddling with Barney's wedding ring. Despite his unsurprisingly persistent begging, she refused 'Stormaggedon', 'Hurricane', 'Fireborn', and 'Smaug.'

Sifting through the remaining books on the nightshade, she picked up one full of nature names. Deciding it couldn't hurt, she started to scan through it.

"How do you feel about nature names," she questioned, using her finger to trail down the page.

"I don't know. Read some."

She peered at the names, trying to pick out one she liked. Being honest, she found bird names to be really fitting, but there was no way she could go for any of them, what with her own name being Robin.

"Okay, so flower names are sweet, but I don't know if they're weird because of Lily. I mean I quite like… wait, damnit, Ted's sister is called Heather. Oh, Summer sounds cute. Though, I guess that doesn't really work with Stinson- hey, how about Autumn? Autumn Stinson."

"You know what's a really bad nature name?" he smirked. Robin folded her arms across her chest. "_Plankton_."

"That's great Barn, but I was thinking…-"

"Or Cheeseweed. Hah. Cheeseweed Stinson. _Oh_! Beaver! We could call her _Beaver_!"

"Take it seriously."

"Compressed Flapwort." He stated, deadly serious. Robin snorted. "I'm sorry, _what_?"

"I don't know, I heard Ted say it once."

Forgetting her frustration for a moment, she considered a real, live toddler named Flapwort. "You've got to be some kind of psycho to name your kid Compressed Flapwort."

"How 'bout Horny Toad. Or Horn-billed platypus."

She laughed more at that, beginning to think up some names. "It's duck-billed platypus. Not everything's about being Horney, B-dog. And you know what's even worse?" She thought back to something she read online once, barely able to stop her giggles from tipping over into the conversation. "Screaming Hairy Armadillo."

"Ah, I can see it now. Little Screaming Hairy Armadillo Stinson." Barney wrapped his arm around his wife, leaning in close to her hair so that his lips could tickle her ear. "If you say it fast, it sounds like reaming hairy dildos."

At that, Robin completely gave up with the name choosing. It was getting tiring all this looking through books, and Barney was clearly restless. Besides, who said that they had to come up with the perfect name right now? Loads of people decide on the name, only to realize they hate it when they actually get to meet the baby.

She moved her hand up Barney's thigh, pressing her body as close to him as she could get. She moved her hands over his shoulders, and let them run over his back, grabbing at the sides of his waist as she started kissing him. Both hands flew to his face, cupping it slowly as she moved closer.

"I love you," He mumbled into her cheek as they backed up into the headboard, hands still roaming about each other. He moved his right hand briefly away from her boob so that he could rest it on her stomach. Then, he adopted a mocking tone of great emotion and romance, and looked her straight in the eye as he announced "And I love Screaming Hairy Armadillo, too."

Robin thought again about what had happened earlier that day. Seeing Kevin for the first time in so long. It was such a shock, but had been a positive thing for her. In her imagination, seeing Kevin again would be a nightmare situation, one she'd definitely try to prevent at all costs. But in reality, finding out that he was doing so well was legendary.

He was with Nora, too: that was the icing on the cake. She'd always worried that she and Barney had completely ruined both of their lives. And she'd spent restless nights being guilty hey had found happiness in one and other- but Kevin and Nora might still be searching.

She didn't excuse her behavior, or her cheating, or any of that… but she no longer had to _regret_ it. Without that night, the exact chain of events wouldn't have played out the way it did, and she might not be sat there pregnant with legenbaby. And Kevin and Nora wouldn't have Joey.

She leant back in to kiss Barney, lying back on the bed and arching her back.

"OH!" he exclaimed, breaking of the make out session for a moment.

"What? I was getting into that." Robin rolled over, breathless and wanting Barney's mouth back on hers, pronto.

"I just thought of the _best_ name for Legenbaby. And it's better than Screaming Hairy Armadillo AND Compressed Flapwort. She'll be the envy of all the kindergarteners."

He paused for effect.

"_Hellbender_."

She grabbed him and kissed him before he could stop her again, letting herself get lost in the kiss for a couple of moments before drawing back. Her arms were still hot all over him, smoothing up and across his chest and up his abs. She smiled, just looking at Barney's eyes for a moment, because _this_.

_This_ was what she wanted back when Barney and her danced together at Punchy's wedding. Out of breath, sweaty, and completely connected. She'd never felt quite so alive as she did in that moment when he threw her into the air and caught her. Just like right now, his hand had been on the small of her back, slotting there in a way that wasn't too much, or too scary. Barney touching her… it had always felt _right_. Her brain had been searching for what to say, what to confess to him. If she should ask to try again, if she should ask for just sex.

What she never thought she wanted, or never really knew how to ask for, was the relationship she had with Barney right now. _This. _His hands tightly on her body, lips locked together, trusting each other even though they had both been known to lie and mess things up and run away from their feelings. _This,_ their family and their kid and their marriage was what she wanted. Loving Barney was what she wanted. And she wasn't even the smallest bit afraid that he didn't love her back.


End file.
